Worst Pick-up lines

[theComposer]

I wish I was your derivative [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derivative] so I could lie tangent to your curves.

 

[Berethond]

"Um...so I was wondering...if maybe you'd...liketogotothedancewithme?!"
Didn't quite work.

It's always worth trying. My friend simply smiles at a girl and says "Let's Dance". He says straight to the point works well. Then again he is quite the dancer.

I usually smile and say, "would you like to dance?"

That works amazingly well. I'd say 99.7% of the time. I have a killer smile.

It's near fool proof. Girls like to dance and don't want lame lines to go with it. I've danced with plenty of girls but I'm a terrible dancer so i usually stay off the dance floor and talk to girls outside having smokes.

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

 

[Wiiiiiiilliam]

For the record I'd like bacon and eggs tomorrow morning.

I lost my dog. Wanna help me look? I think it ran into a cheap motel room.

And my personal favorite,

Wanna play army? I'll lye down and you can blow me up.

 

[JackRyan64]

"I think I just found the ark, 'cause your ass is outta this world."
"May I say, you have beautiful eyes... I MEAN NIPPLES!"

Cookie for the reference.

 

[Treeinthewoods]

Hey baby! My mom says I can have girls over, you just have to leave by 10:30 and we need to keep my door open.

 

[Da Chi]

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

I would say I'm both of those things. Not to sound too arrogant I think I'm awesome. But I'm just not confident dancing. Maybe it's the venues I go to. Most clubs where I live are so tightly packed that the only dance you can do without knocking down seven or eight people in the room is "Grinding" and I find it retarded.

 

[jamradar]

My dick just died, can I bury it in you?

 

[Three Eyed Cyclops]

Teh newb question-
WHAT IS CLOROFORM?

Is it essence of Pedobear?

Its a compound of the formula CHCl3 and has been used as an anesthetic drug in the past and is often featured in movies as used for knocking people out.

OT but still somewhat related (in the chemistry sense),
Would you be the nucleophile for my electrophile?

 

[A Pious Cultist]

*sniff loudly* "You smell purdy..."

Probably not possible to top that without what you're saying being interpeted as a poor attempt at humour.

 

[Berethond]

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

I would say I'm both of those things. Not to sound too arrogant I think I'm awesome. But I'm just not confident dancing. Maybe it's the venues I go to. Most clubs where I live are so tightly packed that the only dance you can do without knocking down seven or eight people in the room is "Grinding" and I find it retarded.

I'm really good at learning through watching people do things, so I do pretty well. Maybe you should try some different clubs?

 

[strum4h]

Nice shoes, wanna fuck? never works.

 

[Buccura]

Does this rag smell like chlorophyll to you?

 

[KaiRai]

"I've lost my number, can I have yours?"

It was for a bet though. I won the bet and got a drink. But not the girl's number God I miss being 16 and looking 18. So much fun back then.

 

[el_logano]

"is your daddy a baker cause you can make my banana cream"
"you have a beautiful voice, i'll bet it'll sound even better muffled by my penis"
"hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy"
... i have hundreds of these and spent one night creating a sexual harassment case against myself by sending every one i could think of to most of the people in my contacts list

 

[commandersqwigly]

I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U...

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

I dont want to come between you... or do I

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

im good at being creepy...

 

[Shru1kan]

"I think I just found the ark, 'cause your ass is outta this world."
"May I say, you have beautiful eyes... I MEAN NIPPLES!"

Cookie for the reference.

Arby 'n' the Chief?

 

[hottsaucekid]

Me: Hey got any Band-Aids?
Her: No, Why?
Me: Because I scraped my knee falling for you ;D

 

[ScRaT_the_destroyer]

*best gollum voice* you smell nice */gollum*

 

[Da Chi]

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

I would say I'm both of those things. Not to sound too arrogant I think I'm awesome. But I'm just not confident dancing. Maybe it's the venues I go to. Most clubs where I live are so tightly packed that the only dance you can do without knocking down seven or eight people in the room is "Grinding" and I find it retarded.

I'm really good at learning through watching people do things, so I do pretty well. Maybe you should try some different clubs?

I've tried most of the clubs around here. Basically the same thing. I guess people like bumping junk in a crowded pit around here. And seeing as how everyone grinds all I can watch people do is just that. Not a whole lot of technique. A lot of cologne tight shirts is what guys use to pick up girls around here.

 

[JackRyan64]

"I think I just found the ark, 'cause your ass is outta this world."
"May I say, you have beautiful eyes... I MEAN NIPPLES!"

Cookie for the reference.

Arby 'n' the Chief?

DING DING!