Worst Pick-up lines

[Berethond]

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

I would say I'm both of those things. Not to sound too arrogant I think I'm awesome. But I'm just not confident dancing. Maybe it's the venues I go to. Most clubs where I live are so tightly packed that the only dance you can do without knocking down seven or eight people in the room is "Grinding" and I find it retarded.

I'm really good at learning through watching people do things, so I do pretty well. Maybe you should try some different clubs?

I've tried most of the clubs around here. Basically the same thing. I guess people like bumping junk in a crowded pit around here. And seeing as how everyone grinds all I can watch people do is just that. Not a whole lot of technique. A lot of cologne tight shirts is what guys use to pick up girls around here.

Well that's too bad, maybe you should try a different scene? Find a new place?

 

[ScRaT_the_destroyer]

It doesn't hurt if you're good looking and confident.
I'm not a bad dancer, I'm only really good at certain kinds of dancing. I can swing-dance like there's no tomorrow.

I would say I'm both of those things. Not to sound too arrogant I think I'm awesome. But I'm just not confident dancing. Maybe it's the venues I go to. Most clubs where I live are so tightly packed that the only dance you can do without knocking down seven or eight people in the room is "Grinding" and I find it retarded.

I'm really good at learning through watching people do things, so I do pretty well. Maybe you should try some different clubs?

I've tried most of the clubs around here. Basically the same thing. I guess people like bumping junk in a crowded pit around here. And seeing as how everyone grinds all I can watch people do is just that. Not a whole lot of technique. A lot of cologne tight shirts is what guys use to pick up girls around here.

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

 

[Fetzenfisch]

"in this light i nearly couldnt tell you apart from an attractive person"

 

[Da Chi]

Well that's too bad, maybe you should try a different scene? Find a new place?

That's what I've been trying. I recently tried the Casino for picking up. It was ok. I talked to a few people but all in all none of it was too amazing. Who knows, maybe I should go back to college, where pick-up lines worked like clockwork.

 

[Da Chi]

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

Meh, I've grinded on girls before. I ended up taking home a girl I really shouldn't have. As in "I'm getting tested as soon as you leave" kind of thing. You don't find quality through dry humping.

 

[ScRaT_the_destroyer]

do you like animé? my mom says that i should find someone who does

a sure fire winner

 

[ScRaT_the_destroyer]

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

Meh, I've grinded on girls before. I ended up taking home a girl I really shouldn't have. As in "I'm getting tested as soon as you leave" kind of thing. You don't find quality through dry humping.

well sex is better than no sex, am i right?

sorry for double poast

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

*Go up to woman, lick your finger and put the saliva on her shirt* "Let's get you out of those wet clothes"

I have't tried it but I laughed so much when I heard it.

 

[godofallu]

Fuck me if i'm wrong but haven't I met you before?

 

[Da Chi]

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

Meh, I've grinded on girls before. I ended up taking home a girl I really shouldn't have. As in "I'm getting tested as soon as you leave" kind of thing. You don't find quality through dry humping.

well sex is better than no sex, am i right?

sorry for double poast

Too true, but I found myself thinking I shouldn't have had sex after that night. I never want that to happen again. Every time I want sex to be "Sweet! I got laid. Go me!"

 

[Eumersian]

Hey baby?All Aboard The PAIN TRAIN!!

Excuse me! Body inspector! Looks like you passed with flying colours (that one has to be delivered in a british accent).

Are you a galaxy? Because you look like a bunch of beautiful stars all put together.

This one never works:
(Pirate accent) Prepare to be boarded!

At a biology conference:
Hey. Do you wanna draw up some Punnet Squares to see what our kids would look like?

You could also be really blunt and bring out this old gem that got me slapped in the face:
Excuse me. I find you very beautiful. I would like to have sex with you, get married, raise a family in a nice suburban home, and grow old with you. That cool?

 

[ScRaT_the_destroyer]

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

Meh, I've grinded on girls before. I ended up taking home a girl I really shouldn't have. As in "I'm getting tested as soon as you leave" kind of thing. You don't find quality through dry humping.

well sex is better than no sex, am i right?

sorry for double poast

Too true, but I found myself thinking I shouldn't have had sex after that night. I never want that to happen again. Every time I want sex to be "Sweet! I got laid. Go me!"

ohh it was that kind of night

OT: "behind the bins in 3 mins?" another winner

 

[MadCapMunchkin]

I like my women like I like my coffee, in a plastic cup. -Eddie Izzard

I thought he liked his women hot and strong...with a spoon in them.

OT: "Hey, gorgeous. Can I borrow a quarter? I need to call heaven and let them know I've found their missing angel..."

That actually got me slapped...twice...

 

[Da Chi]

maybe you should try joining the herd for one night?

Meh, I've grinded on girls before. I ended up taking home a girl I really shouldn't have. As in "I'm getting tested as soon as you leave" kind of thing. You don't find quality through dry humping.

well sex is better than no sex, am i right?

sorry for double poast

Too true, but I found myself thinking I shouldn't have had sex after that night. I never want that to happen again. Every time I want sex to be "Sweet! I got laid. Go me!"

ohh it was that kind of night

OT: "behind the bins in 3 mins?" another winner

Say this one quiet. "QuickieInTheBathroom?"
They go what?
then yell "Quickie In The Bathroom!?!"
When everyone hears you look around and go "Fuck, looks like they are on to us. Looks like we have to go to my place"
Gets you slapped every time, with high fives and cheers.

 

[whaleswiththumbs]

This thread looked like it would be a good laugh for me, but it just got sadder and less funny the farther i went down. I feel non-appointed

 

[Shiverman]

Lifes short
I'm not
and your hot
(it actually freakin worked)

 

[Beardon65]

"Were you raised on a farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!"

All I can think of right now. I'll try to post more. I have a friend who makes these things up, but that's the only one I can remember.

 

[DarkPanda XIII]

Let's resort the alphabet so that I and U are together :3

 

[Kiju]

"Are your parents retarded? 'cause you sure are special."

-Robin Williams

 

[WeirdBlueOne]

Do you live around here often? - Steven Wright

-Did you fall from heaven? Because I believe in the afterlife.
-That?s a nice dress. I?d like to crumple you with my floor.
-Woah! You blinded me with your beauty. So, you better call an ambulance. *LATER* Call the ambulance yet? You will.
-Are those ass-pants? Because you have a nice butt.
-Excuse me, I lost my phone number. Do you know it?
-You?re so hot, that I?m gonna need skin grafts......from the horrible burns
-You know what? I?m gonna call 911 because you look like an arsonist.
ALL those are basically failed pick-up lines from the "Rapid-Fire" Loading Ready Run videos