Worst Pick-up lines

[Muffinthraka]

"I like my women like I like my wine.
Light and bubbly



and straight from the bottle!!!"





Aaaaaaaand I'm back in the skip.

 

[KarumaK]

"Get in the car."

Or

"See, I didn't want to use the restraints but you had to be difficult."

 

[Hwoof]

Two for the mathematicians

"Hey babe, could i be the derivative of your function? That way i'd be tangent to your curves"

or how about

"I wish i was the integral of your function, that way i'd be the area underneath your curves"

 

[Funkysandwich]

No means yes.

Yes means anal.

 

[Soxafloppin]

My personal favourite that actually worked is "This is really awkward...kiss?"

 

[Mr Pantomime]

I like my Women like I like my Whiskey. Two years old and unopened.

I actually said that to a girl at a party. She wanted to hear a joke. Started looking at me funny =\

 

[Chesterfield Snapdragon McFisticuffs]

"Give me a blowjob or I'll set you on fire"

 

[_tinned_magpie_]

I used to think no guy ever actually used these lines. Then I started Uni and was proved very wrong.

The worst one? Probably when some guy grabbed my wrist and said 'You're not leaving me'.

He failed to realise that in grabbing me, it brought his balls in range of my heels.

Also:

Random Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

Me: -cracks up laughing-

Guy: Yeah... I lost a bet.

 

[Cerrida]

Worst one I ever had said to me:

I was working at a grocery store and this 40-year-old fat guy looked at his receipt and said, "Oh, you forgot something."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, what was it?"
Him: "Your phone number."
I smiled and laughed and was thoroughly creeped out the rest of the day.

 

[Slythernite]

Worst one I ever had said to me:

I was working at a grocery store and this 40-year-old fat guy looked at his receipt and said, "Oh, you forgot something."
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry, what was it?"
Him: "Your phone number."
I smiled and laughed and was thoroughly creeped out the rest of the day.

O.O I would be terrified!

OT: "Do you have any Irish in you? No? Do you want some?"

 

[Queen Michael]

"Wanna kiss?" *afterwards* "Wanna make out?" I admit it worked when a girl I'd never met before used it on me, but let's be frank; it's not a great line.

 

[Macgyvercas]

"Hey, is your dad a thief? Because that's totally my jetta parked out front."

Apple for reference (healthier than cookie)

XKCD. Where's my apple?

Teh newb question-
WHAT IS CLOROFORM?

Is it essence of Pedobear?

Chloroform (CHCl[sub]3[/sub]), also called trichloromethane, is a chemical that is known for it's ability to render a person unconscious if they inhale it.

 

[Raptorace18]

*Walks up to woman in the street/bar/book shop/where ever*

'Excuse miss I think you dropped this.'

*Hands woman piece of paper with his number on it and legs it*

Behold the fail of it.

 

[leonnasagawa]

Don't think I have had that experience... Yet.

 

[Shirokurou]

"You're a woman, and I'm a man, so..." bonus fail points if she asks what you meant by that.

Also, to the people who know it "Yaranaika". But usually the shirt unzipping gives a basic idea.

"Have you ever had an Australian Kiss before?"
- "No, what is that?"
"It's like a French Kiss, only down under"

Epic.

 

[Declaro]

A friend of mine was forced to use this one: "I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?" Needless to say it kinda bombed.

There was this comedienne who claims she tried this one on a woman who looked like a supermodel. "*takes stuff out of pockets and puts it on the table* Baby, I got a bus card, two packets of hot sauce and 30 cents. Can we make a love connection?"

 

[felixdan1]

do u know thi difference between sex and conversation?
no
then why dont you come back to my place and let us talk.

is there a mirror in ur pocket cos i can see myself in ur pants

how bout u sit on my lap and well talk about the first thing that pops up

thats a nice outfit it would look good scrunched up at the end of my bed

lets play house u be the door and ill slam you

and my favourite:
SCREW ME PLEASE

i havent tried these btw......-_-

 

[Ch@Z]

or

 

[bad_dog14]

Hey I bought you a drink. Come on, take. Take it, come on. JUST TAKE THE FUCKING ROOFIE!

 

[lokun489]

ok this is kinda wierd but hey!
"damn, if you were in anime you'd be rule 34'd in a second"
edit: highly doubt this'll wokr
"i take sex like i take my cofee, watching my roomate doing it and thinking its disgusting"