Worst puns ever!

[Simalacrum]

basically, i'm a little bored, so i've decided to make a small thread about "what is the worst pun you have ever experienced?" you know the kind, the ones so terrible or cheesy that you can't help but laugh at them...

my one would be in a school monthly meeting:

student: "i believe it would be good to increase the number of refrigirators in each house." (note: its a bording school)
head master in response: "i think that would be a very COOL idea!"

oh no... in front of the majority of the school as well...

SO! in a similar fashion, please go ahead and post your worst experience in the world of punning!

small note: i understand that there used to be a thread similar to this one. However, that thread is upon game-related puns, while this thread is for just puns in general. as far as i am aware no other thread has been made for puns-only.

EDIT: so far the best pun submitted in my opinion is:

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

lets see if someone can top that!

 

[Fenring]

What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?

Damn.

My favorite joke.

 

[darktheif28]

Orange you glad I didn't say banana... You did say banana don't lie

 

[birdbrain18]

whats green and smells like paint

green paint

 

[Say Anything]

Me: This vacuum cleaner works great!

Mom: Well, that sucks!

._.

 

[xitel]

What do you call a midget gansta? A g.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

why should you never look up a number in a Chinese phone book?

cause there's so many Wings and Wongs you might wing the wong number

 

[masterblaze0]

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

ROFL

I lol'd

 

[pantsoffdanceoff]

What do you say when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
C Sharp or B Flat minor!

 

[Sennz0r]

Why do ant-eaters never get sick?

Because they're full of anty bodies.


When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

 

[Simalacrum]

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

so far i have reason to believe this is the best pun yet. bravo! if only i was the best at circus skills just as you are the best pun here... (look to my profile, under interests you'll find why i mention circus skills)

 

[Ago Iterum]

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

 

[Shivari]

(said after any succession of positive victories)

"I'm like butter; I'm on a roll!"

 

[Sennz0r]

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

 

[xitel]

I got attacked by a vampire.

Really? That bites.

 

[Phantom2595]

I once entered a pun telling contest and to make sure, I put in ten entries to win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Hahahaaa! Nice one. Almost beats mine (I didn't invent it of course, I wish!)

Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

I've heard that one a hundred times now thanks to Fallout 3

 

[Shivari]

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

 

[Sennz0r]

I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn't have the patience.

I was going to be a cardiologist, but I didn't have the heart.

I was going to be a baker, but I couldn't raise the dough.

 

[EeveeElectro]

What's red and blue?
Purple

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"