Would you Kindly?

[TheMariner]

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory
Hokkaido mission, first guard.

Guard: "You should probably kill me now. I'm the biggest coward you've ever met."
Sam: "That's quite a claim."
Guard: "I've already wet myself."
Sam: "Well, then you've made the top ten."

Also, not really a quote, but all the guards in the first Splinter Cell whistle 'If I Were a Rich Man' (at least in the GC version).

EDIT: From Dawn of War, when the space marines say 'Take and Hold' I honestly thought they said 'Cake and Hope' the first time I heard it.

 

[Hazy]

Dosh! (cookies for reference)

Loads of monneeeeeyyy!
Can anyone lend me a tenner?
MONEY MONEY MONEY

"I'M GETTING HUNGRY, HOMBRE!"

 

[Wutaiflea]

"OH GAWD! If I'd known this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!" - Yuffie Kisaragi, about to molested by Don Corneo, Final Fantasy 7.

 

[Photon987]

"I am SHODAN."

Even after all these years, that part still makes me feel ill-at-ease.

 

[Vrex360]

Again, I have to stress:


Amazing stuff. That last line from the Arbiter and Truth anyway, it's prefect.

Also the line after Shepard and Ashley have done the deed:

"You still sassin me soldier, I think you need more physical training."

"Tsk, now what will it take to prove I'm in prime condition Skipper?"

Seriously that was gold, it makes me really hope she comes back in Mass Effect 3.

 

[IckleMissMayhem]

"You cut a pretty pitiful figure up there. I'd say you're about a -3 on the manliness scale." (Kiros to Laguna - FFVIII)

 

[Zhukov]

Oh yeah, and another one that hasn't come up yet:

"In my talons I shape clay, crafting life forms as I breathe.

Around me is a burgeoning empire of steel. From my throne room, lines of power careen down to the skies of Earth. My whims will become as lightening bolts that devestate the minds of humanity. Out of the chaos they will run and whimper, praying for me to end their tedious anarchy.

I am drunk with this vison.

God.

The title suits me well."

 

[supermariner]

they asked me if i had a degree in theoretical physics... i said i had a theoretical degree in physics and they hired me up

... love Fantastic from New Vegas
he's the biggest douche ^^

 

[Spygon]

"Did you hear that?"
"It's just the wind..."
"Oh yeah? Since when did the wind whisper "Hostiles..." to you?"

"WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIE?!"

And finally, "From where you're kneeling, it must seem like an 18-carat string of bad luck. But the truth is, the game was rigged from the start."

And as an added bonus, guess what games they are from[footnote]Two are obvious anyway.

The first one is gears of war,second is bioshock i think and third is benny at the start of fallout new vegas.

"Now he is setting things on fire"

"You should always be alert on a combat situation"
"We are in a combat situation?"

 

[Magnesium360]

"Max. Dearest of all my friends." Vladimir Lem rocks. Love MP1&2.

 

[brunothepig]

"After I kill you I'm going to rape your corpse, don't worry I'll be gentle."
Gotta love Morrowind.

"You should find an outlet."
"I have plenty of outlets."
"I mean besides vaginas."
Assassin's Creed 2

It had me rolling on the floor.

Or a few things from Assassins Creed 2. Like this. Oh god, laughed so much. That and "it's a-me. Mario". YES!

 

[Ryokai]

"Curious. Why bother programming you to feel pain? Of course, pain is a necessary response to certain stimuli, but they could have dulled the sensation or given you a threshold that would limit the extant or depth of your agony."

*whimper*

"I'm glad they didn't. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Muro, from Oni

Or,

"So, how does this end?"

"For you? Badly."

Konoko from the same game

 

[rancher of monsters]

X-Men! Welcome... to die!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdAmkx8eAos

 

[Blue Musician]

"Heh! It's a throne room. How pretentious can you get?"

"I guess if you're rich enough you can build any sort of madhouse to live in."

"I prefer my payment in CASH...not liquor, Mister...ahh..."

"It's a rock. It's what you asked for. Am I gonna get paid or not?"

"The most promising acolyte left us, not out of the lesser folly of sentiment, but the greater folly of anger. His heart was clouded, and his balance was lost, but his abilities were unmatched. Even then, we knew to watch him most carefully."

"The knowledge of those who came before could neither be disseminated or destroyed. Its power would be a dangerous tool in the wrong hands, but would also insure against future cataclysm. At that time we chose to maintain it with writings preserved in extant locations."

"Iron trees? Not in my part of town."

Victoria: "Our guest Cavador just spilled his guts."
Garrett: "Not literally?"
Victoria: "That wasn't necessary.

"Well, taffer. Now that you're dead...can I have those boots?"

"You son of a dog!"

"OK, run! If I were you, I would run, too."

"Gone? Well I'd run too if I saw someone like me looking for... er, me..."

All of these quotes come from the Thief trilogy.

 

[Wes1180]

No M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!! yet?
Well that's mine
And GLADOS

 

[ZenMonkey47]

"I cannot be caged."
*Cowled wizard is disintegrated*
"I cannot be controlled."
*Cowled wizard has his soul ripped from his body*
"Understand this as you die. Ever pathetic, ever fools!"
*Cowled wizard turned to stone and then exploded for good measure*

Irenicus from BG2 shows us how villainy is done.

 

[Sexy Street]

No king rules forever, my son.
Pretty awesome, am I right?

 

[Dragunai]

"We're being sent on a coffee and donut run. Only problem is that the Nazis drank all the coffee and donuts and now we gotta go beat the shit out of them." Company of Heroes

One of the best in WW2 Rts games ^^

 

[Summerstorm]

I love Caleb from Blood. Unfortunately, he is not popular amongst gamers...

"I live, again."

Stephen Weyte

How is he not popular? He ranks just a millifonzy under Kain (Simon Templeman) of Legacy of Kain, in terms of coolness.

Doomed Guardsman: "Lay your Weapons down, Vampire, and we promise you a quick death"
Kain: "I could promise you the same.... but it would be a LIE"

here is a summary of Legacy of Kain: Defiance as a movie:

 

[Unia]

L4D2:
Ellis: "Oh mah God, KIDDYLAND!!!!"
Rochelle: "Wish I could be that happy."
Ellis: "Can I ride one? C'mon, just one, hell if we'll ever get back here."
Nick: "...Now I want to ride one."

What really topped it off was when a moment later I saw a sign with the park mascot Peanutman saying "Sorry, ride's closed". Nick said in this dead-serious tone "I do not like that Peanutman".