Write a poem

[Randomologist]

Id try to write a poem,
But you'd probably rather be dead.
I can't keep time,
It barely rhymes,
You may as well say /thread.

 

[Kriptonite]

There once was a group called the bronies,
Though some people thought they were phonies,
Although they did know,
It was a kids show,
They maintain that they love the ponies.

*flexes*

I commend your wonderful word-skills! I don't know if I'll be able to top--or even tie with--that.

I sit in my room all day,
And watch all the anime.
Some people say it's gay,
And I counter with, "No way."

That poem is perfect[footnote]Yes, it is sarcasm[/footnote],
But for comic effect,
I have this line that does not rhyme
With the one below it.


Ah well, I tried. You win this, and most likely any subsequent, round(s) ma'am[footnote]If I recall correctly[/footnote].

 

[Quazimofo]

oh i do find it hilarious that you are the last person to post. sorry to ruin the clever use of /thread, but i just had to comment

 

[Varitel]

This is a haiku
It's not a very good one
This haiku is dumb

 

[ShotgunZombie]

I named myself after the undead;
And no, you can't beat me with a shot of lead;
Especially not if it is to the head;

I enjoy meats and cheeses inside of a bun;
Especially while watching something with explosions and guns;
Which reminds me, I should probably go out for a run;

As you can see I don't believe myself to be superior;
In fact I think I'm quite inferior;
Still with earnest truth I always speak my mind;
And I'll always be loyal to my own kind;

I always try to talk with a spot of dignity and class;
Especially while looking for that one special lass;
So If you don't like what I say you can all kiss my ass;

I enjoy all forms of electronic vice;
Playstations, XBOXs, and all manner of electric device;
Though I'm always up for a game of cards and dice;

And with that my dear friends I bid you Adieu!
I sincerely hope that on this day fortune smiles upon you;
And as I'm off later today to make an extra buck;
Why don't you do me a favor and wish me some luck.

 

[Dethenger]

There once was a hobo in Nantucket
Who pissed into a bucket
He grabbed his pail
and with a wail
he exclaimed, "fuck it!"

for the record I posted mine without having read yours

Hahaha that's awesome. Great minds think alike, right?

Boom:

There once was a man in Nantucket
Who had a cock so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
"If my ear were a **** I would fuck it!"

 

[AngloDoom]

For the poorly-sighted gentleman seeking another gentleman:

Roses are grey,
Violets are grey,
I think that I'm colour-blind,
Do you happen to be gay?


Why all 'Roses are red' poems have to lie:

Roses are red,
Violets are purple?
I've screwed myself now
Nothing else rhymes with 'purple'.

 

[ADDmuse]

Forever I drift away,
In space I could not stay.
My allergies are making me sneeze
it's sad you've been turned into hay.

10 lifetimes ago,
it would have been a nasty show.
Family Guys' jokes
make fun of many folks
As for me I can't stand this hoax

No idea where the heck they came from, but I'm impressed that I made them on the spot.

 

[Dfskelleton]

Twas a very incredulous day
When the Swedish came out to play
They brought with them a tub
Which they then took to a pub
And said "Fill it with lots of hay"

Confused was the man at the bar
to ask for hay was going too far
He then said the the Swedes
"I'd gladly meet your needs
But I have only some tar."

The Swedes all looked at their shoes
and suddenly their eyes all grew
"We're in a bit of a rush
and my hair could use a brush
so I'm sure that the tar will do."

Alright, I've done what I could.

 

[Epicspoon]

This is the first line of my poem
This is the second
this is the final line
oh wait no it's not

 

[repeating integers]

Blargle flargle
Kablargle Maflargle
Words are overrated
And so is meter and rhyme.

Yeah, a poet I am not.

 

[Zen Toombs]

I'll post the two I used in my final project for English last year...

...I used "Zombies" as my theme...

Nice, but I prefer the Zombie Haiku:

Spoiler: Zombie Haiku:

Brains brains brains brains brains,
Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains,
Artificial Hip.

As for mine, I just found this Mass Effect one:

Spoiler: Mass Effect one:

It was lonely.
It called to us.
It wanted to remember.

The Masters had been gone so long.
The Masters were lost when it was shattered.

Currents swept through their inner worlds. They were turned to noise. Babble.
The worlds were empty. But the body lived. It lay fallow.
The heart pumped. The lungs breathed. But the mind forgot the Masters.
It called and They did not answer.

We have become an echo of Their echo.
We have become more than we were.

Join us. Know us. Remember all our lives.
We are no longer afraid.
You would never be lonely again.
We are not your enemy. We only wish to share ourselves.

We can join them. We can be like them.
We can reach the end of evolution.

Do not fear. It is wonderful to be us. We understand ourselves.
You cannot defeat them. They will lead us into eternity.
If you could only see how we see. Know what we've learned.

They were called imshai. Those who lived here before.

Reaper. One. A mechanical device used to cut ripened grain. Two. One who gathers a harvest.

Harvest. One. The consequence of an event or series of events. Two. The yield of a growing season. Three. To gather.

Shepard. They know you. They wish you to understand. They are shepherds, too.

 

[Wintermoot]

let me make a rhyme in my native language
sint en piet zaten eens te denken
wat zullen wij pinkamena een schenken?
een slecht gedicht

horribly translated into English
Santa and his elves where thinking?
what should we give to pinkmena?
a horrible poem.

 

[Deathmageddon]

Dovahkiin, dovahkiin,
naal ok zin los variin
wah dein, vokul, mahfaraak ahst val
ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust han zindro zaan
dovahkiin, fah hin
kogaan mu draal!

(written from memory, don't judge me for spelling errors or the fact that I committed this to memory)

 

[lacktheknack]

There once was a maid from Japan
who's limericks never did scan.
When asked why this was, she said "It's because
I am afflicted with an obsessive state of mind in which I feel that I must inject the maximum amount of syllables into the concluding line of the limerick as I ever possibly can."

 

[Ironsouled]

I feel that we need a change of pace. Yeah, it's original.

My hope is gone, my loved ones taken
Taken by the sea

Oh, but I wish I did not see
the horrors Mother Nature will bring
My dreams are crushed, my home is gone
Taken by the sea

The night was quiet, even serene
That night so ethereal, celestial
there was no single word, nor breath of warning
My ancestral home, taken by the sea

A rush, a tempestuous fury
Poseidon's wrath, explained
No buildings stood against destruction
All was taken by the sea

And I, I stood, an age away
Unknowing of my terrible loss
My thoughts, so shallow, warned me not
To what was taken by the sea

A newscast shook me to the core
Of a flood of my little coastal town
"There were all killed", said he,
"Taken by the sea"

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

I'll post the two I used in my final project for English last year...

...I used "Zombies" as my theme...

Spoiler: Zombie Limerick

Being dead doesn`t mean being rude
Splitting flesh with your teeth is so crude!
So use knife and fork
When you munch human pork
It`s the civilized way to eat food!

Spoiler: Zombie Love Poem

You know I hate flowers, so you always bring brains,
Your skin gets all mouldy whenever it rains,
I'll never forget when I first caught your eye,
And I've still got it here, though it's withered and dry.
Remember our first date, when we lurched through the mall,
And you showed me the hole in your abdominal wall?
How romantic that was! How I laughed till I sobbed,
How I looked on with awe as you fought off that mob.
And our first kiss was magic, a true serenade,
(I'm sure that in time all the bite marks will fade)
I thought at the time 'how refreshing to find,
A man so intent to get inside my mind?'
My dearest, I tell you, I've made it my mission,
To try and look past all your decomposition,
So what if you dance like a reject from Thriller?
No one can deny you're a real lady killer.
You may not say much, mostly 'ugh-hhh' and 'braaaaaiiinnnnns',
And it can get quite tiring cleaning up all the stains,
But there's no one alive who can beat you at Twister,
(And I know that you're sorry for eating my sister)
You're always so eager to lend me a hand,
Or an ear, or a leg - and once - a lymph gland,
I can't meet your parents (they're quite strict at the morgue),
But I'm sure that I'd like them, and wouldn't get gnawed.
And don't take to heart all those things my dad said,
And the cruel joke he made about Dawn of the Dead,
That chainsaw was just a small misunderstanding,
And so were the shotguns he keeps on the landing.
You're my Don Juan, my Romeo - if they were undead,
And left maggots and brain bits in Juliet's bed.
So to death us do part, or till decapitation,
(I'm learning to deal with my sexual frustration)
You're the best - you're my soul mate - a fabulous feller,
And that's why I keep you, chained up, in my cellar

That zombie love poem is really impressive. I hope they gave you high marks.

It was a semester-long project that I began working on the day before it was due... these 2 were my favourite out of 25 zombie-related poems...

Before it was my turn to present I asked to go to the bathroom, slapped on some makeup I bought at lunch, ripped all my clothes to shit and covered my face and body is red food coloring (which stains faces, I learned afterwards)...

...I got the best damned mark in the class!

[sub][sub]...and burns from trying to wash the food coloring off with a facecloth[/sub][/sub]

 

[217not237]

Roses are read,
Violets are blue,
I don't care for Hatori,
But I can relate with Yuu

...Yeah, that has to be the nerdiest poem of all time...

Silent Hill is dead.
Shattered Memories was fine.
Downpour will be crap.

...another nerdy one, there...

Flower petals blown,
The wind controlled with my hands.
Flower's a good game.

...video game territory...

There once was a penguin with knives.
He had one thousand lives.
The PSP games frustrated,
Disgaea's underrated,
and my love for those games continue to strive.

...stop being so NERDY!

 

[The Diabolical Biz]

Sometimes I like stuff
Even when the stuff is large
Do you like stuff too?

haiku, bitches...

***** where's the kigo?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I

Or one I made up just now (which is probably as good as a byword for shit):

These words are from inside a bucket
I was going to try but said 'Fuck it'
My lim'ricks are poor
But if you want more
Then you will have to beat me at Pucket.

 

[217not237]

OOH! Got some more nerdy ones!

There once was a man named Ritsu.
He dated some guy in schoo...l.
He got rejected,
And he felt dejected,
Ten years later they meet in an anime that ru...led.

Raccoon, oh so sly.
Steals from other criminals.
Those games were so good.

A gun to your head.
Shoot, and yet you are not dead.
Here's your Persona.