Wrong Answer

[Scde2]

A: Because you were sentenced to be a judge.

Q: Do you want to be the judge?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Well, I do love power.

Q: Do you want to take the bailiff home tonight? His car broke down.

 

[Scde2]

A: No, he has AIDS.

Q: Am I a terrible person?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Yes, because you have them, too.

Q: Why did the bailiff run out of the room crying?

 

[Scde2]

A: I told him that he looked fat.

Q: Didn't he look fat?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Actually he did.

Q: But why be brutally honest with him? Don't you know that he loves you?

 

[Scde2]

A: Because he's fat. Yes I knew that he was in love with me.

Q: What was I supposed to do?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Lie, and then go home and *long censored sentences* with a traffic cone.

Q: What do you plan to do with the traffic cone now?

 

[Scde2]

A; Give it to you as a birthday present.

Q: Wouldn't that hurt?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Yes, but the heat of passion lessens all pains.

Q: Is this getting uncomfortable? And where has that traffic cone already been?

 

[Scde2]

A: That's what she said.

Q: What did she said?

 

[War Penguin]

A: She said stopping saying that's what she said.

Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar?

 

[Scde2]

A: Just ask nicely for one.

Q: What time is it?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: "That's what she said!"

Q: Haven't we been over this already?

 

[War Penguin]

A: No.

Q: Where am I?

 

[Scde2]

A: In Iraq, here's a gun, go shoot things.

Q: Who are we?

 

[War Penguin]

A: People with too much time on our hands, just like the way it should be.

Q: Why are we here on Earth?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: No reason.

Q: Why haven't we killed ourselves yet?

 

[Scde2]

A: We keep failing at it.

Q: Why do we want to kill ourselves?

 

[Heart of Darkness]

A: Because we keep waiting for Godot.

Q: Would hanging ourselves give us an erection?[footnote]Taken from Waiting for Godot. Will edit this upon request.[/footnote]