WTF Australia?!?!?!

[lovestomooch]

*australian accent*
You call that a spider? THIS is a spider!

 

[Whoatemysupper]

TIL The Escapist is not like Reddit. Can I say TIL here?

 

[emeraldrafael]

So yeah, Australia just gave humans another reason to GTFO and we're too drunk/proud to bother. Just wait, cause the first time you hear news of an actual dragon or living dinosaur its going to come frmo australia.

 

[Seanfall]

Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8454494/giant-queensland-spider-devours-snake] It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

Well obviously we engineer a toad/Rhino crossbreed. The Krogan. And unleash them on the spidery bastards.

Really though KILL IT WITH FIRE PURGE THE JUNGLE OF THESE MONSTERS! Goooood I hate spiders. *shivers all over and double checks there are none on him.

 

[Robert Ewing]

Fucking Australia. And fuck the guys balls that are steel enough to put his hand next to the fucking thing.

 

[renegade7]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by

- A mate got stung by a platypus.

They can STING you too? Holy shit, how are platypi not the dominant species of the world yet...

 

[devilofthemist]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

never challenge nature, it will fuck your day up, on tomorrow's news a new breed of super spider that can swim,run and tunnel at 60mph is the size of a cat and can survive any temperature between -100 and 100 degrees Celsius

Come at me, spider. I've got Jack Johnson, Tom O'Leary and my swinging cod.

sorry why are we not making this into a film?

 

[StormShaun]

Meanwhile in Australia.

Spiders, where?

Haha, I live in the Suburbs of Perth and we/I barely get a spider, I only get the red backs of Huntsmen (which are outside), and the only spider that gets in my room dies later that day.

Still I'm scared sh*tless of them.

 

[Corporal Yakob]

Excuse me one moment.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[uhddh]

I'm certain that this would help people decide properly before coming here

EDIT: embeding the video didn't work so have a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I

 

[phyrexian]

Shopped.

We don't have anything like that out here. No, we have cute things, like koalas. They don't secretly want to rip your faces off to make a fleshy quilt with or anything like that, what gave you that idea?

 

[Galletea]

Worst we get here in Britain is probably the odd angry badger or two.

Seriously, don't mess with badgers, they're mean bastards I tell you.

 

[SckizoBoy]

First thing I thought of when I read the word 'spider':

Get outta the picture y'damned mantis!!

 

[iLazy]

Well, if Australia ever wants to take over the world, I'm sure they'll have no problem. Fucking unleash their god damn animals on us. I'm just going to stay in Canada, where the only thing I have to worry about is bears, wolves, lynx and the occasional moose crossing the road (the moose will fuck you up). Also the winter, but only when it drops to around -50 degrees. Thank you long underwear

Also... what the fuck is a drop bear?? Is it as scary as it sounds?

 

[TheVioletBandit]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

I read that the platypus sting is one of the most painful stings on the planet. Did you friend talk about the pain much?

 

[minka1995]

Anyone saying Australia isn't that bad is telling lies.
When I was younger I was pulling apart a dead XBOX controller, as I cracked open the casing a damn White Tail Spider jumped out of the controller at me. Horrible creatures, their bite will rot the flesh.
My dad once had a dog, it got torn to shreds by a koala.
When driving avoid wombats, they will put a big dent in the front of your car and probably totter away with a headache.

 

[A.A.K]

So...yea.
Australia.

Come. Live. Love. Stay the fuck out the bush-land.

 

[SquidVicious]

That's from the Florida Everglades, snake eating alligators.

 

[CAPTCHA]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Well then you'd have these to contend with.

 

[EvilMaggot]

yeeeeaaah... im on OP with this one.. danish hunter spiders is big enough for me.. any bigger ... hell no!