WTF Australia?!?!?!

[acer840]

Wow, I live in Cairns (where this footage was taken, therefor where this spider is). Guess I ain't sleeping tonight. Golden Orbs are nothing to be afraid of really, it's more the Black Widdows, Funnel Web and the Red/White Back spiders you have to watch out for. They are the killers. Now to go to bed while holding a can of insect killer... and a brick.

 

[Maleval]

If you think that's scary wait until you see the bug that eats that spider.

What about the single-cell predators that rip those bugs with their huge venomous pseudopods of death?

 

[Cipher1]

Having spent several weeks in the Amazon rain forest a few years ago Australian wildlife doesn't seem all that scary, seriously if someone offers you a trip into the heart of the Amazon punch them in the gut and run for it.

 

[Heronblade]

Meh, even outside of Australia, the spider in the OP isn't all that remarkable.

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by

- A mate got stung by a platypus.

They can STING you too? Holy shit, how are platypi not the dominant species of the world yet...

They have a small spur on their hind limbs. The male's version of it can deliver a dose of venom. Its strong enough to kill a small animal, but is not likely to permanently harm a person. Although the venom does cause enough pain to incapacitate.

 

[bird of hermes]

lmao, drop bears.

Jeff Hanneman from Slayer got a flesh-eating disease, I think it was called Necrotizing Fasciitis, from a spider in Australia, so I'm not too eager to go down under anytime soon.

 

[shrekfan246]

In my twenty years in this country I have been attacked by
-A king brown snake (survival tip 1-thick pants)
-A roo
-An Emu
-A cockatoo (fuckers can bite like all hell)
-Magpaies, lots of magpies.
-A saltie, (thank fuck I got behind that fence)
-All of the spiders (except white tails)
-a scorpian
-as well as a whole swathe of non-native animals
In addtion
-a frill necked lizard put my uncle in hospital
-I saw a wombat fuck up another wombat (who knew that they even fought)
-A guest got fucked up by a koala that she tried to touch (retard)
- A mate got stung by a platypus.

No wonder why they dumped prisoners there and left them for dead.

Know what's scarier than all of that? The prisoners who were dumped there and left for dead? Lived.

Also, this I feel is relevant: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.118413-The-Sydney-Funnel-Web-Unfair

Yeah, I dunno if I trust what Aussies say about their homeland. I might visit for a week or two, but I'd never be able to live there. First time I saw a huntsman sitting on my wall? I'd need new pants. And god forbid I ever woke up with one sitting on my face like some other Escapambilidandoes have said happened to them.

 

[Dastardly]

Just when I'd heard it all, just when I thought Australian wildlife couldn't get any more terrifying; fucking SNAKE-EATING SPIDER!! [http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8454494/giant-queensland-spider-devours-snake] It's a spider. And it eats snakes. What. The. FUCK.

This is why I could never go to Australia. Even knowing this was on the same land mass as me would scare the shit out of me. Hell I'm having trouble with the fact it's on the same planet as me! How the hell do you guys not go insane?!

Discussion value: The spiders. How do we destroy them?

Australia is the only place in the world where "death by natural causes" is the most terrifying option.

 

[imnot]

I think Tv tropes sums it up pretty well
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingTryingToKillYou
Scroll down there's and there's an entire section called 'Real life- Australia'

 

[The Rascal King]

Oh holy shit, Australian friends. As an American concerned with the problems of my country, I propose we throw our problems together.That's right, we lock corrupt politicians and reality show stars in a room and we can make them fight your natural dangers to the fucking death.

 

[Heronblade]

Oh holy shit, Australian friends. As an American concerned with the problems of my country, I propose we throw our problems together.That's right, we lock corrupt politicians and reality show stars in a room and we can make them fight your natural dangers to the fucking death.

Now there's a reality tv show I'd be willing to watch.

Although, we wouldn't want the producers of said reality shows, or the lawyers that beg for a chance to prey on other's misfortune to feel left out, so lets toss them in too along with a few of the larger predators from other countries. Watching a pompous blowhard running from a pack of hyenas would be quite amusing, especially if he gets away only to be felled by the tiny ass spider that clung to his slacks.

 

[Zeraki]

Big spider... must squish.

Australia: An arachnophobic's worst nightmare.

Oh holy shit, Australian friends. As an American concerned with the problems of my country, I propose we throw our problems together.That's right, we lock corrupt politicians and reality show stars in a room and we can make them fight your natural dangers to the fucking death.

Agreed

 

[FoolKiller]

I'm not going insane because I live on the other side of the planet and I challenge that spider to come survive a Canadian winter.

You know what, fuck it I'm moving to Antarctica. Let's see them get me there!

Watch out for the killer penguin queens though. They're brutal.

And I let all the spiders around here stay in my home. They kill all the other bugs for me. Hell, I've watched them catch one once or twice. They really spin the captive quickly.

 

[him over there]

Oh Australia, always making the rest of the world's wildlife flee in terror...
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Y4nXH2YsO1MDAReNcQKrJIW1JUozLTqawxRf7nw7J8Um0Rf7rw7J8VlEK514+v6JR+HoaxsMQzfSfDsnxTTZoa1/ivDsnxWVTmhMy8fX9Fo/D0NWI4ga/xPhWT4pDFEcf4nwrJ8VXyjk2P6M5rGgTWZzRMRndfbwiTpo6o7yh2KBrpXxvjje3a3v4bWuILRhQlerY/+kYV4udf0efbdyU6cPzXQ6NI/9z4Vk+Kjms8T6B30k0xHDso96zrbV9Ztl2Ota3S1u1813NRdW2wsfbhC5rI4hKI/q2hnBrppp5SuaipK7vS+vkdG3F+VS19ChpSlqp+Oy/Fd5uyqQYB82an+S0LN5Rc6CVzX2SIQBxDQWChbXAiXsq001UMltgjlnkjYx4c1u0se2rG3qF9QdLc1OVaeDGLo3SnzQwsSUlVKtfmpq2bLJASQ+bE1P+C5k/flL3c3RYlmrRag2y2eYQ2cvfJIHViZQhpwFKYJ2RZIprW4CKMxPYZCx7Gm64MqWtJzC9XvLX00HKMa73Tr5GdvJRcqblXoaXfpN3c3RYkm/OXu5uixLIWHKO2SsjdZrO5rnBpDIwx1CaEgtxCo5WsrY55Y2GrWvLW6cBo93eXKWFFRzLeq0+bjqpycsrub3fnL3c3RYkb85e7m6LEsza8ms+ivY1gE9nuOlcOycHirgfwk07yqbFQ11pZG9kb2PqHB7Q7M1xFCcy39OlOMH/L5pqY23clP7f8Auuhsd+cvdzdFiRvzl7ubosS88tsl6RxutbwiKMAa0UwwAXZscjfoEsm1Ql7JGxtcWNLqOz1wxPKucMKMpNaJ9PI3Obik9Wupqt+cvdzdFiRvyl7ubosSweSbOHyAvFY2AyyD7rBW73zQd9Wdkdka17JY2hsU0bZGgCgBpRzRzH0osJPDc9PHrYPEamoamy35S93N0WJG/KXu5uixLzVC493Tr+jp3j0rfjL3c3RYkb8Ze7m6LEvNUJ3dOv6HeNXlm1B7HkBwAheCZHRFznyWoSmjWHAYnDkWVKRCSadEipAhCFkoIQhACEIQAhCEALp5Cs9ZdsIqyJpmdqNwVa3vuoFzFZs+UZIwRHK9gJqQxxaCdeC6YclGSb5GJpuLSO9kPKrZZnROhjYJw5kjmmQklwJBN5xGfk0qHY5HtVsdG/guLZIscBeIoOmnnXEgtb4zeY9zHUpVpLTTVUIntb5Dee9z3UpVxLjQaKleiPaeFu8XXyOEsCuZK0lTzJm5MkMu1bW7bK3S0g4cp1DlV2WNlotzm3qMkmLQ4dDTzVoqTsqzObcM0hbSl0ucRTVSqrscWkOBIINQRgQRmIK5Z4Lck6VO2WTveh3GZUtVmftLi54Bptcg2xrhou6SDyKDZRCxs9I2hlWNc9gzNeRVzeTRgqUeVpmi62aQDUHOA5aY4KsSTiceXOuk8fNDJve/nyOcMGk825fjmdu3sO59kwPbJfOUbDh/FA/6cnqFc2TKczm3XTSOYcC0ucW81Kplmt8kdRHI9gOe44trTXRVY8ViwnvpGnQjwZPDlDWvU0OS8ounY+z7ZtVpxMUjaRl+uJxFO8uXkqwHb/rGupFellBGhmN085oO+ue60vLr5c4vrW8SS6ozGudWN2Z6k7fLU5zfdXDNp50ePGWVzr3eqCwXHNkpv6M7GRssNktBa6CNu33o5HNMhcb+sOcRnpoUOx6xmLKDI3DFrng95rsf71rjQ2l7HX2Pcxx+00lpxz4hTjK01S7bpb1AC686tBWgrXlPStR7Qu651rGVfIk8B95RtJU8ySz5JkmmLGtI4ZvOIN1ori4lX4YqWC0htS36Sy6aUqBpp0dK5jstTkEG0TEZiC91OUZ0xmVZmtuNmkDKUDQ5wbTVSqxHFw41onvT6mpYc5UrTc10OhZHCCzGR0YeZn3A194C4yjieCQcXXfBVl7vpViddjDHWd4c1rLxFx/ZUvEnPj3lxJcoyPaGOle5gpRrnEtwzYFLZ8pyxi6yWRja1o1zmip00BVjjxXd/jSnL5feSWE3v51r88txWKRKSkXjPSCEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQAhCEBdyZbhE5xIJ4PBpoeCHMd3nAedX5sqxvABhJYHXgKAZzG5wDs4qRJ4Q73DXSyblXagAS4jbWPug8GjQ6opXSSOhdYTpuOco8+ZaOU4LzfqBdoa8FlSSW0NK0zBwp96udR5OygxrSx4dddJUj7NCW5yDUgAZiHclDiliyjCRQwtBLmkuLRdpRl44YjM/AD7XImWfKrGONI+Dt7ZGimIa0EaCOFiPOt5udV6Gcu6lH6k8WU4WvB2s4PvBwa3QWYhlaDBrh3651G7KEN1oEAvXQHEta7Swu041uvxz8Kia7KMN1oENSGUqQ0VdQUrTOOz6RqTZspR7Y50cVGmJzLpAAqSaVodAoK8iOXivQij4P1HxZRiZLI8REtcAy7gwBpH1lAM1aUA1E4prrbFce3aeFca1jrrQahlC40OBvVdXGuZSvytC6l6HhXmkkBpwDQNJ5KUzU5VLJl6LM2Ihua6WsIxcCRTVnw5VarVeg36P1IDlJhbG1zXENFMQC1vAug3SbrsaHM3NjU4ojyoxrJWBjgHPkLWjNR7QGit6mFNIPJTOmWXKjGRyMuu4TnkAZqPYGgVvaOYqV+VYLzbsIu14VWMJIAfTCvK3VW6onzqVrlQbbZ4Xxm7Rjy8uAu8IAbYaF3LVnNRccp9oeC5xaKNLiWg0qBXAYKNcZOp0iqAhCFk0CEIQAhCEAIQhACEqRACEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQAhCEAIQhACEIQArMG104d6tTm1aEiFGVMmrFqJ6dRx9HQkdtP3tP/X98yVCmU1m8BjRFpLtGbz+5RTXai5WlMa6/7ohCqRGz/9k=

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

The only good bug is a dead bug. Would you like to know more?

why yes, yes i would like to.


OT: that is...;asjkfd;sajdf;lsda.fuck spiders. fuck snakes. I am going to invent a heat seaking agent orange flamethrower to kill em all.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

..And yet another reason why I shall never, ever enter the vicinity of Australia without a lot of really effective smashing tools within reach at all times. Everywhere.

Australia's wildlife really hates arachnophobes such as myself..

If spiders were not useful to the ecosystem, I would torch every last one of them. I swear it..

:/

 

[.No.]

may i point out that bears do not normally eat or attack people unless provoked, are big and fuzzy, and when young they look like this:

that and they dont lay icky ass bug eggs, eat their mother when born, are mammals, lack exoskeleton, eat plants as much as meat, and are the inspiration to teddy bears.
id rather have my 5 year old around a bear cub than around a god damn spider that could eat it.

Shit man, that bear looks like it has murderous intent. It looks like it's about to commit a crime most foul.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

So we now have snake eating spiders on are hands. Thankfully natures already got our back. We just need to introduce some tarantula hawks to Australia and the giant spiders won't be a problem anymore.

Yes, New Vegas players. They're real!

 

[Mazza35]

It's not like you will walk down the street in a city and be attacked by are fucking deadly wildlife.
It kills you when stupid tourists wonder into our Forests n shit
Or the desert, then again, you will probably die of dehydration before something poisons you.

To the point, Australia is fucking awesome, if you hate snake/bird eating spiders, don't go outside the suburbs

 

[SEXTON HALE]

All cracked ever did for me is give me a deeper understanding on the complexity that is vegemite.

 

[android88]

The same way we do with the other billion weird and dangerous wildlife in Australia, don't think about it.

that may work until you fall asleep and the little fuckers have laid eggs in your eyes and the mother is literally eating out you ass hole while you scream but its too late and the eggs hatched, went through your brain, shat, and another mother is makeing its way leg first through your mouth from your stomach with the nasty-est taste imaginable and a mother fucking WETA crawls out from behind your eye!!!!


OH DEAR JESUS I CAN TOUCH THE FLOOR ANYMORE!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS FUCKING LAVA!!!!!

doesn't work that way. Most of these big scary spiders don't go near towns as they are just as afraid of us as we are of them. If anything our most dangerous spider is the red back and that is quite small.