Yahtzee Wrote a Book

[OANST]

These are by no means all of my complaints. These are just the complaints that I pulled out of the first ten sentences. I have no intention of dissecting more of it. And it was a little weird to call a sign flamboyant to begin with. Especially so if you don't intend to add two or three words explaining the flamboyance.

Well, the only problem I could have with it is that it made me think of a neon sign, and that doesn't fit the fantasy world.

But don't you see that this is the problem with that particular line? We have no idea what he means by it. That's not good writing.

 

[MrSpectabular]

The sun was making exaggerated.... Flowery language to attempt to show how clever he is without any actual substance.

It is colorful language, but I don't feel that he's attempting at being clever, it's a creative way of saying it's getting late.

Oh here's an awesome thing:

http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm

tl;dr version: A better way of saying it's getting late would have been, shockingly, 'it's getting late'.

(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

(ii) Never us a long word where a short one will do.

(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.

(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

Writing it in some over the top convoluted way like that just because you think it shows the reader how clever and creative you are is generally the wrong road to be going down unless you're spectacularly masterful at it. You're writing the book to convey your story, characters and world to the reader, not to impress them with flowery ways of describing things.

What does using that phrase actually accomplish? Does it convey any particular image of HOW the sun is setting? Or is it just setting exactly like a sun sets? No image is conveyed, no insight is gained, it's just pointless fluff that makes reading the book take a little longer and doesn't help the reader get a clearer image of what's happening in the story at all.

This is basically amateur writer mistake #1 and shows a complete misunderstanding of the entire concept of good writing.

Despite the liking ZP comment, otherwise I'm 100% behind OANST and consider him 100% correct in this thread. Not just me who thinks so, GEORGE ORWELL agrees. ;D

 

[Venatio]

Okay, Sally. I'll validate you. You caught me. I'm a bad person and a big meanie-pants who hurt your feelings and said bad things about your favorite troll. I happen to be right, but that's besides the point. I feel terrible for the way that I've said completely true things about this guy that you don't know's writing abilities. In the future if I have nothing nice to say then I won't say anything at all.

Cute, little prick like you thinks he's something. Gone from the astute critic to the slinking away troll muffin? What, have I cramped your style or is it that you never had one to begin with?

 

[OANST]

Okay, Sally. I'll validate you. You caught me. I'm a bad person and a big meanie-pants who hurt your feelings and said bad things about your favorite troll. I happen to be right, but that's besides the point. I feel terrible for the way that I've said completely true things about this guy that you don't know's writing abilities. In the future if I have nothing nice to say then I won't say anything at all.

Cute, little prick like you thinks he's something. Gone from the astute critic to the slinking away troll muffin? What, have I cramped your style or is it that you never had one to begin with?

No. I was just mocking you. Slow on the uptake, eh?

 

[MrSpectabular]

Cute, little prick like you thinks he's something. Gone from the astute critic to the slinking away troll muffin? What, have I cramped your style or is it that you never had one to begin with?

Amazing. With your deft grasp of irony I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

 

[Venatio]

No. I was just mocking you. Slow on the uptake, eh?

Either keep this civil or dont respond because a troll ike you is not worth my time.

 

[MrSpectabular]

No. I was just mocking you. Slow on the uptake, eh?

Oh no, I just think that your an abolsute failure at everything. Either keep this civil or dont respond because a troll ike you is not worth my time.

Amazing. With your deft grasp of irony I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

 

[Venatio]

Cute, little prick like you thinks he's something. Gone from the astute critic to the slinking away troll muffin? What, have I cramped your style or is it that you never had one to begin with?

Amazing. With your deft grasp of irony I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

Haha, very funny.

You'll note my grasp of sarcasm which, according to you, might also make me fond of Yahtzee.

Did you just double post?

 

[OANST]

No. I was just mocking you. Slow on the uptake, eh?

Oh no, I just think that your an abolsute failure at everything. Either keep this civil or dont respond because a troll ike you is not worth my time.

Apparently not as you keep responding. Anyway, it was you that started with the insults, but don't worry. I won't mention that you're a hypocrite who throws a tantrum if other people say bad things about stuff that you like.

 

[MrSpectabular]

Haha, very funny.

You'll note my grasp of sarcasm which.

Very creative and witty use of sarcasm too. I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

 

[martin's a madman]

And you can pre-order it at Amazon and Amazon dot co dot UK.

 

[OANST]

And you can pre-order it at Amazon and Amazon dot co dot UK.

Where?

 

[MrSpectabular]

Did you just double post?

Oh this is too much. I suddenly understand why Yahtzee is so popular.

With your deft grasp of repetition used for humour I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

 

[Chebs]

I'm going to ... I think fifth the request for an audiobook version read by Yahtzee. One less thing for my daughter to rip up in her quest to destroy all non-board books.

 

[martin's a madman]

And you can pre-order it at Amazon and Amazon dot co dot UK.

Where?

Haha, I was referencing the little messages he places after his Zero Punctuation videos. Amazon is a website where things can be purchased. (I think)

 

[OANST]

And you can pre-order it at Amazon and Amazon dot co dot UK.

Where?

Haha, I was referencing the little messages he places after his Zero Punctuation videos. Amazon is a website where things can be purchased. (I think)

I know. I was trying to give you the opportunity to say it again.

 

[martin's a madman]

And you can pre-order it at Amazon and Amazon dot co dot UK.

Where?

Haha, I was referencing the little messages he places after his Zero Punctuation videos. Amazon is a website where things can be purchased. (I think)

I know. I was trying to give you the opportunity to say it again.

Well I feel stupid.

 

[Venatio]

Did you just double post?

Oh this is too much. I suddenly understand why Yahtzee is so popular.

With your deft grasp of repetition used for humour I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

I am being insulted by a forum noob - lovely.

 

[OANST]

Did you just double post?

Oh this is too much. I suddenly understand why Yahtzee is so popular.

With your deft grasp of repetition used for humour I can understand why you're so fond of Yahtzee.

I am being insulted by a forum noob - lovely.

No one more deserving.

 

[MrSpectabular]

I am being insulted by a forum noob - lovely.

I am genuinely sorry. We fall on opposite sides of the battlefield, purely because you like Yahtzee, and I have so much untempered hate for him it automatically makes me judge everyone who likes him, perhaps it's snobbish to do so, sure, but I judge all the same.

I'm sure you're lovely, really.

But you must appreciate how for someone coming here looking for validation as to why this man of questionable talent can be so popular, and then have one of his most vocal defenders misunderstand about 5 jokes in quick succession and miss out on some pretty blatant irony somewhat validates my opinion a little?