You are a gladiator

[The Funslinger]

Long story short, you're fighting to the death in 1v1 matches for the entertainment of others.

Pick your primary weapon, your secondary (or offhand if they're both one handed and you want to dual wield), your stage name, and your entrance theme. You may also choose to have a shield. Ranged weapons must be thrown.

For me, I'd go for a somewhat short arming sword, with a light shield. My secondary weapon would be a kukri.

My stage name would be either the Captain, or 'Crow' to match my theme, which would be:

 

[TheFunPolice]

I'd charge out those gates butt-naked, wielding nothing but a bottle of J2o and a rabid badger duct-taped to a stick with Chelsea Dagger playing in the background while the crowd screams CAPTAIN FABULOUS

 

[smearyllama]

Name would be Zebediah The Great, in honor of my avatar.

Primary weapon would be The Penetrator from Saint's Row 3.
Anyone standing against me would either collapse laughing or stare in shock, helpless as I beat them to death with a penis bat.

Spoiler: NSFW

Secondary would be something vaguely useful. Like a longsword or something. Boring, but effective.

Entrance them would be Kanye West's Power.
Badass and it matches my primary weapon.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I wouldn't care about anything except saying, My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Northern armies of Phonix and servant to the TRUE emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son... husband to a murdered wife... and I will have my revenge, in this life or the next.

 

[Kae]

Primary weapon would be The Penetrator from Saint's Row 3.
Anyone standing against me would either collapse laughing or stare in shock, helpless as I beat them to death with a penis bat.
Am I allowed to insert a picture of that, perchance? I'm not sure if it violates the forum rules or not.

I'm pretty sure you can, Jim Sterling used it in his videos and I'm sure it's not the only phallic image that has shown up in the site's content, you may want to spoiler it as NSFW or something though.

OT: I guess I would go without a weapon and normal clothing as armour, OK maybe I'd have a pocket knife as a secondary weapon, I wouldn't have an alias because I can never think of one, I'd just get whatever the people decide to call me, like in the movie gladiator give the name Spaniard to Maximus, despite the fact that he's not from Spain, but that's the name they gave him *shugs* whatever.
As for my theme song I doubt I'd have one, eh I guess I'm just too indifferent to choose anything, really I wasn't going to post, I'm only adding this because I had already posted and I felt that now I had to contribute.

 

[Euryalus]

I would choose the gladius short sword as my primary weapon because, while its not very flashy or impressive, it gets the job done like you wouldn't believe. I would also have a shield with me similar to something found on the greek hoplites or in Skyrim.

As for my stage name? *shrugs* Toad of Truth?

I think I'll choose this as my theme song for now, but I'll probably want to change my mind as soon as I post, so consider it a tenative choice XD

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Primary Weapon: A weeping Angel.
Secondary weapon: A can of mace.

Try not to blink now!

Music: Requiem for a dream
Stagename: Bob the Divine

 

[Quaxar]

I'll only fight to Pinkie Pie's Smile Song with a party cannon and a pet alligator as weapons. I don't care about a stage name, they're only going to call me weirdo anyway. But at least I'm fabulous!

a rabid badger duct-taped to a stick

Ah, the good old Franklinator.
<youtube=vy43iZCPeLI>

 

[Thaluikhain]

I would choose the gladius short sword as my primary weapon because, while its not very flashy or impressive, it gets the job done like you wouldn't believe.

I was going to say that. You're kind of obliged to as a gladiator anyway.

 

[Cette]

<youtube=I4E08zeCqjo>

I would be wielding a war hammer and have a targe strapped to my off arm. A bowie knife as my secondary in case things got really up close and personal.


I will go by the name Gas Station Mario.

 

[Euryalus]

I would choose the gladius short sword as my primary weapon because, while its not very flashy or impressive, it gets the job done like you wouldn't believe.

I was going to say that. You're kind of obliged to as a gladiator anyway.

You could be a retiarus XD

They had a trident and a fishing net as their weaponry. The trollingest warriors ever XD

 

[Thaluikhain]

I would choose the gladius short sword as my primary weapon because, while its not very flashy or impressive, it gets the job done like you wouldn't believe.

I was going to say that. You're kind of obliged to as a gladiator anyway.

You could be a retiarus XD

They had a trident and a fishing net as their weaponry. The trollingest warriors ever XD

I meant in that the word "Gladiator" comes from "Gladius", it technically meant "swordsman" or somesuch back in the day.

 

[TheFunPolice]

a rabid badger duct-taped to a stick

Ah, the good old Franklinator.
<youtube=vy43iZCPeLI>

GODDAMN IT. FUCKING FUTURAMA, MAKING MY POSTS ALL UNORIGINAL AND SHIT

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Name: Taco the Tasty

Weapon(s): Probably a sledgehammer with nails on the end

Song:

 

[Wyes]

This thread is incredibly silly. On that note...

Stage name: Dan, because it's my name and it's just easier that way

Primary: Good ol' spear and a round shield [http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/038/3/d/Viking_Round_Shield_I_by_hollow_reenact.jpg] (this was the closest to an image of a well made one I could find), because this has been a winning combination for a long, long time.

Secondary: A trusty schiavona [http://www.darkwoodarmory.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2_6&products_id=167] (only sharp, I don't know anybody that makes sharp versions of these, so...).

Mostly the above is due to familiarity - why would I use some exotic combination that I don't know how to use?

 

[Rawne1980]

And I shall win for my name shall be .... BOB.

And I shall have THIS weapon of doom....


FEAH MAH POWAH

 

[SckizoBoy]

My name: 'Fatso'[footnote]'cos I'm 'really' fat and all... not... ¬_¬[/footnote]

Weapons: a dory and parma (secondary being a one-handed bearded axe)

Theme: anything on the banjo... >_> ...

 

[smearyllama]

A bowie knife

Or just Bowie.

A weapon in and of himself.

 

[Cette]

A bowie knife

Or just Bowie.

A weapon in and of himself.

That's starting to sound like a whole different kind of close encounter.

 

[bastardofmelbourne]

primary weapon: a giant robot

secondary weapon: a giant robot

name: King Awesome Giant Death Robot IV

if we're not allowed to fight in giant robots i don't wanna fight