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Folksoul

New member
May 15, 2010
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Disproportionate and extremely petty revenge schemes against the people who were mean to me in high school.

You called me a name?! BURN FOR IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 

Zarincos

New member
Mar 2, 2011
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First of all I'd do anything in my power to stay in office as long as possible, and, shortly after that make Stephen Colbert my secretary of state and Jon Stewart my VP. After those, I'd start publicly disgracing any elected official caught taking bribes or otherwise screwing with the rules for personal gain (Congressman Rangel, looking at you [for those not in the US or didn't hear about it, he was convicted of 11 ethics violations and got re-elected with something like 70% of the vote, and his only punishment was a verbal reprimand]), and cut everything but the necessities from the budget. Take money from the arts (some, at least) and give it to either the colleges to lower their tuition or the sciences for cutting-edge research. Not to mention repeal Obamacare, promote nuclear power, and maybe work on the tax laws some. If I actually got all that accomplished the rest of the problems would probably sort themselves out in time, so I'd probably start trying to screw with the media in some way, just for kicks.
 

BENZOOKA

This is the most wittiest title
Oct 26, 2009
3,919
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Kris015 said:
BENZOOKA said:
The president? She has very little power and even that little power continues to diminish.

I'd chillax.
Finland has a president? I did NOT know that..
Yes, but for many years it has been the prime minister who appears to be the most powerful single person.

Did you assume we had a monarchy or what?


the president has been quite forgotten especially on the political field. The most notable occasion in recent years was when people realized how much Conan O'Brien looks like Tarja Halonen, which was then brought up by Conan himself quite often in his show.
http://www.heyrichie.com/uploaded_images/conantarja.jpg


And our former president, Martti Ahtisaari, won the Nobel Peace prize in 2008, very deservedly.
 

DracoSuave

New member
Jan 26, 2009
1,685
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Make sure that 'Freedom of Religion' in our constitution also includes 'Freedom From Religion' thusly taking religious arguments out of governmental debate, taking the government out of the bedroom and into regulating things that actually are important for the administration of a country.

Ensure that laws that are designed to protect citizens from predation are strictly enforced, but that 'vice' laws become unenforced and deprecated. If it's not killing my people, legalize it, slap a luxury tax on it, use the money to fund programs to get people off the streets, giving them a home so they can have dignity and actually be able to 'get a job' like so many people seem to think homeless people can easily do without exploitation.

Increase science and education programs, as well as other academic studies so that we can be proud as a country for what we can accomplish as people.

Allow adults to live their lives with true responsible freedom, not the 'freedom' that comes from curtailed rights and a moral minority preaching 'god says you can't' as law.

Teach creationism in Comparative Religion classes where it belongs, rather than in science classes where it simply does not, as well as educate on what a science is, and why science is about hunting answers, not having answers.
 

Eisenfaust

Two horses in a man costume
Apr 20, 2009
679
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SERIOUSLY overhaul security... lets make sure no one gets close enough to stab the new leader
 

Triaed

Not Gone Gonzo
Jan 16, 2009
454
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Make stabbing the president (or whatever the leader of my country is) illegal! :)

OT throw in some holidays in the March-July stretch!
 

Blindswordmaster

New member
Dec 28, 2009
3,145
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First I would create an affordable-government run healthcare program for people who can't afford it. Then I would reform malpractice insurance, so that doctors are only liable in clear cases of incompetence and extreme negligence. I would also reform the court system to avoid frivolous lawsuits. Then I'd legalize pot and institute a rehabilitation for drug addicts, because prison doesn't do it. I've got a lot of these, so here's a list:
Credit and bank regulation
A larger police force
Lift of several anti-smoking laws
Legalize gay marriage and adoption
Mandatory gun registration
Term limits for congressmen and severance reform
Allow oil drilling in Alaska and off the coast of Florida
Wildlife protection
Funding to alternative energy and stem-cell research
Reduce drinking age to 18
More funding to schools and better pay for teachers
Better benefits and pay for military
 

zelda2fanboy

New member
Oct 6, 2009
2,172
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Bang the first lady! Then I'd pull out...... of every military occupation the US has going on right now. (By the way, this post does not advocate any sort of act of violence against our president, any politician, person, or living thing. Just peace and sweet love making. I'd also disband the TSA and the Department of Homeland Security. I'd probably rethink healthcare reform and I'd legalize all drugs. And make all immigration legal, via handing out social security numbers and Wal-Mart gift cards at the border. Also, a $500 incentive for taking our newly built high speed train to Canada. And I'd tax churches, which have been getting a free ride for far too long.)
 

ScipioAmericanus

New member
Mar 16, 2011
43
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Grouchy Imp said:
Seriously: Introduce a radical overhaul of the civil service, cutting bureaucratic redtape and freeing up billions to help ease the burden on our struggling economy.
Good luck with that... seriously, good luck with that!

ReservoirAngel said:
Assuming I take control of my own country, I would first secretly blackmail the Queen into dissolving parliament so I can do whatever I want.

Next, the banishment of all works by Stephanie Meyer. If anyone is caught reading one of these forbidden items, they are sentenced to 3 days confined to a room listening to "Friday" on a continuous loop.

Then there'd be the renaming of the country to "New Atlantis" and a subsequent change of the flag. The destruction of 10 Downing Street and the building of my off-shore base (containing not only an office but full entertainment facilities such a build-in cinema, tennis courts etc).

And finally there'd be sinking all the money that is currently being spent on things I deem to be worthless into the development of a manditory drug that will perform two functions:

1) Make everybody bisexual
2) Make them forget ever having taken the drug in the first place
ALL HAIL BRITANNIA!!

OT: Exile the entire Royal Family and use the subsequent mountain of money that's saved to bankroll the recovery of the UK economy. Then introduce the sport of banker-hunting, no firearms allowed, only blades and blunts!
 

drisky

New member
Mar 16, 2009
1,605
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funguy2121 said:


Yes, I totally stole the idea from MovieBob.
By which you mean stole the idea from Bad Dudes, he was making a reference not thinking up the idea. There really is a game when you have to prove your a bad enough dude to rescue the president. I know I'm not, its too hard, but if you when you get to have a beer with him.
 

cp2u

New member
Jul 28, 2009
88
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Hire tons of security in case someone tries to stab me and become president in the same way.
 

emeraldrafael

New member
Jul 17, 2010
8,585
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Initiate a program to ACTUALLY get the US off foreign aid, and bring things back here.

Assuming I have unlimited power, I take away the power of the Union (or at least some of them) so that its easier to do.
 

funguy2121

New member
Oct 20, 2009
3,407
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drisky said:
funguy2121 said:


Yes, I totally stole the idea from MovieBob.
By which you mean stole the idea from Bad Dudes, he was making a reference not thinking up the idea. There really is a game when you have to prove your a bad enough dude to rescue the president. I know I'm not, its too hard, but if you when you get to have a beer with him.
Yes, I am aware of the simulacrum. I did a google image search for "bad dudes president."

Keep the NES love alive!
 

MrShowerHead

New member
Jun 28, 2010
1,198
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Daystar Clarion said:
What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants.
Hmm...*sniff* I smell a story behind this post.....
 

beniki

New member
May 28, 2009
745
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Pour as much money as possible into a new space program.

Seriously, I'd cut benefits and welfare, slash budgets across the whole country, and plug everything into space exploration.

My goals would be Mars within 10 years, and Venus in 20. I'd have operational space station relay points set up in gravitationally null points in the solar system, and a resource hauling fleet well in place.

Anything, and I mean anything, to get people thinking about leaving this rock again.
 

Tibs

New member
Mar 23, 2011
273
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All male men must grow a beard. If any man is incapable of that then he must get surgery to place his head hair onto his face. Furthermore, any person caught shaving will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. After I have made my country all beared and under-shaven monsters I will resign from the presidency and move to a proper country to make fun of my old country.