You are now the leader

[Fetzenfisch]

Ban Organized religion

become the head of the only organized religion
All Hail the God Emprah!

Spoiler: yeah thats me

 

[SamElliot'sMustache]

Oh, and all men must have a suitable moustache!

Might I make the suggestion of my avatar as the criteria?

 

[4173]

Parliamentary reform. Vote for the individual representatives, then each party picks one of the elected as leader.

I don't know that it would improve things, but it might.

 

[squiggothhunter]

Administer a "flu" vaccine to everyone. EVERYONE. Then release a biochemical weapon. And without a single bullet I will have the united states of earth, tons of resources, and a whole lot of women making me sammiches

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Assuming I take control of my own country, I would first secretly blackmail the Queen into dissolving parliament so I can do whatever I want.

Next, the banishment of all works by Stephanie Meyer. If anyone is caught reading one of these forbidden items, they are sentenced to 3 days confined to a room listening to "Friday" on a continuous loop.

Then there'd be the renaming of the country to "New Atlantis" and a subsequent change of the flag. The destruction of 10 Downing Street and the building of my off-shore base (containing not only an office but full entertainment facilities such a build-in cinema, tennis courts etc).

And finally there'd be sinking all the money that is currently being spent on things I deem to be worthless into the development of a manditory drug that will perform two functions:

1) Make everybody bisexual
2) Make them forget ever having taken the drug in the first place

What the hell do you accomplish by making people bisexual?? :S

Two things:

1) It effectively stops all form of bullying based on sexual orientation. You aint gonna bully someone for being bi when you are yourself.
2) Never again will "i bet he's straight" have to enter any guy's head when checking some guy out, cause you know he's into guys

 

[SilentCom]

I would resign. Being the president of the U.S. is too much responsibility for me.

 

[Lionsfan1986]

I change the National Athem to Hulk Hogan's entrance music (And I mean from the old WWF and not from WCW or TNA) and then I would make national Hot chicks makeout with President day!!

 

[NeoShinGundam]

I would give every woman in the nation a free boob-job! ^_^

 

[Griffolion]

Assemble a harem of attractive women who can also cook fantastically.

There is only one: Nigella Lawson.

 

[binvjoh]

Reform the immigration policies.

On a more important note I'd invest in a polar bear riding cavalry for invading various countries throughout Europe.

 

[Wynn Donivan]

My first act is to blow the shit out of Mount Rushmore.
Conceived by a KKK member as a colossal "fuck you" to the Lakota, that damned thing has been a stain on the legacies of four of our greatest presidents for long enough.

 

[TheLiham]

I would stab David Cameron if he came out of Obamas arse for a second ¬¬
Anyways I would probably legalise marijuana

For teh lulz!

 

[minty81]

Eliminate Congress and set myself up as a dictator. Initiate military, education and healthcare reforms. Legalize marijuana and annex Canada.

 

[kane.malakos]

Tax the rich.

 

[iLikeHippos]

There would be some.. radical changes.
That's pretty much all I can say about it.
I would probably take a month just thinking it through exactly what I'd need to change.
Sorta.

Snippeth

I suppose we'll just have to share presidency then!
But why not Polar bears? I mean, they come over here so we have to fight them everyday anyway ;o
That's way more realistic than trying to make Hippos satisfied here!

Well, now that I think of it, there are lots of awesome types of animals out there.

I'm tied to either hippos, polar bears (polar bears are awesome in so many ways, agreed. [http://theoatmeal.com/comics/polar_bear]) or honey badgers (honey badgers don't take shit from anyone. If they are poisoned, they'll just doze it off and be completely fine afterwards. If they meet with even a polar bear, they'll still charge furiously.)

... I guess the pre-first order of business for me will be to roll a dice.

 

[Huttser]

Fix the freakin' DMV!

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

1:Most drugs are legal
2:Everyone gets a bagel every second Thursday of the month, but only if they ask, if they complain they get arrested and also if the person who gives them the bagel puts on too much cream cheese they are also arrested.
3:My country will work on the barter system
4ublic drunkeness and lewdness are stricken from laws and encouraged
5:We're invading Denmark
6:Your place in society will be deemed by your hat, at the top it shall be a custom made hat for the leader, the top hats, bowler hats, fedoras, snap brims, baseball caps, gangsta hats, visors and then bandanas.
7:Anyone who enjoys the music of Rebbeca Black/Justin Bieber as I am convinced they are the same person shall be executed without trial by being set adrift (I would be Archduke of Canada)
8:Criminals would be subject to punishment by gameshow where every prisoner is launched out of a catapult where they must manouever themselves over a brick wall, a lake full of dieseased, stagnant water filled with leeches, alligators, sharks, deadly fish, poisonous snakes, squid, electric eels and a Kracken and a field full of Cacti and Razorblades covered in lemon juice and salt and then walk through a minefield...into Alaska.
9:The cake shall be declared a lie.
10:Montreal will be partially sunk and made into Venice.
11:My second in command is William Shatner.
12:We're invading the states and taking their warmth.
13outine, maple syrup and bacon must be consumed at least once a week.
14ie...that is all