You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?
- Thread starter CulixCupric
- Start date
I order the inventor of escort missions to be stoned to death with xbox controllers.
The guys at Ubisoft Montreal who came up with Full Synchronization for AC Brotherhood only get 50% of their wages for any week during which anyone encounters a gameplay-affecting bug in the game.
The Salvation Army will deliver its entire national supply of donated clothing to Tarn Adam's residence every week and scatter it around the premises.
The Bioware managers who designed the probe gameplay for Mass Effect will be sent to Mars with a rover, metal detector, life support, and enough fuel to take them there; the fuel for the return trip will be sent to them once they've located and secured 50 tons of platinum.
The population of the world will be injected with one of two different viruses. Virus A is perfectly symptomless, and given to the FarCry2 team. Virus B is given to everyone else and is also perfectly symptomless, unless a carrier of Virus B sees a carrier of Virus A outside the Ubisoft headquarters, at which point they try to kill the A carrier, regardless of any previously or currently existing friendship, relationship, etc. between them.
Aperture Science will be incorporated as a real company, whose first contract will be to genetically engineer a human matching the description and personality of Cave Johnson, and to build GLaDOS. After that, they will be contracted to create a spacetime bubble around Valve headquarters that causes 10 days to pass on the inside for every minute that passes on the outside.
The guys at Ubisoft Montreal who came up with Full Synchronization for AC Brotherhood only get 50% of their wages for any week during which anyone encounters a gameplay-affecting bug in the game.
The Salvation Army will deliver its entire national supply of donated clothing to Tarn Adam's residence every week and scatter it around the premises.
The Bioware managers who designed the probe gameplay for Mass Effect will be sent to Mars with a rover, metal detector, life support, and enough fuel to take them there; the fuel for the return trip will be sent to them once they've located and secured 50 tons of platinum.
The population of the world will be injected with one of two different viruses. Virus A is perfectly symptomless, and given to the FarCry2 team. Virus B is given to everyone else and is also perfectly symptomless, unless a carrier of Virus B sees a carrier of Virus A outside the Ubisoft headquarters, at which point they try to kill the A carrier, regardless of any previously or currently existing friendship, relationship, etc. between them.
Aperture Science will be incorporated as a real company, whose first contract will be to genetically engineer a human matching the description and personality of Cave Johnson, and to build GLaDOS. After that, they will be contracted to create a spacetime bubble around Valve headquarters that causes 10 days to pass on the inside for every minute that passes on the outside.
Refer to this list and implement it immediately
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Then force all the world's scientists to perfect FTL travel and then spread my empire among the galaxy.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList
Then force all the world's scientists to perfect FTL travel and then spread my empire among the galaxy.
Thank you, minion -- in fact, I hereby appoint you the colonel of this operation, Colonel. It will be your duty to distribute eyepatches and fedoras worldwide. Worldwide. I'm not half-assing this.Colonel Joson said:
Now: pirate, or noir detective?
Yay promotion! I choose Noir detective! *dons coat and hat* Well, I'm off to spread the Noir word, I shall return soon!Captain Booyah said:
Yeah, I know. But if you're going to wipe out japan, you might as well go with most of the rest of asia, since they mostly share the same interests as japan. You'd want to save china of course. After all, they'd be a great work force for early on in your campaign.oZode said:
First I'd grow a unique moustache or beard, it's something that dictators need. I'd then build myself a fortress of doom complete with tesla cannons ready to vaporize my foes. Next, all adult religious fundamentalists, hard criminals and Rupert Murdoch are sent to workcamps, the kids of the fundamentalists are sent to re-education camps. Next, I'd firebomb New Jersey because of that show that celebrates stupidity, and build a giant statue of myself there. I'd re-invest in space technology in hopes of gaining resources from other planets. I'd also invest in alternative energy sources. My last idea is preventing ungodly stupid people from breeding.
Oh, and I'd also ban My Little Pony...
Oh, and I'd also ban My Little Pony...
well the first thing i'd do is have a death ray built into my penis. that way when some do good hero shows up, kicks my minions asses and has me in a choke hold i can vaporize his ass. and its in the dick because its the last place a wholesome do gooder would look.
1. Get a PR team to get me a better name, plus limit my own power to only fit the preamiters of my plans (power corrupts..._
2. Get a room of economists and have them start to work on how to make economic reform to make the world as close to Lazza-faire as possible.
3. Rewrite some constitutions/have supreme courts appeal laws so that people have more rights (right to economic freedom, right to marriage for same sex, right to have guns/bear arms, absolute freedom of speech etc.) and force governments to make some big cuts to balance the budgets and decrease the size of governments. Also make more nations take up the alternate vote and none being single party states.
4. Kill the leaders of really authoritarian regeimes (I think South Korea will be glad it will be just "Korea" to the rest of the world finally).
5. Talk to the economists and see what they have come up with.
6. Try their reforms out in a few nations (with widely different for a month, see what happens.
7. If successful, implement elsewhere, if not, get a new team and make them try again.
8. Repeat last two steps till I get results.
9. Disown my powers and go back to College, try to make money on book deals and TV appearances to fund my insane business ideas.
2. Get a room of economists and have them start to work on how to make economic reform to make the world as close to Lazza-faire as possible.
3. Rewrite some constitutions/have supreme courts appeal laws so that people have more rights (right to economic freedom, right to marriage for same sex, right to have guns/bear arms, absolute freedom of speech etc.) and force governments to make some big cuts to balance the budgets and decrease the size of governments. Also make more nations take up the alternate vote and none being single party states.
4. Kill the leaders of really authoritarian regeimes (I think South Korea will be glad it will be just "Korea" to the rest of the world finally).
5. Talk to the economists and see what they have come up with.
6. Try their reforms out in a few nations (with widely different for a month, see what happens.
7. If successful, implement elsewhere, if not, get a new team and make them try again.
8. Repeat last two steps till I get results.
9. Disown my powers and go back to College, try to make money on book deals and TV appearances to fund my insane business ideas.
ah very good,
Step 1: End World Poverty by making the poloticians ect actually do something.
Step 2: Employ the Unemployed and get them to build my giant flying Aircraft Carrier and sky fortress, and then as my Highly paid servants
Step 3: World peace - BY ARMED FORCE
Step 4: find a nice girl and settle down.
Step 5: Prepare my Son to rule a just world for all
Step 1: End World Poverty by making the poloticians ect actually do something.
Step 2: Employ the Unemployed and get them to build my giant flying Aircraft Carrier and sky fortress, and then as my Highly paid servants
Step 3: World peace - BY ARMED FORCE
Step 4: find a nice girl and settle down.
Step 5: Prepare my Son to rule a just world for all
Evil Overlord you say? Excellent....
First things first, it is time to shake a few things up. Countries that constantly threaten to wage war on everyone (You know who they are) Will be getting a very mean beatdown. As in, those who support such behaviors are to be made to dance by being shot at, and then made to stop dancing by being shot purposefully.
Then, it is time to start letting these banks fail, getting these horribly glitchy games to actually have to PASS a playtesting phase where if things will get stuck, lag out, or just flat out break from ordinary gameplaying is just unacceptable, and WILL need to be fixed.
Then, I want to impose rules regarding rehashing/remaking/rereleasing. This cheap and easy remaking of things that we have enjoyed through the years is a lot of crap, and if you are going to rerelease something, I am expecting a significant reason to do so! Graphics overhaul, new parts and explanations, new translations and fixing. Something actually WORTH the rerelease, and not just adding in two or three lines, or just to make more stuffs.
First things first, it is time to shake a few things up. Countries that constantly threaten to wage war on everyone (You know who they are) Will be getting a very mean beatdown. As in, those who support such behaviors are to be made to dance by being shot at, and then made to stop dancing by being shot purposefully.
Then, it is time to start letting these banks fail, getting these horribly glitchy games to actually have to PASS a playtesting phase where if things will get stuck, lag out, or just flat out break from ordinary gameplaying is just unacceptable, and WILL need to be fixed.
Then, I want to impose rules regarding rehashing/remaking/rereleasing. This cheap and easy remaking of things that we have enjoyed through the years is a lot of crap, and if you are going to rerelease something, I am expecting a significant reason to do so! Graphics overhaul, new parts and explanations, new translations and fixing. Something actually WORTH the rerelease, and not just adding in two or three lines, or just to make more stuffs.
A few slight problems with your plans...oZode said:
Nuking the leader in world wide robotics and cutting off your main source of fuel isn't the best idea if your going to conquer the galaxy. With the third biggest nation in terms of GDP, and one of the world's biggest businesses destoryed (plus the one providing the energy to do anything) will make sure you don't HAVE a budget to spend, or have to print money to keep things running.
Also, the Anime fans will rebell and overthrow you with Light plushies.
Hmm... You do have a point, but I will probably still destroy japan and anime fans would just get killed by all the UAVs that are predator drones (made in america mind you) armed with lasers if they even try, since I will have those mass produced flying all over the place to hunt down and kill anyone who commits crimes, which does indeed include treason. The bots I am thinking of are mostly military-type bots that are remote controlled, and america has tons of those.Not G. Ivingname said:
However, I would still have police, soldiers and riot control (with possibly some genetically augmented super soldiers) being used encase any possible uprising plans involve EMPs.
Also, remember that as the leader of earth I would be able to rewrite history as much as I please so I can just write japan out of existence and within a few generations the place would be a myth at best. Not to mention seeing I put much heavier investment in robotics, alt. fuels and so on, any use japan had would be rendered null very fast and gasoline companies would instead slowly become outdated as the new alternatives are found instead of just closing them down.
As for why I want to destroy japan and ban random sub-cultures, that is because when your in control of everything; you can do whatever you damn please and destroying japan and writing it out of existence is one of those things for me.
Going to space would take a lot of time, so making myself live as long as possible through any means would be a logical thing to do so I can see out my plans even if I would have sons and daughters by then.
Going space faring however would be the hardest part, and would probably involve mars as a first step because mars has water and likely has many resources under the surface we may have yet to discover that may prove useful.
In the end, what I would make of humanity would be not unlike the imperium of man the more I think about it.
Thankfully, none of us will ever get to be in such positions of power.
@synth
Good point.
Set up my Throne room, my throne will be a giant gold & diamond toilet. then i would begin the process of setting anyone that has ever annoyed me on fire, damn a lot of people are gonna burn..... Once all the idiots & fucktards are dealt with, then i can get on with ruling the world with an iron fist, my word is law & i'll make the rest up as i go.
Firstly make Britain the central hub of the world! 
why because I love dear old Blighty, secondly people must call me Lord Widdowson, (it sounds so official), thirdly God Save the Queen will be played everyday around the world, the new world national anthem!(people wouldn't have to sing along, but they would have to listen in silence!), fourthly I would have a pet monkey named Mr Ditto and he will be adorable (no one else can have one either!), and I would need a crown, not to eccentric, but one that still makes me look like a royal, oh and Mr Ditto needs one as well. And erm...I think that's everything. Well till I rule the world then, cheers.
why because I love dear old Blighty, secondly people must call me Lord Widdowson, (it sounds so official), thirdly God Save the Queen will be played everyday around the world, the new world national anthem!(people wouldn't have to sing along, but they would have to listen in silence!), fourthly I would have a pet monkey named Mr Ditto and he will be adorable (no one else can have one either!), and I would need a crown, not to eccentric, but one that still makes me look like a royal, oh and Mr Ditto needs one as well. And erm...I think that's everything. Well till I rule the world then, cheers.
But where would your best friend sit in the new world order?Philol said:Firstly make Britain the central hub of the world!
plz can haz my pet rabbit?