You are proclaimed "Evil Overlord of Earth", what do you do first?

[shadowmagus]

There is a long list of countries getting completely annihilated because they piss me off. Second, of those countries still left, we move into executing current leaders and installing leaders who are loyal to me. Third, we use the destruction of the other nations and death of former leaders, along with good propaganda, to cow the remaining populace into submission and make them believe that all of them were horrible sons of bitches who deserved everything they got. Fourth, I heavily regulate the internet.

What? I was made -Evil- overlord. I can't have the internet coming back to bite me in the ass.

I think that's a good start. I haven't finalized all points of my plan yet.

 

[Cazza]

drown all the noobs
Gaming is funded by the tears of fanboys
Anyone owning all current gen console to be spanked until they are red in the face.


You know the normal evil stuff.

 

[Teh Jammah]

Well, obviously the first thing I'd do would be to install my 5 year old advisor as per the evil overlord list. It will all be for nought if my plans have holes that they can see through after all.

Then, you know, the usual. Replace all politicians with uncorruptable robots, outlaw religion, murder all my old school friends and work colleagues, set up harem comprised of fit women and finally create a zany 'evil overlord' public persona that the public won't take seriously, allowing me to enact my true evil agenda with impunity (see Bush, George W; Johnson, Boris; etc).

Also work on establishing immortality through clone army. Worked hard to achieve power, not having it undone by incompetent successors.

 

[rutger5000]

)rStrangelove]

)rStrangelove]Put all politicians in a space shuttle, set autopilot course to mid of our starsystem and fire it off.

Happy melting.

Sunsystem, that is if you want melting. Starsytem has a middle, but I wouldn't say that middle is hot.

Hmmm. I think Sunsystem is a very special one, its only the system with our 'Sun' in its core. Whereas a starsystem is a general expression describing ours and all other systems out there.

Dont think its wrong to say 'our starsystem' is it?

I'm 95% sure I think a starsystem is a system of stars, the system around one star is called a solar sytem. But again not 100% sure, won't bother checking wikipedia.

 

[tkioz]

Day #1
7:00AM-9:00AM ~ Breakfast / Orgy
9:00AM-11:00AM ~ Draw up hit list and sign death warrants.
11:00AM-12:00PM ~ Lunch / Orgy
12:00PM-14:00PM ~ Interviews for evil underlords / executions for failed interviewees
14:00PM-16:00PM ~ Interviews for harem / Orgy
17:00PM-19:00PM ~ First meeting of evil underlords, layout agenda, set out plan for space exploration, intergalactic conquest, distribution of world resources, and light snacks.
20:00PM-21:00PM ~ Personal meeting with Josh Whedon / Public Execution of People responsible for Firefly getting axed.
21:00PM-22:00PM ~ Dinner / Orgy
22:00PM ~ Bed time. evil overlords need sleep too don't you know!

 

[retyopy]

I'd decree living illegal without the proper permits, and confiscate it from every person on Earth until they can get the correct papers.

 

[Kitten DeLux]

No pants friday will become a order not a life style

 

[madkill]

Bring back the Viking tradition.

 

[silversnake4133]

Well, I would promote Lauren Faust to Vice Overlord.
Then I would create a My Little Pony network that would be translated to every language and broadcast all around the world.
Then I would make a world-wide holiday called "International Friendship Day".
Then I would have a massive pony statue erected upon each major land mass (except Antarctica because nobody except penguins and scientists go there).
A new religion will be created and practiced: "Bronyism"
All world leaders must rename themselves with a pony name that Lauren would have to approve of, and will be required to write letters to me every week about what they learned about friendship.
An Orbital Friendship Cannon will be put into operation and will obliterate any intolerance or wrong-doing.

>:3

 

[Naeras]

First I'm going to find every motherfucking super-conservative-gunwank-patriotact-Republican in the USA and every radical islamist(not regular muslims, mind) and sentence them to public flogging, before doing the same to certain hate-based european politicians and their voters. After that I'm going to get funding for that research project I'm currently planning, which will be some biological compound that removes any and all impulse control from anyone I spray it on. I'll then spray it on a lot of random people that I don't like and watch them either kill each others or have lots and lots of sex while killing each others.

Then I'm going to do an evil villain laugh while I retire to my castle with some hot nerdy chicks and watch Firefly and eat lobsters. Because I fucking can.

 

[CrazyGirl17]

First, I'd make it so that kid's cartoon stations would stop showing sub-par cartoons and bring back good ones. Oh, and I'd limit the number of reality TV out there.

And that's just for starters...

EDIT: I got more- I'd send all unrepentant extremists into the suns, and make it so that Youtube can't remove videos just because companies ***** about it.

 

[BlazeRaider]

Jaywalk... across busy intersections, EVEN IF I DON'T NECESSARILY NEED TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! MWHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[AudienceOfOne1]

simple. Gladiator mice.

 

[mastermerrick]

Brush up on the Evil Overlord List. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList]

 

[Kulk]

send all those involved with the X factor to shark invested waters

 

[CardinalPiggles]

I would blow the shit out of EA's HQ... When they're having a meeting of course.

Then give big fat grants to DICE and Bioware and tell them to make another game and go from there.

And finally I would get laid as many times as I wanted.

 

[Taddy]

First thing is first, the Hero, if I am truly an Evil Overlord of Earth no doubt a hero will rise to stop me and my "tyranny." I will dispatch my minions all over the world, spaced far enough from each other so they won't be suspicious. They will all be on the look out for kids, teens and adults that stick out like a sore thumb (They'll know what to look for). Once they have found this desired individual i will make sure his life is as comfortable as possible without being directly involved with it. This way he'll have no real reason to come after me, but if he does before hand have a reason i will make sure to have my minions gather information on it. If it's within reasonable bounds i will adjust whatever unjust activity I am doing and change it for the better. If this is reality Evil Overlord i will be paranoid, i will use as many gambits, security defenses (Such as voice and finger prints) and highly trained guards as possible. All of my guards will be treated with respect, paid well and come with health benefits.

I'll just cut the rest short, first I'd replace ALL POLITICIANS with someone who will actually tell the damn truth instead of twisting words or out right spewing shit from their mouths. I'm an Evil Overlord, i want the truth, not a crock of shit. As time goes on I'll slowly change the world for the better regardless of my stance on the subject, if it yields a better result I'll use that option other something easier. I'm an Evil Overlord, not a lazy twat. I'll also hire a professional for a Public Relations department. Eventually I'll smear the line between Evil Overlord of Earth and Benevolent Dictator.

I'm pretty sure i messed something up with that, can't put my finger on it though.

Brush up on the Evil Overlord List. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilOverlordList]

Yeah pretty much this.

 

[MammothBlade]

Hmm, why, conquering the world is not enough. I will have inherited a filthy Earth which must be cleansed of scum.

For that reason, absolute justice will be my #1 priority. I will reintroduce capital punishment, corporal punishment, public humiliation, and all manners of cruel and unusual and amusing punishments for criminals and generally bad people, or people I just don't like. Do I come off as a sadist? Perhaps, but we're not exactly talking of torturing and decapitating innocents...

Bring back Roman blood sports, maybe as part of my regimen of justice. In addition, some kind of battle royale would be a fascinating idea!
I would demolish 25% of supermarkets so that the town high street can thrive again.
I'd reform the mental health profession, maybe bring back a new generation of well-furnished mental institutions with strict regulations and more damn psychotherapy instead of chemical lobotomies.
School class sizes would be cut to manageable levels, under 20, to ensure the best start for children.
Massive motorways/highway networks in all countries would be replaced or rivalled by extensive rail and tram networks.
All trash television -especially reality tv, sensationalist talk shows, and exploitative game shows- will be banned, under pain of DEATH.

My massive, 1000 square mile palace/fortress complex shall be constructed on the US Northwest coast. I will demolish whatever I have to in order to construct it.

 

[direkiller]

Outlaw thick pancakes and encourage everyone to eat thin crepes for breakfast everyday. Missing breakfast once is a fine of 200 AUD, twice is 250 AUD, third is a death sentence.

you monster
i like my flapjacks