You have one free punch.

[Patrick Buck]

Whichever retarded peice of shit on the Fox planning board who had the idea to cancel firefly.

I would punch him/her so hard. Failing that, Merdoch, I don't care that he's an old man, he's a bastard.

Capatcha: As you wish

If only Capatcha, if only.

 

[Phasmal]

Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

Ninjad in the two ways I was going to answer -.-
"You sir over there"
*Phasmal turns around*
*BAAM

I don't think I'd turn around if someone were saying `Hey sir`.

I'm a lady.

But just cause I wan't to punch you doesn't mean you cant want to punch you too!

 

[Guffe]

Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

Ninjad in the two ways I was going to answer -.-
"You sir over there"
*Phasmal turns around*
*BAAM

I don't think I'd turn around if someone were saying `Hey sir`.

I'm a lady.

Aaaaaand going wrong in the one possible way it could that I didn't take into account -.-
Not really my day is it...

 

[Sassafrass]

Tiff Needell.
No one will understand this but I wish to punch his smug face in.

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

pope benedict XVI

you have no idea how much i'd relish that opertunity, or if a second punch was added ann widicome.

Might I inquire on the reason for this? I do not keep up with news of the Catholic faith.

 

[madmatt]

Piers Morgan or Michael Gove. You had best be on guard...

 

[Phasmal]

Aaaaaand going wrong in the one possible way it could that I didn't take into account -.-
Not really my day is it...

Lol, don't worry about it. The free-punch does not discriminate.
As an aside, I always thought Phasmal sounded feminine, but I guess not. Or it could just be cause everyone assumes male til otherwise.

 

[maninahat]

I would carry it around on a necklace and use it to threaten folks that were bothering me. "See this? Keep it up, and it's yours." A punch is waaaaaay more useful before it's thrown.

You sir are some kind of genius, wizard sage.

 

[Guffe]

Aaaaaand going wrong in the one possible way it could that I didn't take into account -.-
Not really my day is it...

Lol, don't worry about it. The free-punch does not discriminate.
As an aside, I always thought Phasmal sounded feminine, but I guess not. Or it could just be cause everyone assumes male til otherwise.

I think it is the assume male 'til proven otherwise.
Phasmal sounds alien if something...

 

[Doclector]

Wow, I just sat here for a while until I realised I really don't wanna punch anybody.
Maybe I'm just a peace-loving-wuss, but I can't say I have a desire to actually hit anybody.

But, that's not a funny answer, so:
You.
Yes, you.

I have the opposite problem. There's simply too many deserving candidates.

Probably Nick Clegg though, for being a filthy traitor. Sure, cameron's an asshole, but that was always abvious, I don't think he's actually lied yet. He said he'd do painful things, and he has, for better or for worse (it's for worse, by the way). Now clegg, that f***er downright lied to the entire country.

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Michael Bay. He knows what he's done.

 

[snagli]

Well, I have somebody in mind. Somebody from these very forums. This user [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view]. I'm coming for you, do you hear me, you cannot hide!

Oh fuck, that actually scared me for a second. I thought that it was just some guy who's really, really annoying (like, say, a person whose name starts with Z and ends with eel), en then I saw my name. Fuck.

OT: Eeh, probably a shark or a grizzly bear. I always wanted to do that and I don't want to get torn to shreds.

 

[Broady Brio]

A person known as Sulli. I had the chance a few nights ago, but I was currently looking after a friend who drank too much, so I decided that violence wasn't going to help the current situation.

 

[M0rp43vs]

MC Hammer.
Just so I can say I touched that.

 

[Kargathia]

I'll punch whatever twit declared I can only punch once.

After that I'll continue to punch whomever I feel like.

 

[TheFunPolice]

I came into this thread thinking I'd instantly have an answer, but the truth is..It actually took quite a lot of thought..But the answer is definitely Simon Cowell...

My god..It would be so nice if somebody just introduced a fist to that smug face...The music industry would be much more pleasant without him -_-

 

[SenseOfTumour]

As much as I'd prefer to punch Paul Dacre, owner of the Daily Mail, for the good of the world, it'll have to be Rupert Murdoch.

Can I choose to do it in the penthouse suite of one of his buildings? If I could punch him thru a window, I'd do even more good.

There's obviously a ton of valid targets, Richard Littlejohn, Bill O Reilly, Melanie Phillips, one of very few women I'd consider putting on the list, as, even after punching her in the face, people would still think she hates women more than me

But in the end, if Murdoch wasn't paying them a million a year, they'd just be standing on a street corner yelling at traffic.

Or on the other side, maybe Bill Maher for making anyone on the left look quite horrendously smug, plus he comes across as just an arse at times.

 

[Doneeee]

Free punch, huh?

-drinks free punch-

Very nice, thanks for the punch!

I'd punch YOU for making such a lame joke. I kid I kid.

Honestly I'd save the punch for whenever someone bigger and stronger then me pisses me off beyond belief.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Cher LLoyed (I refuse to google that woman's name to find out if I've spelt it correctly)

B*tch just does my head in, and she's ruining the music industry.

To be fair, that's like kicking the dog that laid the turd you just stepped in, when you should really be beating up the owner who's letting it lay fresh steaming heaps of crap all over town.

By which I mean Simon Cowell's far worse than any one off, forgettable talent show winner.

Of course you're entitled to your choice however

I also could have used mine more effectively aiming it at the Conservative party, but damn, Cameron, Osbourne, Gove, HOW can you choose from such a range of eminently punchable faces?

Gove is probably most punchable, but the other two seem even more deserving.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I want to punch David Cameron because he is a smug idiot and he doesn't know his bottom from his elbow.

(everyone wave to the Secret Service! Hai Guyz!)

I got your back @SenseofTumour! no worries