You know you're British when...

[Baradiel]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

Only slightly true. Some tabloid newspapers are notorious for having very narrow-minded views, particularly when it comes to immigration... but "openly racist" is a bit of a stretch. We don't currently have anything as ludicrous as Fox News, in any medium.*

British journalists are the scum of the earth [http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world], though, make no mistake. Just not for the reasons implied.



*Sky News is trying really hard, though.

Oh my god, thats terrible! And that was found out yesterday? Christ.

The lengths people will go to get an interesting story... If they don't outright make it up, or manipulate what they do know to make it to their liking, then they're being outright illegal... This is why I don't read papers.

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Thanks for the generalization there, although i realise that's a rather pointless thing to say in this thread.
But you do realise that xenophobia isn't just a British thing right?
It's all around the world!
And Britain is a pretty equal place to live.

But you know when your british when you begin defending Britain over stupid points.

AHA! You are an American spy, good sir! I see that American English spelling there! You shall be imprisoned in the Tower of London within the hour!

 

[vrbtny]

You know you're British when you're a FUCKING MANIAC ON THE ROAD. Seriously. I just got back from vacation in London this morning, you people are insane. It's amazing there aren't a dozen crashes at every roundabout every ten seconds.

Just a question? Which country are you from? I wanna move there just for the driving.

I'm from Austin, Texas, so we have much wider roads and a more laid-back population. Probably because they're all stoned.

Lot's of people in London are on drugs as well, just more sinister stuff.

 

[Moonpig123]

When you get all these tired cliches thrown at you.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

You do this on facebook? My friend is marrying an American girl in about a year and this is his facebook atm. I am pink

Spoiler: Muahahaha

[

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

Only slightly true. Some tabloid newspapers are notorious for having very narrow-minded views, particularly when it comes to immigration... but "openly racist" is a bit of a stretch. We don't currently have anything as ludicrous as Fox News, in any medium.*

British journalists are the scum of the earth [http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world], though, make no mistake. Just not for the reasons implied.



*Sky News is trying really hard, though.

Oh my god, thats terrible! And that was found out yesterday? Christ.

The lengths people will go to get an interesting story... If they don't outright make it up, or manipulate what they do know to make it to their liking, then they're being outright illegal... This is why I don't read papers.

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Thanks for the generalization there, although i realise that's a rather pointless thing to say in this thread.
But you do realise that xenophobia isn't just a British thing right?
It's all around the world!
And Britain is a pretty equal place to live.

But you know when your british when you begin defending Britain over stupid points.

AHA! You are an American spy, good sir! I see that American English spelling there! You shall be imprisoned in the Tower of London within the hour!

Sadly, you are wrong my friend.
For i didn't know how to spell it, so i looked it up, it not crossing my mind that the Americans, for whatever reason, had mutated another one of our lovely words.
Damn you wikipedia!!!

 

[Seagoon]

When you realize just how awesome you are...

- Seagoon of England

 

[Metropocalypse]

When you can't leave your house without health and safety limiting any opportunities you'd otherwise have.

 

[Baradiel]

What does it say about me when over half of these apply, but I'm American?

You are an ex-colonist! Ofcourse there are elements of the true, pure British way in your blood! [sub]Unless you are descended from French or Dutch colonists, any other nationality...[/sub]

 

[Techno Squidgy]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Southerners only I'm afraid

OT: You know you're British when you go over to Calais for booze and have to fight the urge to give all those slimy frogs the V's.

 

[Scrubiii]

You know you're British when you still think that your country is the most powerful in the world.

I am British and I have never met anyone who thinks this.

You know you're British when you're a FUCKING MANIAC ON THE ROAD. Seriously. I just got back from vacation in London this morning, you people are insane. It's amazing there aren't a dozen crashes at every roundabout every ten seconds.

Never, ever, ever visit France. The person coming onto the roundabout has right of way.

Also, why were you driving in London, when Boris has such a wonderful public transport system established?

 

[Varrdy]

When this becomes a reality.

Well, that's me confirmed as 100% British, then - cheers mate!

Wardy

 

[Baradiel]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

Only slightly true. Some tabloid newspapers are notorious for having very narrow-minded views, particularly when it comes to immigration... but "openly racist" is a bit of a stretch. We don't currently have anything as ludicrous as Fox News, in any medium.*

British journalists are the scum of the earth [http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world], though, make no mistake. Just not for the reasons implied.



*Sky News is trying really hard, though.

Oh my god, thats terrible! And that was found out yesterday? Christ.

The lengths people will go to get an interesting story... If they don't outright make it up, or manipulate what they do know to make it to their liking, then they're being outright illegal... This is why I don't read papers.

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Thanks for the generalization there, although i realise that's a rather pointless thing to say in this thread.
But you do realise that xenophobia isn't just a British thing right?
It's all around the world!
And Britain is a pretty equal place to live.

But you know when your british when you begin defending Britain over stupid points.

AHA! You are an American spy, good sir! I see that American English spelling there! You shall be imprisoned in the Tower of London within the hour!

Sadly, you are wrong my friend.
For i didn't know how to spell it, so i looked it up, it not crossing my mind that the Americans, for whatever reason, had mutated another one of our lovely words.
Damn you wikipedia!!!

Your excuses may fool a Frenchman, but not a tea=blooded Brit! All true Brits are fed the Oxford Dictionary as their first meal!

 

[alex2212]

You have "traditional british", who are still inordinately hung up on our role in WW2 and the awesomeness of the empire, then you have the "neo-british" who are slowly beginning to realise that we need to look to the future instead of the past. I think that the ballsiest thing Nick Clegg ever did was to publicly acknowledge this fact.

 

[Pikey Mikey]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

Only slightly true. Some tabloid newspapers are notorious for having very narrow-minded views, particularly when it comes to immigration... but "openly racist" is a bit of a stretch. We don't currently have anything as ludicrous as Fox News, in any medium.*

British journalists are the scum of the earth [http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world], though, make no mistake. Just not for the reasons implied.



*Sky News is trying really hard, though.

Oh my god, thats terrible! And that was found out yesterday? Christ.

The lengths people will go to get an interesting story... If they don't outright make it up, or manipulate what they do know to make it to their liking, then they're being outright illegal... This is why I don't read papers.

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Thanks for the generalization there, although i realise that's a rather pointless thing to say in this thread.
But you do realise that xenophobia isn't just a British thing right?
It's all around the world!
And Britain is a pretty equal place to live.

But you know when your british when you begin defending Britain over stupid points.

AHA! You are an American spy, good sir! I see that American English spelling there! You shall be imprisoned in the Tower of London within the hour!

And he would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling escapists =)

 

[Continuity]

You know you're British when... You can tell the darn difference Between being British and being English, and there is a noticeable lack of that in this thread...

I can tell!!

And i'm British ;-)

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

When you pronounce vowels properly.

Wait, do you mean properly or Southernly?

Is it a long A or a short A?

OT: You know you're English when you have everyone in the world think you have a Home Counties accent, drink tea, wear a top hat, twirl a cane and that everyone inside Britain is English.

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Actually, thats Japan.

We dont talk about it much on this forum when there is good old America bashing to do but as far as I can tell British newspapers are like an openly racist version of FOX news. Is this true or have I been lied to?

Only slightly true. Some tabloid newspapers are notorious for having very narrow-minded views, particularly when it comes to immigration... but "openly racist" is a bit of a stretch. We don't currently have anything as ludicrous as Fox News, in any medium.*

British journalists are the scum of the earth [http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world], though, make no mistake. Just not for the reasons implied.



*Sky News is trying really hard, though.

Oh my god, thats terrible! And that was found out yesterday? Christ.

The lengths people will go to get an interesting story... If they don't outright make it up, or manipulate what they do know to make it to their liking, then they're being outright illegal... This is why I don't read papers.

When you use 'could of' or any variation thereof.

Or being extremely xenophobic.

Thanks for the generalization there, although i realise that's a rather pointless thing to say in this thread.
But you do realise that xenophobia isn't just a British thing right?
It's all around the world!
And Britain is a pretty equal place to live.

But you know when your british when you begin defending Britain over stupid points.

AHA! You are an American spy, good sir! I see that American English spelling there! You shall be imprisoned in the Tower of London within the hour!

Sadly, you are wrong my friend.
For i didn't know how to spell it, so i looked it up, it not crossing my mind that the Americans, for whatever reason, had mutated another one of our lovely words.
Damn you wikipedia!!!

Your excuses may fool a Frenchman, but not a tea=blooded Brit! All true Brits are fed the Oxford Dictionary as their first meal!

*sigh*
THERE IS ENGLISH BLOOD PUMPING THROUGH THESE VEINS!
I am english, i live in the south of england, i have lived in the same house my ENTIRE LIFE!

 

[TheKmanofAwesometon]

When you make a thread about how british you are

 

[Pariah87]

You know you're British when you can ask someone if you can have a fag and they don't punch you in the face or look at you in disgust. (In Boston I forgot and asked a builder who was smoking if I could buy a fag off him...the look of pure bewilderment on his face haha)

You know you're British when you go to America and a few people take guesses at where you're from, naming many countries, none of which form the British Isles. (Some people thought I was German, some South African and a fair few assumed I was Australian. I can only apolgise for having an Anglian accent and not sounding like Alan Rickman or Orlando Bloom.)

You know you're British when you see people like these everyday, talking the same, dressing the same.



The second is a piss take (I hope) and is actually quite funny.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

When you wake up with overcast, shout,"What a lovely day it is!" and go to the beach to get a tan.

This is one of the few consistent ones throughout all of Britain, well done, you have made me chuckle myself into a hardy laugh.