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Gethsemani

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5.) What Fetish (if any) do you most get associated with? Has it affected your date life?
What's that American turn of phrase? Lady in the streets freak in the sheets? There ought to be something similar for men, because I find the idea of not publicly flaunting your sex life to be a good idea for everyone.
 

ObsidianJones

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I'm open for work shopping number 5, but this is legitimately an issue I've dealt with in terms of dating.

When I was trying to date, the less... serious minded in terms of long term relationships tended to just want sex. And if that's someone's thing, I'm fine with it. No judgement. But I'm not that sexually driven.

However, half the time that this occurred, I was fetishized due to the stereotype of Black Men. It would be made abundantly clear to me that was the driving force of the interest. And it made me feel like a piece of meat. I hated it. And from that point on after I noticed that pattern, it caused me to question any time if I got interest from a woman. Was this woman truly interested in pursuing something, or was this another attempt to have their thrills?

It's half the reason I started to lose interest in dating. So yeah, it did affect me, and I wondered if it affected any of you as well.
 
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Gethsemani

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I'm open for work shopping number 5, but this is legitimately an issue I've dealt with in terms of dating.

It's half the reason I started to lose interest in dating. So yeah, it did affect me, and I wondered if it affected any of you as well.
Throwing the question out is fine, I don't mind reading it nor any replies that might come from it. I just don't like talking about my sex life or my kinks as I think that's something between me and my partner.
 
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Chimpzy

Professor of Monkey Business
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4.) Is there a Celebrity you always wished you looked like? Is there a Celebrity you're always associated with? Stories about that?
Cillian Murphy. We have more or less similar features and facial structure, but you know, he's way handsomer. Particularly he has those cheekbones you could bounce a quarter off, and of course that piercing blue gaze. Whereas I'm kind of like what you'd get if you tried to recreate Cillian Murphy in the Oblivion character creator (without any mods).
5.) What Fetish (if any) do you most get associated with? Has it affected your date life?
Don't really have one? I sort of have a type in terms of looks and personality, but none of it particularly outlandish. Not in terms of sexual kinks either. I mean, tried a bunch of stuff, and while it's fun to experiment once in a while, but in the end what I like best is plain vanilla with lots of physical intimacy. Don't think there was any harm to my date life. I mean, current s/o would probably be fine with pretty much anything, didn't date for near ten years before that, and as for my exes, I give zero fucks.
 

Xprimentyl

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However, half the time that this occurred, I was fetishized due to the stereotype of Black Men. It would be made abundantly clear to me that was the driving force of the interest. And it made me feel like a piece of meat. I hated it. And from that point on after I noticed that pattern, it caused me to question any time if I got interest from a woman. Was this woman truly interested in pursuing something, or was this another attempt to have their thrills?
I can relate in two ways.

My current girlfriend is white, and she's no stranger to the "once you go black, you never go back" jokes that lost any hint of humor long ago for both of us. The spotlight being cast on our interracial relationship makes it a "thing," an "abnormality" that people feel the need (and right) to notice and comment on. Like if you were to walk into a room with a black eye, and people ask "what happened to you?" That's a perfectly acceptable question, because something is wrong; something DID happen to you. There's nothing wrong with us; nothing happened to us; we don't need the commentary.

And on my end, the whole stereotypical idea that as a black man dating a white woman, I've crossed the indelible line of liking white women because apparently, "I can't handle strong, black women." Usually comes from black women who see me with my gf and make such comments sassily (usually out of jealousy,) and black guys who actually fit that stereotypical bill and "congratulate" me for coming to the "white side." I grew up around strong black women. My ex-wife was a strong black woman. I've since dated several strong, black women. I've also dated some strong, white women, a strong Somali woman, a strong Mexican woman, a strong Bosnian woman, ad infinitum. See the pattern? I LIKE WOMEN. I couldn't care less the color of their skin if I find them attractive and our temperaments are compatible. I've no fear of, am not intimidated by nor do I have any particular preference against black women, and being black does not obligate me to date black.
 

SckizoBoy

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4.) Is there a Celebrity you always wished you looked like? Is there a Celebrity you're always associated with? Stories about that?
I used to be described as a Clamp (mangaka group) designed character (albeit with a rather gaunt face) given my slim build and height, though being somewhat broad shouldered made it a weird look. And that's about as close as I am to being associated with looking like any celebrity.

*OPTIONAL (or pending removal)* 5.) What Fetish (if any) do you most get associated with? Has it affected your date life?
I can't remember who it was, but damn, a guy from the v1 forums (used Colonel Mustang from FullMetal Alchemist as his avatar) often posed this sort of question and it actually got a lot of healthy discussion. I remember long chats with Bara_no_Hime, too, bonding over Sunstone and shit like that (even got talking with Aylaine on the topic a couple times which was a bit weird at first). Fun times, nonetheless.

Anyway, yes, BDSM, though it was a bit of a phase thing as emigrating put a stop to it then various other life stuff got in the way and my wife and I don't really get the chance to do anything particularly wild these days. *dramatic shrug
 

ObsidianJones

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Don't really have one? I sort of have a type in terms of looks and personality, but none of it particularly outlandish. Not in terms of sexual kinks either. I mean, tried a bunch of stuff, and while it's fun to experiment once in a while, but in the end what I like best is plain vanilla with lots of physical intimacy. Don't think there was any harm to my date life. I mean, current s/o would probably be fine with pretty much anything, didn't date for near ten years before that, and as for my exes, I give zero fucks.
Ok, I'm now assured I worded this question wrongly.

I'm attempting to ask the forum if, due to their appearance, are people with certain fetishes attracted to them. Like Xprimentyl and I might get approached by women of other races because of the stereotypical of how endowed black men are.

And Hell, I think I just did it. I'm going to edit 5 now.

5.) Due to your appearance, are there people with certain fetishes who are typically attracted to you? Like Xprimentyl and I might get approached by women of other races because of the stereotypical of how endowed black men are.

I can relate in two ways.

My current girlfriend is white, and she's no stranger to the "once you go black, you never go back" jokes that lost any hint of humor long ago for both of us. The spotlight being cast on our interracial relationship makes it a "thing," an "abnormality" that people feel the need (and right) to notice and comment on. Like if you were to walk into a room with a black eye, and people ask "what happened to you?" That's a perfectly acceptable question, because something is wrong; something DID happen to you. There's nothing wrong with us; nothing happened to us; we don't need the commentary.

And on my end, the whole stereotypical idea that as a black man dating a white woman, I've crossed the indelible line of liking white women because apparently, "I can't handle strong, black women." Usually comes from black women who see me with my gf and make such comments sassily (usually out of jealousy,) and black guys who actually fit that stereotypical bill and "congratulate" me for coming to the "white side." I grew up around strong black women. My ex-wife was a strong black woman. I've since dated several strong, black women. I've also dated some strong, white women, a strong Somali woman, a strong Mexican woman, a strong Bosnian woman, ad infinitum. See the pattern? I LIKE WOMEN. I couldn't care less the color of their skin if I find them attractive and our temperaments are compatible. I've no fear of, am not intimidated by nor do I have any particular preference against black women, and being black does not obligate me to date black.
I never wanted to hug another forum member more. You understand.

My Dude, I'm a geek (although I'm not built like one), so stereotypically most of my friends are of paler skin. I made the mistake of going to the Bronx Zoo with my Jewish female friend just once. From the time we got there to the time we left, we got looks, sucked teeth, and a few out loud comments.

It was damn awkward. It wouldn't have stopped me then from dating a white woman, but I can only sympathize for what you must go through. And I was in the supposedly 'Tolerant North'!
 
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XsjadoBlayde

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Right, I am major pissed someone ruined my 666 likes, as it was going to be a perfect excuse to stop typing neurotic nonsense while leaving on a mildly satanic note. So now that plan's annihilated, might as well jump back in on a thread directly baiting such personality fl...quirks?

1. Yes. And then no. Low self-esteem fuels this entirely.
2. Yes. Low self-esteem is a fuck.
3. Yes. Blow blelf ableem blah de blah blooby blah.
4. Umm, ppl have said I look like a certain someone who I don't consider attractive, but do appreciate their dress sense and some of their music.
5. I suppose there would be some out there with kinks for the style, not gonna go looking or asking for them though, for reasons that mostly rhyme with "snow elf's a bean!" Also apparently some ppl are shallow for musical types, and am even less fond of looking for those, no guesses as to why of course.
 

Bedinsis

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4.) Is there a Celebrity you always wished you looked like? Is there a Celebrity you're always associated with? Stories about that?

No. I've always wished to look like me. And I've been scared of change since forever. And I suspect I am too plain to have any celebrity's face associated with me.

5.) Due to your appearance, are there people with certain fetishes who are typically attracted to you? Like Xprimentyl and I might get approached by women of other races because of the stereotypical of how endowed black men are.


I don't know if there are people the are physically attracted to me. Or emotionally for that matter either.
 

Kae

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1.) Do you think about your appearance? Do you consider yourself attractive or whatever? Does it matter to you personally any more?
I've been told by people I am and while I don't think this body is necessarily bad looking when I look in the mirror I don't really see myself, that being said I do think it's pretty cool that for the most part it looks very androgynous and I think that with some work it could look a way that I'm more comfortable with, but yes I do think about it a lot and I guess it does matter to me a lot.

2.) Do you change/deviate from your appearance at all? Do you change your hair style, clothing, whatever?
Yes, I've had many different styles, when I was a teen I had kind off an emo vibe going on, by which I mean oversized black hoodies with skulls on them and long hair that covered my face, though my hair is wavy so it wasn't like exactly the emo haircut as I don't straighten it, then I changed to a ridiculous kinda goth-y style, by which I mean skin-tight black leather pants, skin-tight black shirts, huge leather boots, a black trench coat & a scarf to cover my face because I cut my hair short and I need my face covered, then I changed to a variation on that but less goth-y, like just black dress shoes or hiking boots, fit dress pants, fit dress shoots, the trench coat and the scarf stayed people said it had matrix-y vibes, I also started growing my hair out, right now my style is more hipster-y I guess, mostly jeans and slim fitting shirts I guess, the scarves stayed though because I still need to cover my face, though with the popularity of masks they have become less necessary but I've been wearing them for too long to stop, my hair is super long now though, thinking it's about time for a more drastic change though.

3.) Do you think others care about your appearance? Do you perceive any difference in how you're treated vs how others are?
Yes, a lot, keep in mind that I've always been androgynous and most of my life I've used not necessarily mainstream styles, so yeah it does affect a lot how people treat me, like not joking at all I've had people say fairly bad stuff at me for looking "gay" or "effeminate", I even had some people throw shit cans at me from a moving vehicle while yelling the homophobic slurs back when I was a teen, so yeah, my friends have referred to me as a "trap" too, which I don't particularly like either, while I dressed more stereotypically male I was treated very differently too, much more normal I guess, so yeah I'd say it makes a massive difference.

4.) Is there a Celebrity you always wished you looked like? Is there a Celebrity you're always associated with? Stories about that?
Hmmm... Nothing really comes to mind to be honest, I'll admit that part of it is that I'm not sure what I want to look like, while I have dressed extravagantly most of my life I tried not to think about it because I know it's very likely not exactly conventional, in a way that probably is even more socially difficult to navigate that it already is, should be pretty obvious but I don't really conform to gender norms and have like a lot of stuff to work through.

5.) Due to your appearance, are there people with certain fetishes who are typically attracted to you? Like Xprimentyl and I might get approached by women of other races because of the stereotypical of how endowed black men are.
Yes, most of my life I've looked unusually young, like people thought I was 12 when I was 18, and like 15-16 when I was 24, so I'll leave that to your imagination but not exactly the best crowd to attract, fortunately I don't look like a kid anymore so I don't get that anymore, but I still get associated with femboy fetish I guess, also when I wore leather people tended to associate me with S&M too, but yeah, I don't really like any of it though.
 

Xprimentyl

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I never wanted to hug another forum member more. You understand.

My Dude, I'm a geek (although I'm not built like one), so stereotypically most of my friends are of paler skin. I made the mistake of going to the Bronx Zoo with my Jewish female friend just once. From the time we got there to the time we left, we got looks, sucked teeth, and a few out loud comments.

It was damn awkward. It wouldn't have stopped me then from dating a white woman, but I can only sympathize for what you must go through. And I was in the supposedly 'Tolerant North'!
Yes, my friend; I DO understand. Fortunately, after 5 years, we're mostly numb to the jokes, comments and sideways glances.

What we're not so numb to are the socially awkward questions that are disguised as casual discussion/interest. Went to party at a friend's house; after being introduced to some of the host's white friends and exchanging names, the FIRST question to us out of one wide-eyed stranger's mouth was "So, how did you two meet?" Has anyone in the history of ever felt the need to get into a couple’s romantic history 30 seconds after meeting them? It’s fine after some conversation, y’know, “what do you for a living?” “Where are you from?” But right out the gate, showing such overt-if-tacit fascination with an interracial couple, is really telling that we’ve got a long way to grow as a society.

Or sometimes we go out to eat or to a bar, clearly together, and the waiter/waitress asks "Are these going to be separate checks?" after handing a white couple next to us a single check without hesitation. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence; three, four, five times is a pattern. It actually became a running gag with me and her; we sit down, and bet on whether or not we’ll be asked the question.
 

happyninja42

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1.) Do you think about your appearance? Do you consider yourself attractive or whatever? Does it matter to you personally any more?
1a. Somewhat yes. I'm getting older, I'm out of shape, and I see more features that make me think of my dad, who I did not like very much in life. I don't dwell on it, but it does cross my mind when I look in the mirror.
1b. Not anymore no. From data from the various ladies who thirsted over me in my teens and 20s, and some guys who did the same, I USED to be attractive, but I don't think anyone finds me physical desirable in any capacity anymore. I could be wrong, I mean everyone has their own things that turn them on, but I don't see a large set where it's me at this point in my life.
1c. Eh, I mean somewhat? I don't like the fact that I'm not attractive or whatever, because it means I'm out of shape and have inferior health. I'd like to feel better, and be more sexually enthusiastic than I am, and a lot of that is due to my health. But, eh, I mean whatever.



2.) Do you change/deviate from your appearance at all? Do you change your hair style, clothing, whatever?
Many times yes. I've had long hair, all one length down past my shoulders in my youth, sometimes braided in loose, pinky thick braids (especially in the summer) with beads worked into them. A topknot style tie back on said long hair. I've also shaved my head bald multiple times, in fact I went from previously mentioned luscious long locks, to shaved head, in one go. I personally think EVERYONE should shave their head at least once. It's a very liberating experience. Seriously, no matter who you are or identify as, I suggest you shave your head at least once in your life.

3.) Do you think others care about your appearance? Do you perceive any difference in how you're treated vs how others are?
3a. I don't think so? Honestly don't pay it too much attention. What with minimizing my interactions with people, I'm not really talking to a lot of people on a regular basis, other than clients at work. And my appearance just doesn't come up. 3b. I mean, I'm a middle aged, overweight white dude, so yeah I get treated differently than say, a mid-20s attractive lady. Sure. Aside from the "hello nurse" kind of differences in behavior, not really. I'm pretty affable and easy going with people, even strangers. I don't have much issue striking up conversations with people and making the engagement enjoyable. In fact, it's pretty effortless for me. I work in customer service, have for decades, in particular phone customer service, and I've lost count of how often people compliment me for my help, and how I made their inquiry painless. So no, I don't think I get treated differently for how I look, as most people I engage don't see me, and the ones that do, are quickly warmed up to me personally.

4.) Is there a Celebrity you always wished you looked like? Is there a Celebrity you're always associated with? Stories about that?
4a. Not really? Wished I looked like, no.
4b/c. Yes, back in my long hair days, I had a lot of people tell me "you look just like jesus." Which was annoying as an atheist, but whatever. I've had people (my wife included) say that I looked like Keanu Reeves. In fact my wife has a thing for Keanu, and stated that was one of the things that drew her to me when we first met. And, I mean I guess back in my 20s-30s, I kind of resembled him? Thin, long features on a slim frame. More of a runner/climber physique than a muscle guy. I had long, dark hair, and varying ranges of stubble. Not a physical similarity to a celebrity, but I've had multiple people in the last few years, claim that I laugh like Seth Rogan. Which I guess I can kind of hear a bit, but I'm older than him, so HE laughs like me damnit.



*Edited in hopes of getting my point across better* 5.) Due to your appearance, are there people with certain fetishes who are typically attracted to you? Like Xprimentyl and I might get approached by women of other races because of the stereotypical of how endowed black men are.
I apparently have very full lips for a man. And I remember several women, one coworker at a production plant in particular, enjoyed it. The one lady at the plant flat out just said to my face, in a very "hungry lady looking for cock' kind of way that she loved my full lips, and that she'd love to suck on them. Then proceeded to lick her lips suggestively at me. I'm also a very tall guy, with big feet. And you know what they say about guys with big feet. I can't comment on that, but I've heard from the female friends of some of my ex-lovers, that they complimented my schlong's size when bragging about having sex with me, so...*shrugs* There is also a hand related version of this, about measuring the length of your...I think it's the middle finger, from the base of your palm to the tip? I forget, but, yeah I had a lot of women, when I was younger, come up to me, and ask to see my hand, and then do some measuring thing to it, and walk away giggling. Which, I find really funny. Between the woman licking her lips at me like I was a snack she wanted to eat, and the other women just grabbing my body and measuring it to see what my dick size would be, it's amusing to me how casually sexually harrassing women can be to men.

I also, apparently have very long and....dexterous fingers. This actually led to probably my most awkward social encounter related to sex in my life. It wasn't even that bad, at least not for me. I'm not terribly shy about talking about sex and fetishes and kinks or any of it. I personally think all the shame and taboo about it is a key reason we have so many fucked up people in the world. Forcing them to try and suppress a natural part of their life, and shame those who talk about it. For me, if it's consensual, it's all good, and there shouldn't be any problem discussing it among adults. Now, THAT HAVING BEEN SAID. It was REALLY odd when I was meeting a guy friend of an old girlfriend for the first time, and was shaking his hand, and he said "Oh, it's nice to meet you. *Name* has told me a lot about you." *girlfriend is standing right next to us* "Yeah, she says you've got some very long fingers" *pregnant pause as he's shaking the very hand in question, girlfriend grinning like a cheshire cat at the moment* Me: "Yes well....I guess she would know."
 
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Xprimentyl

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It's amusing to me how casually sexually harrassing women can be to men.
^This. Not saying men should be able to get away with it equally, but women, for all the fainting damsels we're meant to treat them as, can be crude to an extent that puts typical man-on-woman harassment to SHAME.
 

ObsidianJones

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^This. Not saying men should be able to get away with it equally, but women, for all the fainting damsels we're meant to treat them as, can be crude to an extent that puts typical man-on-woman harassment to SHAME.
Is it story time? *checks* It's story time.

Ok, so as some of you know, in my twenties I was a personal trainer. I worked at a high end club in the suburbs of Manhattan.

I worked at a club where the majority of clientele were mature women in the morning, and husbands at the night.

As being young meat, us trainers were... judged as such.

I remember one time when I was straightening out the Group Exercise Studio. Putting weights in the appropriate bins (why don't people read?), cleaning off mats, and what not.

There was a class happening in 20 minutes. People are very territorial and love to be in their spots, so this is when you'll start seeing people file in. There was this older woman who was making small talk with me while I was putting stuff away. I'm an affable sort, so we're talking away some time before my next session.

I think a ball or something fell behind me and I just went to pick it up. Not thinking a thing about it. I bent at the waist to do so. When I returned, She was smiling and said "If I had a butt like yours, I wouldn't need this class".

I'm sure I didn't show how awkward I found the situation. But no. That was out of line. I didn't know what to actually say. I know I laughed it off, but the situation was weird to me.

Fast forward three weeks. There was a new trainer (I'll call her 'C') who was nice but... a little flirty. I don't really flirt so I found it also awkward. But she was really nice otherwise and I liked her as a friend well enough. This three weeks after, we had an afterhours ***** Session about how some of the clients talk to us.

She was telling us about how rude some clients were. She was doing an assessment on a new potential client, and he was asking her when she had free. She only had the morning, and he said it was too early. Unless he spent the night with her and they came in together that day.

That was disgusting to me. And to all of us who heard it. That was also way out of line, and very creepy given that when you did these assessments for new clients, you were in a semi private room to get measurements and what not.

I commiserated with her. And I said I knew what C was talking about. I told her my story that just happened prior.

And without missing a beat, C perked up and said "Well, that's because your butt is juicy! Juicy like a Papaya!"

I was not smooth in hiding in my confusion. Like... we were just talking about how weird it is when people are inappropriate. Why would you even do that? We didn't joke like that. Hell, I never joke like that with someone I'm not interested in. I was just really confused.

And... Scene!
 

Drathnoxis

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I can't remember who it was, but damn, a guy from the v1 forums (used Colonel Mustang from FullMetal Alchemist as his avatar)
Was it... Trunkage?


There was also another guy who hasn't posted in years I remember who had Colonel Mustang from the manga saying "I swear to drunk officer I'm not god." I can't remember his name right now and it's really bothering me. Darn it, what was his name?
 

SckizoBoy

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Was it... Trunkage?


There was also another guy who hasn't posted in years I remember who had Colonel Mustang from the manga saying "I swear to drunk officer I'm not god." I can't remember his name right now and it's really bothering me. Darn it, what was his name?
No, definitely wasn't him. Trunkage did a lot of variety in post/OP content, while the guy I'm thinking of was, at least in the old Off Topic boards, known primarily for sex-life threads (though not in a bad way, I'd hasten to add, given he was nowhere near as prolific as Bara_no_Hime).
 

Trunkage

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No, definitely wasn't him. Trunkage did a lot of variety in post/OP content, while the guy I'm thinking of was, at least in the old Off Topic boards, known primarily for sex-life threads (though not in a bad way, I'd hasten to add, given he was nowhere near as prolific as Bara_no_Hime).
I know Mustang is pretty sexy....

I dont remember another Mustang avatar.
 

Gethsemani

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I commiserated with her. And I said I knew what C was talking about. I told her my story that just happened prior.

And without missing a beat, C perked up and said "Well, that's because your butt is juicy! Juicy like a Papaya!"

I was not smooth in hiding in my confusion. Like... we were just talking about how weird it is when people are inappropriate. Why would you even do that? We didn't joke like that. Hell, I never joke like that with someone I'm not interested in. I was just really confused.

And... Scene!
I am off two minds here and it is a struggle:
1. Fuck those comments when they are uninvited. No matter your gender, you shouldn't have to hear people objectify your body to your face (and preferably not behind your back either). I am adamant about this and think it is crossing the line unless you're already dating/in a relationship with the person and it is part of your foreplay talk.

2. But I'm also at a workplace where a co-worker saying something like that would be on the lighter end of the spectrum. Just the other day me and an orderly talked about how some of the things we say to each other would be sexual harassment if the other person didn't get that it is all jokes and bullshit meant to ease the pressure of working in a PICU. I've got absolutely no problem with crass, vulgar humor and crude invites ("Is this a cucumber in my hand or am I just happy to see you?") as long as they are done in jest and with humorous intent.

Sometimes I think this makes me a hypocrite, at others I think there's a very distinct difference between some person you might barely know giving you a compliment you don't want and a person who you trust to have your back in a life or death situation saying something you both know are part of the jargon between you.
 

Drathnoxis

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No, definitely wasn't him. Trunkage did a lot of variety in post/OP content, while the guy I'm thinking of was, at least in the old Off Topic boards, known primarily for sex-life threads (though not in a bad way, I'd hasten to add, given he was nowhere near as prolific as Bara_no_Hime).
Found the other one I was thinking of. Was it loc978? (no wonder I couldn't remember the name!)

He's the only other one I remember with a Mustang avatar.

I feel depressed now. Looking through the old archives I saw over 100 posters that I recognize that haven't posted in over half a decade. A lot of people who added a lot of quality to the site have left us. It really is shocking just how few there are of us left.