Your best burn EVAR!
- Thread starter StonkThis
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dragon_of_red said:
those are my best, they are also fairly terrible, I almost never get into a situation where I can 'burn' someone, I just posted the ones I kept in my memory because I shut the people I hated the most up. I am not a complete asshole if that's what you got out of my post there.
You have NO IDEA how much I laughed at that, thanks for making my night.MaxChaos said:
A kid said he was going to try out for mascot, so I laughed. He responded with "what have you ever tried out for?" I said "Academic teams, AND I MADE THEM." He said "All you have to do is write for those." I said "and think." He said " and thats real hard." I said "must be, you've never done it."
and (not sure if this counts)
I said a freinds painting looked flat, so she said "Your mom looks flat." I said "Thats because she had breast cancer and a double mastectomy (which is true)." She kept quiet after that.
and (not sure if this counts)
I said a freinds painting looked flat, so she said "Your mom looks flat." I said "Thats because she had breast cancer and a double mastectomy (which is true)." She kept quiet after that.
StonkThis: "I was in music class and I walked up and made a random moaning kind of sound. A friend told me I sounded like a dying cow. I asked him if he'd really heard a dying cow. He said yes. I replied with "Sorry about your mother.""
Kafloobop: "My algebra teacher Mrs. Neal told the class she was pregnant so I said out loud "Oh my god! Do you know who the father is!?""
This is BRILLIANT STUFF. Oh man. I had a couple good ones, but the memories of them are buried in some dank corner of my skull, probably not to resurface for years.
Kafloobop: "My algebra teacher Mrs. Neal told the class she was pregnant so I said out loud "Oh my god! Do you know who the father is!?""
This is BRILLIANT STUFF. Oh man. I had a couple good ones, but the memories of them are buried in some dank corner of my skull, probably not to resurface for years.
My friend and I were once arguing about which one of us was fatter (this is a common occurence) I spouted off a comment that had all of my other friends laughing, I then proceeded to follow this up by declaring "Oh BURN, which is what you don't do to calories"
Not exactly mine but oh so related...624 said:
A friend of mine was having an argument with the GF of another friend over abortion. He was pestering her over why she was so violently pro-life when pro-choice is the better option due to his reasoning of 'just because you CAN doesn't mean you WILL'. None of us especially liked this girl so the burn was extra special at the time.
Her reasoning:
"I'm pro-life because my mom almost decided to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me and didn't."
His response:
"If you're the result of your mom's choice to have you then I'm switching from pro-choice to pro-death."
One time I gave my brother one of those super hot fireball candies (can't remember the name). I told him it was a cherry-flavored gumball hahahaha
me and a friend of mine was sitting around in the computer room of the nearby social center (i dont know the exact english word for it, but lets just call it that) when 2 people i know came up and started goofing around like crazy loud.
me and my friend then proceeded to go downstairs and ask 1 of the people working there to make them shut up or something.
when we return and tell ´em, they immediatly calls us "stikkere" (the danish word for a more rude version of a backstabber (my library of english is too small to come with an exact wording)).
i immediatly replied "your mom´s a backstabber and your father likes it rough".
me and my friend left in tears of laughter.
either that or when i said "må kraften være med dig (may the cancer/force be with you)" (in danish, cancer and force/power is pronounced and written the same way) to a girl who´s mom died of cancer a month earlier.
needless to say, i lol´d.
me and my friend then proceeded to go downstairs and ask 1 of the people working there to make them shut up or something.
when we return and tell ´em, they immediatly calls us "stikkere" (the danish word for a more rude version of a backstabber (my library of english is too small to come with an exact wording)).
i immediatly replied "your mom´s a backstabber and your father likes it rough".
me and my friend left in tears of laughter.
either that or when i said "må kraften være med dig (may the cancer/force be with you)" (in danish, cancer and force/power is pronounced and written the same way) to a girl who´s mom died of cancer a month earlier.
needless to say, i lol´d.