Your best, cheesy, in game one-liners

[NUMAN01D]

Ahah, this reminds me of a time long ago... not really a one liner maybe...

Was sat in a 'net cafe playing Call of Duty; United Offensive with some of the other guys in the room. I had taken my glasses off briefly and was casually playing.
This old dude who must've been using the internet was leaving, saw me playing a war game and exclaimed "Shoot him in the jugular!"

Without thinking much, I said;

"I've got a better idea..."
*puts glasses on and looks at him*
"... I'll aim for the neck"

Maybe a had-to-be-there thing, but people laughed and he got pissed at me for not knowing my physiology.... still!

 

[Hurray Forums]

On TF2 one of our medics was complaining at a soldier for charging the enemy front lines before he could get his Uber filled all the way.

"Sounds like the patient...ran out of patience". There was much groaning over voice chat.

 

[Johnny Cain]

Using the SAM launcher in Battlefield 2 to swat planes out of the sky. Global chat was graced with my deliciously corny line:

"It's a no fly zone baby."

 

[Enigmers]

Well, I was playing a round of Unreal Tournament 3 online, and there was this guy called "The_Dentist' who was basically acting like an asshole and spamming the voice chat.

I had a sniper rifle, and I zoomed in on his head when he was sniping someone as well, I then said over voice chat "Hey dentist" "What?" "OPEN WIDE" and shot him in the face.

I felt like a bad 80's action hero.

I hope by bad you mean badass, that sounds pretty awesome.

 

[Deathman101]

"Fuck, I just got terrorist on my boot"

 

[Hugh Mann]

So this one time I was fighting this dude in the rain onboard this ship to avenge my father, I think his name was The_Dentist, and he totally had me pinned on the ground, and so I grabbed his throat, and ripped it out while screaming at inappropriate levels, after he fell on the ground I lit a cigarette and sneered," That was for Furburt." Then everything exploded forever.

 

[Doinstuffman38]

Playing Resistance: Fall Of Man online against a cocky little asshole With the name Satan_bows_to_me, or somethng like that. He spawn kills then

Satan_bows_to_me: "Yeah ***** thats why the devil bows to ME!"

Me: "Oh yeah.......well God sucks my dick"

Then I sniped him.

I like it.

During Gears 2 sessions, whenever I get a headshot with a sniper rifle, I always have the urge to yell "KA-BOOSH!!!" at the top of my lungs.

 

[MazzaTheFirst]

So I was playing Serious Sam (See where this is going already?), and when I see the final boss in The First Encounter I said, "Well, looks like things are getting pretty *puts on glasses* serious." Except without the glasses. The instant I said that I started crying tears of laughter.

 

[CronosYamato]

I was playing WoW with a few of my friends and we were raiding Naxramas, the new one in WOTLK, not sure if it matters. WEll, we got to the boss with the "dance" gimic, can't remember the name. All is going well until the second dance phase, when half the raid wipes. We manage to kill the boss anyway, after a few more deaths, and only the people on my FL and a few others managed to survive. My friend looks around and says "wow, they can't dance." over voice. I instantly reply back. "We can dance if we want to, and we can leave those guys behind, because if they can't dance and if they won't dance,then they're no friends of mine" in a half-singing voice. I felt good.

 

[CJ1145]

Was playing on Aliens Vs. Predator (the new one) and I was a Predator. (Username DarkKnight) I was spending the whole game chasing after this one Marine. At one point I get cocky and try to run up and get him, but he melees me and I fall off a ledge. So I'm standing there hiding as the guy is firing just above my head, apparently he can't quite see me.

Then out of nowhere he says "Yeah, I know where you are. Not so tough now, are you noob?"

I then responded in the Kevin Conroy impression I could.

"Noob? I am VENGEANCE!" I leap up and get behind him.

"I am THE NIGHT!" Strong attack, stuns him.

"I! AM! BATMAN!" I grab him and rip his skull out.

It's not often you get a standing ovation in a video game. I was so proud *sniff*

 

[Parallel Streaks]

On Mass Effect 2 when you first encounter a Harbinger Collector thingy, I was having a bit of trouble with him, so I took out that heavy weapon which fires ice, killed him, and said in a very serious voice "Time to cool off, bug-brain!". Then me and Garrus high-fived.

 

[masakoz]

Energy swords on Halo are great for Star Wars one liners. I was killed by a friend, and after I respawned started saying "You killed my father".. I was stabbed shortly afterwards, with the predictable line of "No Joe, I AM your father". Both of us laughed far more than was appropriate for such a terrible joke...

Or there's the Gears 2 level where you get to fly on the reavers. Straight away to my team-mate "Hey, have you heard?"
"Heard what?"
"A-well-a-bird, bird, bird, bird is the word..."

And the obligatory "Boom, headshot" when headshots occur.

here a better one the next time your on the reavers"stay on target, stay on target"

 

[theguitarhero6]

In Duke Nukem: Time to Kill, i vaguely remember a scene where he runs across some sheep humping and says something along the lines of "Hmm... Must not be virgin wool." Once again, Duke Nukem ftw.

 

[Benj17]

Well, I was playing a round of Unreal Tournament 3 online, and there was this guy called "The_Dentist' who was basically acting like an asshole and spamming the voice chat.

I had a sniper rifle, and I zoomed in on his head when he was sniping someone as well, I then said over voice chat "Hey dentist" "What?" "OPEN WIDE" and shot him in the face.

I felt like a bad 80's action hero.

You can do the same with a gynecologist

 

[Benj17]

Duke Nukem : Land of the Babes

the 3rd level when he starts singing Stairway to heaven when climbing the ladder

I also learnt the word Fugly off Duke Nukem

 

[Lou]

Me and a mate played Borderlands, and he found an identical Eridian shotgun (Lightning shotgun) to the one I had.

I immediatly did a Caruso oneliner.

Well I guess.. Lightning strikes twice..

YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH

 

[Kushin]

Was playing on Aliens Vs. Predator (the new one) and I was a Predator. (Username DarkKnight) I was spending the whole game chasing after this one Marine. At one point I get cocky and try to run up and get him, but he melees me and I fall off a ledge. So I'm standing there hiding as the guy is firing just above my head, apparently he can't quite see me.

Then out of nowhere he says "Yeah, I know where you are. Not so tough now, are you noob?"

I then responded in the Kevin Conroy impression I could.

"Noob? I am VENGEANCE!" I leap up and get behind him.

"I am THE NIGHT!" Strong attack, stuns him.

"I! AM! BATMAN!" I grab him and rip his skull out.

It's not often you get a standing ovation in a video game. I was so proud *sniff*

You sir, fucking win. Batman and murder, my two favourite things.

 

[CoverYourHead]

Back in my Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory days (my favorite multiplayer in the history of video games, by the way. Makes me cry myself to sleep every night when Ubi refuses to bring it back) whenever I grabbed a merc whilst playing as a spy, before killing them, I would whisper "Gotta watch your back, son."

Also, once upon a time, when it was me v. three mercs one guy was recklessly taunting me (I was creaming them, so I decided to play a little recklessly so they wouldn't rage quit), I dropped down on his buddy next to him, then grabbed him, said "I'm more powerful than you can possibly imagine." and snapped his neck. I then won the match.

I really miss that game.