Your Best Conversation Killer?

[TerribleAssassin]

Anyone else touch themselves whilst watching the news?


It always goes silent.

 

[bliebblob]

If it's not a gamer, mention you play world of warcraft. It has roughly the same effect as mentioning you do crack.

No really try sitting on a bus and casually talk about wow to a buddy. You wouldn't believe the shocked looks you get.

Also: "YES that's a FASCINATING story and BEAUTIFULLY told but..." You can end that sentence with anything really.

 

[plank_man180]

I open mouth kissed a horse once. Tastes like your mother's kisses.

 

[Kristoffer Mattila]

Obligatory response
My personal favorite is to simply drop my pants.

EDIT: link fixed

Ninja'd

 

[William MacKay]

'you look like a murderer. who did you kill? come on. tell us.'
will not work on my friends. i need new friends. or
'can you come into this dark corridor with me so i can show you my bat. it has a nail through it now. also, its soundproof.

 

[William MacKay]

Spoiler: WARNING - most disgusting commentary ever, seriously, if you read this, it's at you own risk, do not come complaining afterwards.

"Hey, did you know that sex always works to create the most horrible events? You have like 'the big five', it goes like this: rape, pedophilia, necrophilia, incest and bestiality. But the funny thing is, you can never have all of them at once. For example, you can always make a combo out of rape, necrophilia and pedophilia, but you'll always have to choose between incest and bestiality. Because you can have sexual intercourse with a dead baby mammal, but you'll have to choose between sexual intercourse with your own dead daughter or sexual intercourse with a dead puppy, you can't have both. Well, not a the same time at least."

Say it in a somewhat casual manner, works like a charm.

is it worrying that i've had this discussion?

 

[Jabberwock xeno]

2 camels in a tiny car.

If you don't get the reference, you need to be watching equals 3. Now.

 

[Eatbrainz]

BY CHRIST MY ARSE IS INCREDIBLY ITCHY! COULD DO WITH A DAMN GOOD *SCRATCH*!

 

[Cazza]

I just wanted to point out that I'm not listening.

Anything like that.

 

[Nephus]

"Are you a furry?"

Why is it that just tends to get me laid? Still, effectively ends the conversation, so I guess I'll give you that.

 

[Doclector]

"y'know, it just ain't a party...until somebody dies."

 

[toughguyjoe]

Here goes nothing.

"So my wife, she had the messiest abortion..."

 

[FalloutJack]

My hovercraft is full of eels. No.

And that was when I tampered with the DNA evidence. Nnnope.

Ah, here we go...

"This is the final...the very last straw! WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! WHO ARE YOU?! HUH?!??!?!"

 

[larysalove]

"I don't care about the Phillies."

Well, it works rather well here in Philadelphia.

Also, "G-I-A-N-T-S, Giants Giants Giants!"

Also applicable could be the cowboys, the yankees, and Sidney Crosby.

 

[faspxina]

"I love you"

 

[Rayne870]

"I should go"

Usually I just tell people I really don't care about people or their conversation.

 

[Kenni-chan]

I find farting then laughing works best

 

[hobohazard]

my dog can lick his but and i can lick my dogs but but i dont.

the end

 

[Valdus]

Excuse me, my phones ringing
*holds TV remote to ear*