i loved that movie, specially the part where an officer stops them and asks that all the insults that are written on the side of the truck are to be written in french because of the laws pertraining the "2 official languages"Canid117 said:Don't forget they say "Please" too much. For other Canadian stereotypes see:Soviet Heavy said:
If stereotype status depends on how true it is I am pretty sure none of what you just said is a stereotype.Outright Villainy said:
All your words end with 'ur'Mechsoap said:
Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
Oh it's on!awesomeClaw said:Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
(Translated from swedish using google translate)
A Swede is sitting and eating breakfast at a cafe.
Alongside him sits a Norwegian who´s chewing gum.
Uncouth launches the Norwegian:
-Do you swedes eat the whole bread?
The swede reluctantly puts down his breakfast and answers:
-Yes, of course!
Norwegian plays with the gum in his mouth and says:
-We do this not with us, in Norway, we eat only the innermost of the bread.
The edges are collected in a container, processed and shaped into croissants and sold to Sweden.
The Norwegian also asks:
-You eat jam to the bread also?
The Swede responds irritated:
-Yes, of course.
While the Norwegian is loudly chewing his gum, he says:
-Not with us, in Norway, we eat only fresh fruit for breakfast. The shells and the remains are collected in a container, processed the jam and sold to Sweden.
Now the Swede's turn to ask:
-Tell me something, do you have sex in Norway?
Norwegian smiles and answers:
-Yes, of course, we have sex.
The Swede leans over the table and asks:
-What do you do with the condoms after you use them?
"We throw them away!"replies the Norwegian.
-Not with us, "said the Swede, in Sweden, we collect all the used condoms in a container, processing them, melting them and selling them to Norway as chewing gum.
OT: Well, since i´m swedish (and male) i´m petite, skinny, blonde, has a sexy accent, have sex alot and i am also very polite.
Oh, you son of a-Jonluw said:Oh it's on!awesomeClaw said:Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
(Translated from swedish using google translate)
A Swede is sitting and eating breakfast at a cafe.
Alongside him sits a Norwegian who´s chewing gum.
Uncouth launches the Norwegian:
-Do you swedes eat the whole bread?
The swede reluctantly puts down his breakfast and answers:
-Yes, of course!
Norwegian plays with the gum in his mouth and says:
-We do this not with us, in Norway, we eat only the innermost of the bread.
The edges are collected in a container, processed and shaped into croissants and sold to Sweden.
The Norwegian also asks:
-You eat jam to the bread also?
The Swede responds irritated:
-Yes, of course.
While the Norwegian is loudly chewing his gum, he says:
-Not with us, in Norway, we eat only fresh fruit for breakfast. The shells and the remains are collected in a container, processed the jam and sold to Sweden.
Now the Swede's turn to ask:
-Tell me something, do you have sex in Norway?
Norwegian smiles and answers:
-Yes, of course, we have sex.
The Swede leans over the table and asks:
-What do you do with the condoms after you use them?
"We throw them away!"replies the Norwegian.
-Not with us, "said the Swede, in Sweden, we collect all the used condoms in a container, processing them, melting them and selling them to Norway as chewing gum.
OT: Well, since i´m swedish (and male) i´m petite, skinny, blonde, has a sexy accent, have sex alot and i am also very polite.
There once was this Norwegian who had to undergo brain surgery. Before the surgery he was told that there was a risk that they would damage his brain in the process. He still agreed to go with the surgery though.
After the surgery, the doctors confronted the man and said there had been a mishap.
"We're sorry to inform you that we had an accident during the surgery. We accidentally removed half your brain. If you want, we could try to perform some surgery to recreate part of your brain, however you will never be the same."
To which the man replied:
"Neej, jag tycker det er bra så her."
Oh? Several at a time now? Very well!awesomeClaw said:Oh, you son of a-Jonluw said:Oh it's on!awesomeClaw said:Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
(Translated from swedish using google translate)
A Swede is sitting and eating breakfast at a cafe.
Alongside him sits a Norwegian who´s chewing gum.
Uncouth launches the Norwegian:
-Do you swedes eat the whole bread?
The swede reluctantly puts down his breakfast and answers:
-Yes, of course!
Norwegian plays with the gum in his mouth and says:
-We do this not with us, in Norway, we eat only the innermost of the bread.
The edges are collected in a container, processed and shaped into croissants and sold to Sweden.
The Norwegian also asks:
-You eat jam to the bread also?
The Swede responds irritated:
-Yes, of course.
While the Norwegian is loudly chewing his gum, he says:
-Not with us, in Norway, we eat only fresh fruit for breakfast. The shells and the remains are collected in a container, processed the jam and sold to Sweden.
Now the Swede's turn to ask:
-Tell me something, do you have sex in Norway?
Norwegian smiles and answers:
-Yes, of course, we have sex.
The Swede leans over the table and asks:
-What do you do with the condoms after you use them?
"We throw them away!"replies the Norwegian.
-Not with us, "said the Swede, in Sweden, we collect all the used condoms in a container, processing them, melting them and selling them to Norway as chewing gum.
OT: Well, since i´m swedish (and male) i´m petite, skinny, blonde, has a sexy accent, have sex alot and i am also very polite.
There once was this Norwegian who had to undergo brain surgery. Before the surgery he was told that there was a risk that they would damage his brain in the process. He still agreed to go with the surgery though.
After the surgery, the doctors confronted the man and said there had been a mishap.
"We're sorry to inform you that we had an accident during the surgery. We accidentally removed half your brain. If you want, we could try to perform some surgery to recreate part of your brain, however you will never be the same."
To which the man replied:
"Neej, jag tycker det er bra så her."
It´s on now!
You know why the norweigan eat so little caviar?
They can´t get their tongue into the tube.
The norweigan life guard to his companion.
"Unusually nice guests we got today."
"Really? How come?"
"At least seven of them have waived to me."
Two norweigans are discussing the possibility of flying to the sun.
"Won´t it get very hot?"
"No, of course not, stupid! We´ll fly at night!"
Two norweigan men:
"Can you imagine, that in USA, a person get´s runover every fifteen minutes?"
"Wow! He can´t feel very well!"
C´mon! Show me your moves, Mr oil man!
Nice ones! But can you stand the might of these?!Jonluw said:Oh? Several at a time now? Very well!awesomeClaw said:Oh, you son of a-Jonluw said:Oh it's on!awesomeClaw said:Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
(Translated from swedish using google translate)
A Swede is sitting and eating breakfast at a cafe.
Alongside him sits a Norwegian who´s chewing gum.
Uncouth launches the Norwegian:
-Do you swedes eat the whole bread?
The swede reluctantly puts down his breakfast and answers:
-Yes, of course!
Norwegian plays with the gum in his mouth and says:
-We do this not with us, in Norway, we eat only the innermost of the bread.
The edges are collected in a container, processed and shaped into croissants and sold to Sweden.
The Norwegian also asks:
-You eat jam to the bread also?
The Swede responds irritated:
-Yes, of course.
While the Norwegian is loudly chewing his gum, he says:
-Not with us, in Norway, we eat only fresh fruit for breakfast. The shells and the remains are collected in a container, processed the jam and sold to Sweden.
Now the Swede's turn to ask:
-Tell me something, do you have sex in Norway?
Norwegian smiles and answers:
-Yes, of course, we have sex.
The Swede leans over the table and asks:
-What do you do with the condoms after you use them?
"We throw them away!"replies the Norwegian.
-Not with us, "said the Swede, in Sweden, we collect all the used condoms in a container, processing them, melting them and selling them to Norway as chewing gum.
OT: Well, since i´m swedish (and male) i´m petite, skinny, blonde, has a sexy accent, have sex alot and i am also very polite.
There once was this Norwegian who had to undergo brain surgery. Before the surgery he was told that there was a risk that they would damage his brain in the process. He still agreed to go with the surgery though.
After the surgery, the doctors confronted the man and said there had been a mishap.
"We're sorry to inform you that we had an accident during the surgery. We accidentally removed half your brain. If you want, we could try to perform some surgery to recreate part of your brain, however you will never be the same."
To which the man replied:
"Neej, jag tycker det er bra så her."
It´s on now!
You know why the norweigan eat so little caviar?
They can´t get their tongue into the tube.
The norweigan life guard to his companion.
"Unusually nice guests we got today."
"Really? How come?"
"At least seven of them have waived to me."
Two norweigans are discussing the possibility of flying to the sun.
"Won´t it get very hot?"
"No, of course not, stupid! We´ll fly at night!"
Two norweigan men:
"Can you imagine, that in USA, a person get´s runover every fifteen minutes?"
"Wow! He can´t feel very well!"
C´mon! Show me your moves, Mr oil man!
Three Swedes are stranded on a desert island. While they're sitting there on the beach, they spot a lamp that is half buried in the sand. They pick it up and brush off some sand, and out comes a genie. The genie says:
"You have freed me from the confines of my lamp, as a token of my gratitude I will grant you one wish each."
"Sweet, now we can get away from here" thought the Swedes. The first one wished that he was smarter, so that he'd know how to swim and be able to swim back to the mainland.
"Granted!" Said the genie, and *poof* the Swede turned into a Dane, and promptly swam to the mainland.
The second one thought long and well, and decided: He wished to become even smarter than the last Swede.
"Granted!" Said the genie, and wouldn't you know it, with a poof the Swede turned into a Finn, made himself a raft, and sailed back to the mainland.
Now, only the last Swede was left. It didn't take him long to figure out that he would wish to be even smarter than the last one. And that was what he asked the genie for.
"Granted!" Said the genie, *poof* went the magic, and the Swede saw that he had turned into a Norwegian.
Then he crossed the bridge to the mainland.
...
Once, the Norwegian, the Dane and the Swede were on a trip in the forest. The Norwegian was deaf, the Dane was blind, and the Swede was paralyzed from the waist down. He sat in a wheelchair.
While walking and rolling respectively through the forest, the Norwegian came across a cave, in which he found a lamp. While standing in the cave, he figured to themselves he might as well rub it; and to his surprise a genie sprung forth.
A little later, the Norwegian came running out of the cave.
"Folkens, jeg kan høre! Jeg kan høre! En ånd oppfylte ønsket mitt!"[sub](Guys, I can hear! I can hear! A genie granted my wish!)[/sub]
Astonished, the Dane made his way into the cave, and sure enough, he came running out again:
"Jeg kan se! Jeg kan se!"[sub](I can see! I can see!)[/sub]
The Swede was impressed with these miracles, and decided to make his way into the cave as well. A little while later, he came out again:
"Kolla grabbar! Nya hjul!"[sub](Look guys! New wheels)[/sub]
Ah! A fellow swede! Help me in my battle! Posta några norgeskämt! Skynda dig! Innan dom köper upp landet med sina oljepengar! (Post some norway-jokes! Quickly! Before they buy up our country with their oil money!)Paxel said:
There once was a very cheap plane ride going from Stocholm to Oslo. The plane ride was so cheap because the plane had no floor, and everyone had to hang on to the plane by handles in the roof. There were 50 Swedes and 51 Norwegians on the plane.awesomeClaw said:Nice ones! But can you stand the might of these?!Jonluw said:Oh? Several at a time now? Very well!awesomeClaw said:Oh, you son of a-Jonluw said:Oh it's on!awesomeClaw said:Oh rly? Okay then, i declare joke-war on Norway! Take this:Jonluw said:Oh, yeah. But that's a very local stereotype. Norwegians are only viewed that way by Swedes and Danes.Sharalon said:
Also: Do you know why the backs of all Swedes' heads are so flat?
Because the lid keeps falling down while they're trying to drink.
(Translated from swedish using google translate)
A Swede is sitting and eating breakfast at a cafe.
Alongside him sits a Norwegian who´s chewing gum.
Uncouth launches the Norwegian:
-Do you swedes eat the whole bread?
The swede reluctantly puts down his breakfast and answers:
-Yes, of course!
Norwegian plays with the gum in his mouth and says:
-We do this not with us, in Norway, we eat only the innermost of the bread.
The edges are collected in a container, processed and shaped into croissants and sold to Sweden.
The Norwegian also asks:
-You eat jam to the bread also?
The Swede responds irritated:
-Yes, of course.
While the Norwegian is loudly chewing his gum, he says:
-Not with us, in Norway, we eat only fresh fruit for breakfast. The shells and the remains are collected in a container, processed the jam and sold to Sweden.
Now the Swede's turn to ask:
-Tell me something, do you have sex in Norway?
Norwegian smiles and answers:
-Yes, of course, we have sex.
The Swede leans over the table and asks:
-What do you do with the condoms after you use them?
"We throw them away!"replies the Norwegian.
-Not with us, "said the Swede, in Sweden, we collect all the used condoms in a container, processing them, melting them and selling them to Norway as chewing gum.
OT: Well, since i´m swedish (and male) i´m petite, skinny, blonde, has a sexy accent, have sex alot and i am also very polite.
There once was this Norwegian who had to undergo brain surgery. Before the surgery he was told that there was a risk that they would damage his brain in the process. He still agreed to go with the surgery though.
After the surgery, the doctors confronted the man and said there had been a mishap.
"We're sorry to inform you that we had an accident during the surgery. We accidentally removed half your brain. If you want, we could try to perform some surgery to recreate part of your brain, however you will never be the same."
To which the man replied:
"Neej, jag tycker det er bra så her."
It´s on now!
You know why the norweigan eat so little caviar?
They can´t get their tongue into the tube.
The norweigan life guard to his companion.
"Unusually nice guests we got today."
"Really? How come?"
"At least seven of them have waived to me."
Two norweigans are discussing the possibility of flying to the sun.
"Won´t it get very hot?"
"No, of course not, stupid! We´ll fly at night!"
Two norweigan men:
"Can you imagine, that in USA, a person get´s runover every fifteen minutes?"
"Wow! He can´t feel very well!"
C´mon! Show me your moves, Mr oil man!
Three Swedes are stranded on a desert island. While they're sitting there on the beach, they spot a lamp that is half buried in the sand. They pick it up and brush off some sand, and out comes a genie. The genie says:
"You have freed me from the confines of my lamp, as a token of my gratitude I will grant you one wish each."
"Sweet, now we can get away from here" thought the Swedes. The first one wished that he was smarter, so that he'd know how to swim and be able to swim back to the mainland.
"Granted!" Said the genie, and *poof* the Swede turned into a Dane, and promptly swam to the mainland.
The second one thought long and well, and decided: He wished to become even smarter than the last Swede.
"Granted!" Said the genie, and wouldn't you know it, with a poof the Swede turned into a Finn, made himself a raft, and sailed back to the mainland.
Now, only the last Swede was left. It didn't take him long to figure out that he would wish to be even smarter than the last one. And that was what he asked the genie for.
"Granted!" Said the genie, *poof* went the magic, and the Swede saw that he had turned into a Norwegian.
Then he crossed the bridge to the mainland.
...
Once, the Norwegian, the Dane and the Swede were on a trip in the forest. The Norwegian was deaf, the Dane was blind, and the Swede was paralyzed from the waist down. He sat in a wheelchair.
While walking and rolling respectively through the forest, the Norwegian came across a cave, in which he found a lamp. While standing in the cave, he figured to themselves he might as well rub it; and to his surprise a genie sprung forth.
A little later, the Norwegian came running out of the cave.
"Folkens, jeg kan høre! Jeg kan høre! En ånd oppfylte ønsket mitt!"[sub](Guys, I can hear! I can hear! A genie granted my wish!)[/sub]
Astonished, the Dane made his way into the cave, and sure enough, he came running out again:
"Jeg kan se! Jeg kan se!"[sub](I can see! I can see!)[/sub]
The Swede was impressed with these miracles, and decided to make his way into the cave as well. A little while later, he came out again:
"Kolla grabbar! Nya hjul!"[sub](Look guys! New wheels)[/sub]
Why do norweigans dress better then usual under lightning?
They think someone is taking pictures.
How do we know Tarzan was norweigans?
Well he was "the king of the apes"
Two swedes talking to eachother:
- "Do you know how you save a drowning norweigan?"
- "No?"
- "GOOD!"
Why do the norweigan crawl on the floor while shopping?
They´re looking for LOW prices.
A norweigan once met a big star on the street. He asked this one to sign his autograph on a piece of damaged paper.
- "Do you really want me to write it on such a damaged paper?" said the star.
- "Yes, i´ll re-write it when i get home!"
Not really Norwegian, but whatever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6Hndsyfn6M
