Your Culinary Hot Takes

[Xprimentyl]

The "Hot Takes" threads have been pretty popular of late (because who doesn't love offering unsolicited, unpopular opinions,) so here's one inspired by the "sandwich shaming" thread for FOOD hot takes!

Chicken-fried steak. I've been in Texas 11 years now, and when I first encountered chicken-friend steak, I was immediately put into a permanent bad mood. What the fuck? Chicken isn't the only "fried" food that it should qualify the frying process of other foods! And for good measure, another common menu item here is chicken-fried chicken. Yeah, fuck off.

Hard-shell tacos are the worst. There's no way successful way to eat them for them to be as popular as they are. The burrito nailed it; tacos should be burritos.

Potato/Egg/Tuna salad should not be a thing. In fact, any and all mayonnaise-based food stuffs should die in a fire.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

Cannibalism is ok as long as you don't eat the brain or bone marrow.

 

[Worgen]

Chicken-fried steak. I've been in Texas 11 years now, and when I first encountered chicken-friend steak, I was immediately put into a permanent bad mood. What the fuck? Chicken isn't the only "fried" food that it should qualify the frying process of other foods! And for good measure, another common menu item here is chicken-fried chicken. Yeah, fuck off.

I've lived here all my live and I have no idea why they call things 'chicken fried.' Plus, chicken fried steak is great, if you want to just ruin steak.

 

[Bedinsis]

Cooking with a recipe is always better than cooking without a recipe.

 

[laggyteabag]

Cannibalism is ok as long as you don't eat the brain or bone marrow.

This thread went from 0 to 100 very, very quickly

 

[Casual Shinji]

Oreos are shit. Like really, really, really, REALLY bad. I've had month old wafers that tasted better. Me being raised on American media, and how it presented America and everthing from it as the most awesomest ever, figured those Oreos must have something going for them, being as big of a brand in America as it is. I took one bite from my first Oreo ever, and it's like the cookie version of a garbage pail kid died in my mouth. I'll never take Prince or Lu for granted ever again.

 

[Xprimentyl]

I've lived here all my live and I have no idea why they call things 'chicken fried.' Plus, chicken fried steak is great, if you want to just ruin steak.

I've challenged many a native Texan on "chicken-fried" menu items, and you'd think I was questioning why water is wet for how incredulously my complaint has been received. It's superfluous and wholly unnecessary, but "chicken-fried" is a thing. It's like calling a baked potato a "bread-baked potato" or calling soup "water-boiled soup."

Cannibalism is ok as long as you don't eat the brain or bone marrow.

I think if you make it to the brain OR bone marrow, you've reached the point of no return anyway. I mean, you know how much fatty tissue and white meat you have to chew through to hit a bone? There's no turning back at that point; the blood is quite literally on your hands (and likely some bits under your fingernails and stuck between your teeth.)

Cooking with a recipe is always better than cooking without a recipe.

For me, I agree; I prefer to have a recipe when I cook. But being raised in a black household eating home cooking for decades, I can attest, some amazing shit goes down when you let an experience cook just do their thing. Several years ago, I visited home (Ohio) after being gone for a year or so, and my grandfather wanted to cook me something. He walked into my parents house and threw DOWN making a vegetable stew. Not a measuring cup in sight, just chopped veggies and eyeballed seasoning. 20 minutes later, he just drove off into the sunset, a massive pot roiling on the stove. I asked him later for the recipe, and he was about as descriptive as I was in this post. I don't know how he does it...

 

[Xprimentyl]

Oreos are shit. Like really, really, really, REALLY bad. I've had month old wafers that tasted better. Me being raised on American media, and how it presented America and everthing from it as the most awesomest ever, figured those Oreos must have something going for them, being as big of a brand in America as it is. I took one bite from my first Oreo ever, and it's like the cookie version of a garbage pail kid died in my mouth. I'll never take Prince or Lu for granted ever again.

Did you dip it in milk? Milk unlocks the Oreo's true potential. But eating them dry, yeah, they are a bit shit. Plus they get stuck in your teeth like nothing else; an "Oreo smile" is the stuff of nightmares.

 

[ObsidianJones]

Time to make some enemies.

You people who like cheese don't like food. You just like different mechanisms for delivering cheese into your mouths.

Think about it. If I put steak on apple pie, or steak on ice cream, or steak on cherries, you would think I was insane and that I have a problem.

But you people do it. For all of those things. Apple Pie and cheese, Cheddar Cheese ice Cream, Cheese with Cherries.

It's like you people can't enjoy food unless you can find a way to shove cheese in it some how.

 

[MrCalavera]

Coconut... Is actually good. And not only in thai food either. In desserts, cookies, cakes, Bounty bars, etc. It's a way more interesting "sweet" taste than vanilla.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Did you dip it in milk? Milk unlocks the Oreo's true potential. But eating them dry, yeah, they are a bit shit. Plus they get stuck in your teeth like nothing else; an "Oreo smile" is the stuff of nightmares.

I shall never disgrace milk like that.

 

[Bedinsis]

For me, I agree; I prefer to have a recipe when I cook. But being raised in a black household eating home cooking for decades, I can attest, some amazing shit goes down when you let an experienced cook just do their thing.

Oh, I meant in terms of me being part in the cooking. How other people do their cooking is up to them.

Since cheese was brought up: Cheeses with bigger holes in them taste better than cheeses with smaller holes in them.

 

[Xprimentyl]

Time to make some enemies.

You people who like cheese don't like food. You just like different mechanisms for delivering cheese into your mouths.

Think about it. If I put steak on apple pie, or steak on ice cream, or steak on cherries, you would think I was insane and that I have a problem.

But you people do it. For all of those things. Apple Pie and cheese, Cheddar Cheese ice Cream, Cheese with Cherries.

It's like you people can't enjoy food unless you can find a way to shove cheese in it some how.

I should have known you'd show up with this particular brand of blasphemy. Cheese is amazing and you're evil. (Though cheese ice cream... I'm out on. No Thanks.)

Since cheese was brought up: Cheeses with bigger holes in them taste better than cheeses with smaller holes in them.

Bigger holes mean less cheese, therefore big-holed cheese is objectively worse. Give me a solid block of sharp cheddar or muenster and a laxative for the aftermath, and I'm a happy camper.

 

[Chimpzy]

People who get up in arms about the "right" way to cook something should go fellate their Cuisinart. Whether pizza, or carbonara, or fried rice, or steak, or whatever. So long as it tastes bitchin, then it is bitchin.

Had real wagyu beef once. Meh, wasn't wowed. I've had regular ass supermarket steaks that were tastier.

 

[SilentPony]

I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided changing Rapeseed Oil to Canola Oil was the right call. Same with Chinese Gooseberries becoming Kiwi Fruit. Still not sure on Patagonian Toothfish becoming Chilean Seabass, both seem equally stupid and problematic.

 

[Worgen]

People who get up in arms about the "right" way to cook something should go fellate their Cuisinart. Whether pizza, or carbonara, or fried rice, or steak, or whatever. So long as it tastes bitchin, then it is bitchin.

Had real wagyu beef once. Meh, wasn't wowed. I've had regular ass supermarket steaks that were tastier.

Sliced thin for sammich wagyu is really good. Beats normal roast beef and I like roast beef.

I've challenged many a native Texan on "chicken-fried" menu items, and you'd think I was questioning why water is wet for how incredulously my complaint has been received. It's superfluous and wholly unnecessary, but "chicken-fried" is a thing. It's like calling a baked potato a "bread-baked potato" or calling soup "water-boiled soup."

I think 'chicken fried' is just a trap so people accidently order chicken fried steak thinking it will be chicken.

My hot-take. A lot of sea food is gross. Crab is nasty, lobster is nasty, shark is nasty, sword fish is ok but way over rated for killing something as majestic as a sword fish. Also, why do people like salmon, its also gross.

 

[Xprimentyl]

People who get up in arms about the "right" way to cook something should go fellate their Cuisinart. Whether pizza, or carbonara, or fried rice, or steak, or whatever. So long as it tastes bitchin, then it is bitchin.

Had real wagyu beef once. Meh, wasn't wowed. I've had regular ass supermarket steaks that were tastier.

Food snobs can be the worst. I've a "friend" who fancies himself a "chef" because over the years, he has amassed quite a bit of cooking knowledge with no official training, and yes, he is a good cook, but every time he comes over, he tries to turn our meal into a lesson. Like, dude, what we're cooking is palatable if not delicious; your "right way" can fuck right off and saps all the joy out of cooking together. He knows the best way to boil water, apparently, and no one wants to hear about it less than I do.

Also, I've never been an expert on beefs, but after having waygu multiple times... I don't get the hype. It's good, but not exceptional in any appreciable way. I've had Outback steaks that are better than waygu. My girlfriend make a badass brisket, and she buys the waygu which is like three times as expensive thinking she's getting the "best meat," and I try to to tell her she shouldn't bother; her normal brisket kicks as much ass as the expensive shit.

My hot-take. A lot of sea food is gross. Crab is nasty, lobster is nasty, shark is nasty, sword fish is ok but way over rated for killing something as majestic as a sword fish. Also, why do people like salmon, its also gross.

Take it easy on salmon; that shit's delicious. Smoked? Oh, my God, yes, please. But I'm with you on most other seafoods. I've come around over the past few years and will eat a lot of seafoods, but you'll rarely fine me craving it. When I do, it's usually a bite or two before I'm over it. And I won't eat oysters on the half shell. Just no.

 

[Worgen]

Take it easy on salmon; that shit's delicious. Smoked? Oh, my God, yes, please. But I'm with you on most other seafoods. I've come around over the past few years and will eat a lot of seafoods, but you'll rarely fine me craving it. When I do, it's usually a bite or two before I'm over it. And I won't eat oysters on the half shell. Just no.

Eww, nah, salmon is gross, its all oily and has this weird taste too it. Give me catfish or talapia or even cod sometimes. Also, yeah oysters, why do people like eating snot?

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Sushi with raw stuff in it is gross, and that weird fish sauce that sometimes goes with sushi is truly revolting. Just go suck on a fish if you wanna taste it that badly

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

You people who like cheese don't like food. You just like different mechanisms for delivering cheese into your mouths.

I plead "guilty", Your Honor. Now please pass that bowl of nachos.