Your own league (also, first thread)

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SomeLameStuff

What type of steak are you?
Apr 26, 2009
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Alex Mercer - [Prototype]
Starkiller - Star Wars Force Unleashed
Cole McGrath - inFAMOUS
Sephiroth - Final Fantasy
Aang - Avatar the Last Airbender
Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 BC version 4.0 beta - the AVGN

EDIT: one more

Sam Fisher - Splinter Cell
 

The Iron Ninja

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Aug 13, 2008
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How many in a league?
Oh, I see the minimum of five rule now.

Rutherford B. Hayes (Either still alive if we're back in the 19th century or in zombie president form if in the present day)
For all my anti-Chuck Norris needs.
Also has a pretty damn good beard that I can stroke for good luck.
Zombie form would have the added bonus of being able to remove his own arm and throw it at people.

A 19th century explorer called Hopkins
Wears Khaki safari outfit. Also has a pith helmet, monocle, hunting rifle and a glorious moustache.
Thus, he is the bane of every god fearing animal on the whole fucking planet.

A Border Collie named Rosco.
Because Border Collies are cute.

A young plains Indian boy named Round Bear
Basically the stereotypical Indian guide who knows the ways of the land, except really fat.

A crab that sits upon my shoulder and offers an even mix of thought provoking insight and snide remarks about my failures and faults
I have a particular one in mind, but if it's the 19th century, it wouldn't be alive yet. So one of it's ancestors will do fine. It has to be red though.

And me. That's six, but the crab is a given part of my presence anyway, so it counts.


Dr.Sean said:
War Penguin said:
Erana said:
Welcome to the Escapist, and thanks for the good grammar and OP. The only thing is that people here have a stigma agianst repeat threads, so next time, use the search bar in the upper right.
As for my team, I've got to think about this, but I know Paula Deane is in it.
Crap. I remade a previous thread? Well, thanks for the welcome and starting of the thread.
Don't listen to him, the cancerous Search-Bar trolls are everywhere. It's best just to ignore them.
Cancerous search Bar trolls?
That's not a term I hear often.
 

goldenjester

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Feb 3, 2009
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-Kyo from King of Fighters
-The dude from Second Sight
-Jack Black
-Sarah Palin with her Moose-gun and Moose-Knife.
-Yellow Ranger.
 

Azazcyh

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Jul 3, 2008
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-Jesus
-buddha
-muhammad
-krishna
-Joseph Smith
-lao su
-Sea man

Someone had to do it...
 

Artemis923

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Dec 25, 2008
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pimppeter2 said:
I've been aroung long enough to see threads like XBOX IS SUXXORS AND M$ IS CASH WHORE.
That, good sir, was absurdly funny and made me rofl. XD

As for an uber-team...

Drizzt Do'Urden
Artemis Entreri
Thor
Spawn
Tyrion Lannister
 

Lonko

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Jun 3, 2009
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My league would consist of the following individuals:

Even given my obvious fanboyism, there's no doubt that Samus belongs on this list. Responsible for multiple genocides and the destruction of more than one planet, this woman is a stone cold ***** who will kill you if you get in her way. Don't believe me? Just ask the next Zoomer you see. You can't, though, because she destroyed their homeworld.

When asked who is the most powerful schoolgirl in anime, some would say Haruhi Suzumiya (aka God). I beg to differ. Haruhi might be able to destroy the universe and remake it as desired, but can she control any of it? Does she have any discipline, even the slightest hint of control of even awareness regarding her powers? Didn't think so. Yuki, on the other hand, is in complete control of the situation. Every situation. At all times. To put it simply, she hacks the universe. Her analytical skills are completely unmatched and unmatchable.

Also known as Hitokiri Battousai, this man is, in his universe at least, single-handedly responsible for bringing about the Meiji Restoration. This man wields his blunt katana at superhuman speeds, capable of defeating an opponent - nonfatally - before they're aware that there's a fight.

Known in Japanese as Son Goku (yes, that [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonball] Goku), the Monkey King is the Chinese equivalent of Jesus. On steroids. Minus the altruism. Anybody remember Goku's extendo-pole? Sun Wukong's version is called the Ruyi Jingu Bang, and weighs over 7 tons. Sun Wukong wields it with ease. When not using it, he shrinks it to the size of a needle and tucks it safely behind his ear. Every single one of his hairs is magical, being able to turn into a weapon, animal, object, or a clone of himself. To include him would be to overshadow the entire rest of my team; to exclude him would be pure idiocy.

Often known simply as Jack Churchill, or more commonly "Mad Jack", this man has the distinction of being the only real person in my league. And with good reason. An Englishman with a love of all things Scottish, this WWII soldier fought primarily with a bow and a claymore. When asked about his sword by a general, he famously remarked that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed". This man was never improperly dressed, and that bow and sword weren't for show. On one notable occasion, he crept into a German-occupied town and captured 42 soldiers with that sword. He also, of course, was an avid bagpiper, and once, when surrounded by the advancing Germans and out of things with which to kill them, played sad songs on his bagpipes (which he had taken with him on a commando mission) while he waited.
 

R.O.

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Mar 13, 2008
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I'm gonna make my league, the league of all leagues.

James Bond 007
Francis Bacon
Copernicus
King Tut
Cheng I Sao (greatest pirate woman ever)
and to make this list unstoppable Miyamoto Musashi

Ok, now you can stop posting because there is no way in hell you can top this list. Sorry, I had to shut it down.
 

R.O.

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Mar 13, 2008
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Ok now for the guy who picked Jesus and Buddha. King Tut alone can hold down Jesus, Buddha, Satan, and all those dudes. So I canceled pretty much your whole list right there. Then Miyamoto would take care of entire armies alone. Cheng I Sao could handle lists of leagues on her own and all Chinese leaguers. Copernicus can hold down Newton and Einstein. Bacon knows what's going on at all times. And Bond is the double agent that can destroy any league from the inside and turn any female leaguer over to his side.
 

Bat Vader

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Mar 11, 2009
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My league would consist of:

1. Sean Connery.

2. Rorschach.

3. Dr. Manhattan.

4. Alucard (Hellsing)

5. Gandalf The White.

6. The One Ring.

7. Myself.
 

Layzor

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Feb 18, 2009
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Barraka- Combat
Sargeant Cortez- Firepower
JC Denton- Guns + stealth
Johnny Bravo-Charisma
Dexter from Dexter's lab-Intelligence
Kirby- Leader
 

Layzor

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Feb 18, 2009
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War Penguin said:
Okay, okay. I know I made the freaking mistake in the title. Sheesh.
Sorry.
Don't worry about making mistakes this isn't university, fuck anyone who trolls you.
 

R.O.

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Mar 13, 2008
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No I'm not done gof22! Ok let's base this in Watchmen. Someone is taking out masks again. Dan tries to contact Rorschach but when Rorschach tries to get back to him and Spectre, he can't reach them or even Ozy. So Rorschach tells Dr. Manhattan. This time Manhattan believes him. Who is doing it? King Tut of course. He killed Ozy, Dan, and Silk Spectre, assembled the League of All Leagues and is now in total control of earth. Manhattan knows Tut is no joke, so he assembles a heroic force from all dimensions, space, and time including gof22. King Tut has prophesized this battle, so I am also including to tell the tale.

Manhattan sends Connery dressed up as Bond to infiltrate Tut's navy controlled by Cheng I Sao. Manhattan turns Connery into the younger Bond, almost an exact duplicate. Cheng is with Tut but always had an eye on Bond. Connery seduces Cheng and convinces her to betray Tut. He takes pictures and sends them to Tut who is furious and is out for Bonds head.

Meanwhile the real Bond and Bacon are out on a mission to destroy those pesky Somali pirates. Copernicus, usually with Tut, gets the word out fast to Bacon that Tut is after Bond's head for sleeping with Cheng. Since both Bond and Bacon know that nothing of the sort has occurred they know something is up. Copernicus says Tut sensed a threat coming due to his prophetic dream walking and Copernicus has observed the motion of the stars. He tells Bacon that according to some huge events in the Solar System, something on a galactic scale is threatening their power. Both Bacon and Bond know that the whole earth is up for grabs and their one cosmic leader, Tut, is incapacitated.

On Manhattan's side, things are off to a promising start but there are huge problems among the ranks. Alucard and Gandalf are at each other's throats because Alucard is running a rampage sucking the blood of everyone he can. Without a Helsing to control him, it is taking Gandalf's full strength to hold him off and even that is not enough. Manhattan sends a double to assist him, but Alucard is immortal and keeps causing problems. Rorschach is skeptical about the whole missions success because he thinks that a group this size is Manhattan's funny attempt at reconnecting with humans after being gone so long and also a huge publicity stunt. He is also still sore at Manhattan for blasting him to a different dimension and then bringing him back just when he was getting used to a life without pain and suffering. He splits from the group to find out more about Tut, the missing masks, and what is truly going on. Continued on the next post.
 

Kinguendo

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Apr 10, 2009
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The team of suck:

1. Mr Potatoe Head. - The Leader
2. Dora the Explorer. - The Navigation
3. A postbox with a sausage stapled to it, made by McGuiver after a labotomy. - The Brains
4. The Artist Formely Known as Prince. - The Charisma
5. Shaken can of Coca Cola. - The Muscle
 

R.O.

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Mar 13, 2008
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Continuation of the Battle of the Leagues part deux

gof22 is in charge of the One Ring. He is of pure heart and able to control it's mighty power. He tags along with Rorschach who doesn't notice that he is there.

Bacon and Bond are responsible for the deaths of most of the superheroes through dirty espionage and assassination. They double back to Dan's apartment to check his phone log, to see if he called anyone before he was assassinated. Bacon checks the caller id, sees the number. He deduces that it is a payphone number in Brooklyn because he knows all facts. He gives Copernicus the number who uses his superior math skills and ultimate planetary orbit knowledge to calculate who Dan called, which they realize is Rorshach. Just when they figure it out, Rorschach steps into Dan's door along with gof22. Rorshach takes out Bacon easily. Bond and Rorschach fight it out but gof22 intervenes slowing down Bond somewhat. Bacon deduces that someone else invisible is helping Rorschach. Bond is getting beat because gof22 is holding his hands from fighting back. Bacon deduces the position of the invisible man and knocks him out with a lamp. Bond is about to pull out his gun. Rorschach runs, jumps out the window, but takes a shot to his arm before escaping. Bacon and Bond capture the invisible man and agree to take him to Copernicus for some interrogation.

Back at Coperincuses secret lab, Bond and Bacon torture gof22 until he gives them all the information he knows about Manhattan and his plans. Copernicus reports this back to Tut who is once again pissed off. He secretly contacts Cheng forgiving her adultery while also telling her she is sleeping with the wrong Bond. Cheng is pissed. She has her men capture Connery Bond and they torture him for more information before killing him. Cont. next post.
 

R.O.

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Mar 13, 2008
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Cont of Battle of the Leagues Tut Strikes Back

The League of All Leagues assemble. Cheng is rebuked and laughed at but not too much because her fury knows no bonds and no man wants to be on her bad side. Musashi shows up, late as usual. Bacon and Copernicus are especially pissed. Bond and Musashi get along, Cheng rebukes Musashi in a grandmother sort of way. Tut straightens them out. He uses his ultimate dream powers to realize the exact threat, what is going to happen, how, and by who. He hooks up to the dream world and enters the mind of Gandalf and Alucard. Since they are not from his dimension, he banishes both of them. Tut banishes the One Ring next but he is unable to banish gof22 who is under Manhattan's power.

Rorshach makes it back to Manhattan telling him he was attacked by two men. Manhattan, as usual, already knows. He materializes himself and Rorschach to Tuts base. Rorschach, once again, takes out Bacon and duels with Bond (running joke, Bacon is smart but weak) Manhattan immobilizes Musashi and Cheng instantly. Tut and Copernicus make run for it. I am witnessing the whole thing reluctant to get myself involved from a secret chamber used by Copernicus. Bond and Rorschach have it out. Bond gets his arm broken. Rorschach gets his finger broken and his mask taken off. Rorschach chokes Bond. Bond jabs a fork from an overturned table into his eye. Rorschach jump off screaming. Bond gets up grabs his gun up, looks at the mask, points it at Rorschach and says "Tell me what you see" Then he puts 3 bullets into his chest killing him.

Copernicus tries the Ozy trick on Manhattan this time with planetary calculations. It almost works but Manhattan is still able to put himself back together. Tut comes out. They have talk about why he killed Ozy for power, blah, blah, blah. Manhattan is serious now though and blasts Tut for real shooting to kill. But it's all an illusion. Tut has already trapped Manhattan in his past through his dreams before he turned into a super human. Tut them kills his father in the dream right before shows up and breaks the watch. Manhattan is left stuck in a dream world never to become Manhattan even though he is. He is basically a vegetable.

Everything is over but it was a hard battle. gof22 is rebuked by Tut and sent back to his own dimension with his memories wiped. He still writes the list but he doesn't realize that I witnessed him and his league get destroyed.....by the League of All Leagues.
 

traceur_

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Feb 19, 2009
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The league of ultimate pwn.

Sonic
Shadow
Alex Mercer
Ryu Hayabusa
Nero
Dante
Lightning (FF XIII)
Cole McGrath
Jak
Master Chief
Altair
Ezio
Faith
Spider man
 

HT_Black

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May 1, 2009
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The league of extrordinarily creepy men:

1. The Phantom of the Opera
2. Ozzy Osborne
3. Jack Torrence
4. Norman Bates
5. Chainsaw Zombie (why the hell not?)

The leaque of ultimate badassery:
1. Deadpool
2. A big Daddy
3. Ezio Auditore da Firenze
4. Gandalf the Grey
5. Jesus (can't go wrong with that!)