I met this girl at university. We actually asked each other out at the same time I said, "Want to goto lunch with me at the Blue Hanger Cafe" to which she replied, "Want to goto the Josh Abbott concert tonight with me?" And we had a great time being with each other. Ended up we were perfect together, we both liked movies, her family loved me, we could go two-stepping at various cowboy bars and honky tonks, her friends were great, we could goto church together and generally made each other really happy. We loved just being around each other, it was great.
It was definately worth knowing her.
No, it didn't work out, she left me about 2 weeks ago completely out of the blue. Said, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now. But when I am, I'll call you first."
So we parted ways, and I'm waiting for that day she might call me up and we'll hit it off again.
In all honesty, I don't expect to see her again, but in the way Albert Camus put it, "The only good relationship is one that when the two are completely in Love and one of the two dies, that way you only have a wonderful memory of your former partner."
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Now to my rant... The problem with people and relationships today is that to many people are emotionally immature and won't realise nor admit their short coming. This leads to struggles between two people, or "mucho drama" as I like to put it.
If people would take a step back and tell themselves, "I'm just being stupid about this, how does this look to someone else" then alot of really awesome things happen. Namely, you won't try to tear your self apart over one phone call or text message. Also, humour helps everything.
Now, a couple of things I've realised in my own relationships that I'll share with you. The "pouring your heart out" to a girl is never a good idea, especially on first encounters. It's like playing poker and always laying your cards face up on the table, you don't have anything else to give after that. The allure of the majestic and unknown is what attracts a woman to you seven times out of ten.
Next, movies are just that movies; the stuff that happens in them never happen in real life, so get that idea out of your skull. Stop, no and don't; if it happened in a movie, it probably won't work for you.
Continuing on this thought process, never date anyone that makes a big deal out of stupid little things. In all honesty, someone who nit-picks or can't take brief inconsistancies will be all hell to get into a relationship with.
Furthermore, don't ever change yourself for anyone. Just don't do it, at all. You'll just end up unhappy. Plus, woman like a guy who's independent and confident, don't cave on things you feel strongly about. Additionally, and importanly, if you're wrong about something, say so. It's okay to not be perfect, no one should expect you to.
Sex, I'll touch on this briefly, for I know people will go into an uproar. Don't base any relationship prior to marriage off sex. It should not be the sustaining part of the relationship, it should be something that adds to the affection you already have towards your partner. In other words, if everytime you see your girl you have sex, you might want to reconsider if you're in the relationship for the sex or for having a companion. I've been in relationships of both extremes just trust me on this.
So, change it up a bit, don't get into ruts of just watching movies, or only going out for diner. Take her to the zoo, go for a hike, rent an airplane for the afternoon. There is plenty of stuff out there to do, so go try it out.
Finally, I should tell ya'll that I'm a pilot and love flying airplanes, I love flying more than just about anything so here's a quote I like to live by, "A successful pilot - who would be any pilot still alive - finds satisfaction in the smallest things." Take notice in the little things in your relationship. And don't forget to keep up with them.
