My social life is facebook lurking and meeting a close friend or two at the mall once a month or so, being occasionally mesmerized by the atmosphere and realness of everything, thinking maybe I should get out more, then going home to the internet where I don't even bother signing in on msn or skype most of the time these days. No school anymore, so there goes forced interaction.
I've made quite a few friends at school having been a wanderer from group to group, but I find it hard to assert myself in typical group situations and not feel like a tag-along. I have a quiet voice and natural awkwardness. I used to get this weird unexplainable feeling sometimes, I think it's called malaise, I've noticed in recenter years I've been getting it only in social situations.
I'm not as uptight and self-conscious as I used to be (I can actually eat normally in public and look certain people in the eye!). I've sort of danced a little (albeit probably with an "I don't usually dance I'm probably just humoring your all" vibe) and do weird things without caring, I'm relaxed. But overall it's not often that I immerse myself and interact with my environment to get the most out of things.
I also have an aversion to commitment sometimes. Starting a conversation with that person is committing a certain amount of time to them until it's socially acceptable to break the conversation off. It makes me a bit uneasy. I can go without being with people for a while so long as there's the prospect of being with people and I can fantasize.
Betancore said:
I try to avoid my friends when I'm not at school/protests/places I have to be. I prefer being alone as often as I can, so if I don't HAVE to be around other people, then I won't be. Although, on the whole, I guess I have a fairly balanced social life - I go out on weekends and after school, and then hibernate in my room alone whenever I can. It's probably an unhealthy habit.
I wish my friends went to protests. What they do is walk around shops, eat, try things on, complain they look fat when they're not, buy useless overpriced junk on a whim, and complain they have no money. I guess it's good to have a few nice friends to just talk about light hearted things with, but I wish I was a part of something with a sense of purpose.
I might sound a bit defeated and whiny, I better go do something with myself, haha. I'm not that self-absorbed <_<
