I've had women in my life as friends, that I didn't find attractive, until I got to know them. At that point their personalities changed how I viewed their physical being. I've had that end well, and I've had that end badly. I've disappointed a couple of young ladies by not returning their feelings too.
You know what? None of us were assholes... We were just flawed people. I don't understand this need to assign blame or vilify anyone. You can't sum this up with some stupid meme... It's mufti-faceted. Young people tend to be less adept at reading people as well as less considerate of/aware of how their behaviour affects people, and what impressions it gives them... To my mind, the one obliviously leading another on is at least as socially inept/unaware as the one failing to grasp the reality of the situation.
I think that's why this tends to be such a young person oriented problem. Live and learn and all... But have a little compassion for the confused, hormonal, vulnerable young people who are struggling, eh?
To answer the title. If you want a ridiculously simple answers, it's "yes". But, there is a reason why people get jealous when their S.O is hanging out with someone of the opposite gender (talking hetero here, apply other terms where appropriate), it's because these things can easily become complicated. We know they can, it's dumb to pretend otherwise.
DugMachine said:
Funny that I'm reading this. Just this past weekend I slept with one of my long time friends and have been asking myself the same thing. She and I just wanted something casual but after the act I can't really shake the feeling of having deeper feelings even though I've never felt them before our encounter. Sex is fucking weird.
Aside from her I have quite a few female friends and I'd be lying if I didn't find some of them sexually attractive. I just end up telling myself to let go of the thought because while we are friends there's no way we would be compatible in that way.
Perfectly normal.
To me, what you're describing is just a man with a healthy libido. It's hard to mentally entirely block out the entertaining of the idea of sex with female friends. You can't just shut that part of your nature off. What defines you is how you choose to conduct yourself. It's just another front for nature and culture to battle it out within the confines of your head.
I don't want to cast aspersions on you, this is just general advice to young men: Talk to men... Candidly, but in good humour. You can ask another man if they feel similarly to you about things like this, and you'll probably find that (at least) many of them do. It's better to get comfortable with what you are and deal with it accordingly than to pretend that you just don't feel the way you feel. The mask that we all wear so that we can function in society is one thing. But... Get some decent information for your internal experience.