Your Views on Marriage

[loremazd]

I think it's natural for young people to kinda make excuses to justify their own feelings at the time by pretty much condoning the practice. I'm gonna be blunt that marriage is a human thing, -not- a religious one. Almost every culture that exists on the planet has some form of marriage ritual, the western one happens to be one that has been adopted by both the secular and Christian heavy culture.

I also see a lot of you using the whole "Why do you need a third party to love someone?" argument. I'm not really sure you understand the concept. You don't -need- to get married, you just want to.

 

[Abedeus]

Useless. Too expensive, too noisy, too many preparations, too many people you must invite.

I survived my sister's wedding and I don't want to have one.

Wow, you knwo tht marriage can be porformed anywhere,in any fasion, you just need one of the three following people present:

a Ships Captian
a Judge
a Vicar/Preist/your relgious leader of choice

and the setting can be any where from a courthouse or church to a boat or your very own garden (my parents married this way).
In no way do weddings need to be expensive. besides, the expensive ones are payed for by the father of the bride (usually)

PaID.

Still, they are useless. What do they give, honestly? Except for the fact that you can give your "wife" your last name, but that can by done by a civil marriage (or however do you call it).

 

[loremazd]

Useless. Too expensive, too noisy, too many preparations, too many people you must invite.

I survived my sister's wedding and I don't want to have one.

Wow, you knwo tht marriage can be porformed anywhere,in any fasion, you just need one of the three following people present:

a Ships Captian
a Judge
a Vicar/Preist/your relgious leader of choice

and the setting can be any where from a courthouse or church to a boat or your very own garden (my parents married this way).
In no way do weddings need to be expensive. besides, the expensive ones are payed for by the father of the bride (usually)

PaID.

Still, they are useless. What do they give, honestly? Except for the fact that you can give your "wife" your last name, but that can by done by a civil marriage (or however do you call it).

They give a bond born through love to make a commmitment to one another, and the desire to share that commitment to family and loved ones. Plus I mean, heck, if you love someone, a big party and a vacation is really kinda fun.

 

[Neesa]

It's so funny to hear how people don't see happy couples, but what about all the marriages that last for 50+ years? My parents have been together since they were seniors in high school. They celebrated their 24 wedding anniversary in June and still going strong. Yeah, you might not want a piece of paper saying that you're together, but there's still nothing wrong with it. Marriage is a wonderful thing if both parties actually keep the vow. Some people marry for the wrong reason, but the key word is SOME. If people get married of only dating for like, 6 month or even less, of course there's gonna be high divorce rates. People don't like taking the time out anymore and actually getting to know the person that they claim they love so much. Or they use divorce as a way of getting out of the situation instead of working things out. I think there's only 2 reasons why people should get divorced:

1. Adultery. Plain and simple. Extramarital affairs are just stupid. Don't get married if you feel that you're gonna think with the wrong head.
2. Spousal Abuse. If your wife/husband is beating you, of course you need to get the hell out of that relationship. But if he/she was doing that beforehand, then you were dumb enough to go into the marriage with your eyes open.

Money issues seem to be a big issue that causes a lot of divorce. However, those issues can be addressed if both parties come up with some sort of "course of action" so to speak. If your spouse loses their job or something to that effect, divorcing them isn't gonna make things better. If anything, it makes your spouse with less money due to lawyer and court fees as well as yourself. Unless you're married to like Bernard Madoff or something...

Me as an individual, I've known my boyfriend for 7 years, but we've only dated for 1 of those 7 years. That doesn't mean that I'm gonna just up and marry him. We still have things to discover about each other as individuals and together as a couple. Of course, we'll eventually get married down the line if time permits and our relationship is still standing. Nothing is ever promised unless both parties keep their promises.

 

[cyber_andyy]

Pointless. Hence why im not doing it, or having kids.

 

[CouchCommando]

Hey everyone.
I recently had an arguement with a person about marriage. This person believes that marriage is just a label.

I also believed that marriage is a special bond and promise between two people that shows that they will only love and be with each other until they die.

I've always kind of considered marraige sacred (so to speak) and I think if you take the leap, you should be ready for the long haul.
I also always thought that by being married, you may have the extra incentive to try harder to work through problems and try to figure things out.

What is your view of marriage?

same

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

Marriage is standing up in front of everyone you know and will ever meet and saying:

"I choose this person and no one else and I will stand by that choice!"

But why do you have to stand in front of everyone else and say it?

What you're really saying is "Look how much better and loving my relationship is because we're getting married" which is absolute bullshit.

You don't have to tell everyone how loved up you are with a person. If anything because it's you two who are in the relationship I think it should just be between you two to do things, the whole world doesn't need to know. Are you that insecure in the relationship that you feel you to tell everyone? What's that saying about the loudest person normally being the most insecure? I'd say that applies here.

 

[Phantom_Natal]

I guess it all is bound to whether you are in deeply in love or not.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

A lot of you are fairly young (not that I'm old only 29) but when you get older playing all the games you do with dating no longer hold the appeal. When you find someone that is perfect for you (you'll know) you don't want them to get away. You have to be in the right... maturity to level to see how good it is.

Things that used to scare me, like buying a house, getting married, having kids, settling down. None of that bothers me anymore because it's her. She's the same used to be a commit-o-phobe. But we're together we make each other happy and she is my absolute best friend in the world. We have made a commitment and even though we've had an argument or two I would've broken up with a woman in the past over we stuck it out and are stronger for it. It's not about proving your love to anyone else either it's about making a commitment to each other saing "nothing, NOTHING is going to stop us now."

Don't patronise us. Age and maturity are not mutually exclusive. By your logic me(and every other person in this thread who thinks marriage is a waste of time)aren't mature, obviously I'm not outrightly saying that I am mature either but making a subtle jab at the fact that you're getting married and basically saying we'll grow out of this "phase" we're in atm is condescending to say the least.

All of what you said above you can do even if you're not married, minus the marriage bit of course. This folks is what I meant by the snootiness in my earlier post on this topic.

 

[Zelda Zealot]

I really see no point in getting married. I'm not religious, and the idea of being tied to another person by law is not a good one in my mind. I'm not saying I don't want to be with someone my whole life, but I don't see why I need the government or religion to tell me the extent of my relationship. Particularly if it is only going to complicate matters if it doesn't work out.

To make matters worse, not only do one third of marriages end in divorce, but many more are devoid of love, and the spouses only stay together because they feel that marriage is forever. This is just idiotic in my opinion. If you don't love each other, then don't be together. It's as simple as that.

With all that said, if I'm with someone whom I really love, who wants to get married, I can't say no to them, just express my opinion.

 

[goatzilla8463]

I am an absolute perv and sticking to one girl would be near impossible for me.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

[img/]http://www.wearyourbeer.com/images/Humor_Wedding_Game_Over_Black_Shirt.jpg[/img]
Pretty much...
And it is pretty much a label, its pretty sad if you need an outside party to deem that you love someone.

If this is your assessment of marriage, you have completely missed the point.

EDIT: Let me add this: Marriage is about making your commitment public and making yourself accountable. This whole "if I love them it doesn't matter" crap is a 15 year old's view and says more about you than about marriage. Way to go pansies.

Right, so let me see if I get this. Your commitment towards someone, which is something only you two know about and will be actively doing, should be made public for all to hear and see? Why? "Making yourself accountable"? When you get into a relationship period I thought you made yourself accountable anyway to be commited to that person, to love them, trust, them, etc, when did this change? When marriage got involved? Oh, I see.

So lets say we get married, that means I have to tell everyone, my parents, my aunties, my uncles, my friends, my work collegues, my grandparents, my boss, the hobo on the corner of my street, the dustbin man, the random salesperson who knocks on my door every fortnight selling me blinds but hasn't got it through his thick skull that I don't want to buy any, I think that covers all bases. And you think the opposite view is a 15 year olds view? Lol.

"Look guys, I'm marrying the greatest girl ever, she's funny, trustworthy, intelligent and I'm rubbing her in everyones faces since she is better than all of you and our relationship is better than yours, our love is stronger than any other couples because we're commited and love each other enough to get married". Sounds stupid doesn't it? Because it is.

EDIT: I don't condone the picture nor agree with it cause I just think marriage is basically a waste of time.

 

[ace_of_something]

A lot of you are fairly young (not that I'm old only 29) but when you get older playing all the games you do with dating no longer hold the appeal. When you find someone that is perfect for you (you'll know) you don't want them to get away. You have to be in the right... maturity to level to see how good it is.

Things that used to scare me, like buying a house, getting married, having kids, settling down. None of that bothers me anymore because it's her. She's the same used to be a commit-o-phobe. But we're together we make each other happy and she is my absolute best friend in the world. We have made a commitment and even though we've had an argument or two I would've broken up with a woman in the past over we stuck it out and are stronger for it. It's not about proving your love to anyone else either it's about making a commitment to each other saing "nothing, NOTHING is going to stop us now."

Don't patronise us. Age and maturity are not mutually exclusive. By your logic me(and every other person in this thread who thinks marriage is a waste of time)aren't mature, obviously I'm not outrightly saying that I am mature either but making a subtle jab at the fact that you're getting married and basically saying we'll grow out of this "phase" we're in atm is condescending to say the least.

All of what you said above you can do even if you're not married, minus the marriage bit of course. This folks is what I meant by the snootiness in my earlier post on this topic.

You are most certainly correct that age doesn't dictate maturity. That's why I wasn't mature enough to act as if this person matters more than me until now when I'm fast approaching the age of thirty. Though you cannot deny the more years any given person puts on the more likely they start to realize what does and doesn't matter? Would you say things that upset you when you were 10 years old would upset you now? Probably not. Because you've gotten a more realistic perspective sense then. You're also right it's not a phase. Some people never grow out of those things. My eldest brother is 42 has never been married, will never be married because "He likes to lookout for himself" and no one else.

I used to think the same thing when people said 'you'll understand when you're older'. I am loathe to admit that they were right. There are a lot of things that no matter how intelligent you are. You simply cannot appreciate or understand without the perspective you get when time begins moving faster.

It is a title but that doesn't make it meaningless.

 

[Abedeus]

Useless. Too expensive, too noisy, too many preparations, too many people you must invite.

I survived my sister's wedding and I don't want to have one.

Wow, you knwo tht marriage can be porformed anywhere,in any fasion, you just need one of the three following people present:

a Ships Captian
a Judge
a Vicar/Preist/your relgious leader of choice

and the setting can be any where from a courthouse or church to a boat or your very own garden (my parents married this way).
In no way do weddings need to be expensive. besides, the expensive ones are payed for by the father of the bride (usually)

PaID.

Still, they are useless. What do they give, honestly? Except for the fact that you can give your "wife" your last name, but that can by done by a civil marriage (or however do you call it).

They give a bond born through love to make a commmitment to one another, and the desire to share that commitment to family and loved ones. Plus I mean, heck, if you love someone, a big party and a vacation is really kinda fun.

So wait, you need a fancy celebration to show someone you love him/her? Isn't this kinda empty and materialistic?

I mean, if you love each other, aren't you SURE it's the one you will love forever? Not that I believe in such laughable ideas.

Useless. Too expensive, too noisy, too many preparations, too many people you must invite.

I survived my sister's wedding and I don't want to have one.

Wow, you knwo tht marriage can be porformed anywhere,in any fasion, you just need one of the three following people present:

a Ships Captian
a Judge
a Vicar/Preist/your relgious leader of choice

and the setting can be any where from a courthouse or church to a boat or your very own garden (my parents married this way).
In no way do weddings need to be expensive. besides, the expensive ones are payed for by the father of the bride (usually)

PaID.

Still, they are useless. What do they give, honestly? Except for the fact that you can give your "wife" your last name, but that can by done by a civil marriage (or however do you call it).

1. no room for grammar nazis on thos boat.
2. if two people love each other what makes you right to meet their choices with skepticism?

1. Stop trying to moderate the forum.
2. "Your views on marriage". Oh I'm sorry, it means "your positive words about marriage". My bad.

 

[ScarlettRage]

Hey everyone.


I also believed that marriage is a special bond and promise between two people that shows that they will only love and be with each other until they die.

that what it is ment for.
if they want to think that its a label they are
wrong.

let them think it if they want to though.
its what they feel and shouldnt be debated.

 

[VanityGirl]

Not surprisingly, I've seen a lot of people who are against it.

I don't know why. If you're willing to stick with your girlfriend/boyfriend forever, why wouldn't you want benefits from it? Since many of you believe that getting married is just a label you stamp on, think of it from a more monetary standpoint. If you get married, you'll have big tax breaks.


I'm actually shocked at how many people think it's worthless to be married. Considering my parents celebrated their 25 wedding anniversary last year, I would say, maybe there's something to this marriage business.
I for one want to be married. I want the assurance that the man in question will try to take care of me and won't ditch me at the first sign of trouble.
Marriage is an everlasting bond that you make with someone. It's your fault if you pick the WRONG someone.
I've seen people who dated for 4 months, then got married, needless to say, they divorced. That's what dating later in your life is for. You want to find the right person. And you want to date them long enough to know not just their good side, but their faults as well.

And trust me, I used to date around ALL the time, but I started getting bored of that and actually wanted something serious, so I started looking seriously.
I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I'm really starting to see his faults now, but you know what? I still love him for it. And if he wants to, I'll marry him.

 

[WlknCntrdiction]

A lot of you are fairly young (not that I'm old only 29) but when you get older playing all the games you do with dating no longer hold the appeal. When you find someone that is perfect for you (you'll know) you don't want them to get away. You have to be in the right... maturity to level to see how good it is.

Things that used to scare me, like buying a house, getting married, having kids, settling down. None of that bothers me anymore because it's her. She's the same used to be a commit-o-phobe. But we're together we make each other happy and she is my absolute best friend in the world. We have made a commitment and even though we've had an argument or two I would've broken up with a woman in the past over we stuck it out and are stronger for it. It's not about proving your love to anyone else either it's about making a commitment to each other saing "nothing, NOTHING is going to stop us now."

Don't patronise us. Age and maturity are not mutually exclusive. By your logic me(and every other person in this thread who thinks marriage is a waste of time)aren't mature, obviously I'm not outrightly saying that I am mature either but making a subtle jab at the fact that you're getting married and basically saying we'll grow out of this "phase" we're in atm is condescending to say the least.

All of what you said above you can do even if you're not married, minus the marriage bit of course. This folks is what I meant by the snootiness in my earlier post on this topic.

You are most certainly correct that age doesn't dictate maturity. That's why I wasn't mature enough to act as if this person matters more than me until now when I'm fast approaching the age of thirty. Though you cannot deny the more years any given person puts on the more likely they start to realize what does and doesn't matter? Would you say things that upset you when you were 10 years old would upset you now? Probably not. Because you've gotten a more realistic perspective sense then. You're also right it's not a phase. Some people never grow out of those things. My eldest brother is 42 has never been married, will never be married because "He likes to lookout for himself" and no one else.

I used to think the same thing when people said 'you'll understand when you're older'. I am loathe to admit that they were right. There are a lot of things that no matter how intelligent you are. You simply cannot appreciate or understand without the perspective you get when time begins moving faster.

It is a title but that doesn't make it meaningless.

I wouldn't have the viewpoint of "looking out for myself" and I guess if it's important to you then that's your perogative but I would like to find a girl who shares my views on marriage, I would be commited to a girl regardless because I made a commitment to her, I don't need to get married, nor do I want to be. That view won't change, no matter how old I get, but I will always be commited to those who matter to me.