You're going to die.

[gamefreakbsp]

In some kind of Last Stand against an insurmountable foe.

 

[MassiveGeek]

I'd like to die after having my inner essence(or soul if you're boring) ripped right out of me - preferably by myself.

Then my body wouldn't be anything but a mindless shell and my death would be painless.

 

[brucelee13245]

Taking out an entire army with myself, an old relic Thompson, and some of the best damned fighters the world has to offer. lying in a pile full of spend 45 casings and magazines.

Though i like my friends better. "i want to get my head caught in a revolving door"
.....yeaaa

 

[Palademon]

Dying for a girl who rejected me.
A masochistic death that'll make them feel guilty forever.
Yeah...

 

[TilMorrow]

A epic battle between Chuck Norris, God and Jesus ending in the destruction of the universe and creation of a time paradox where nothing becomes something!

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

I had to see the video. That's awful, how could they teach someone about their own demise...

Ay ay ay...

OT: I would like to die in a car crash.

You do know The Onion is a spoof, right? Only it's a bit difficult to detect sarcasm over the internet.

Well, I hadn't noticed until you mentioned it.

Now I feel stupid.

OMG Kennedy you JUST made my day! I had a teach in an ethics class, the ethics of what we eat. We were arguing about animals having souls as a point of morality, so to show the understanding capability of animals, he showed the SAME video, and while everyone in the class was horrified, I was laughing my ass off.

Everyone thought I was an asshole and the teacher asked me to leave and then I said "Dude! It's the onion! It's comedy! It ain't real!" and they all had the exact same reaction.

You are awesmoe, never change

 

[Tartarga]

In a sword fight with Morgan Freeman with one of those cliched run at each other endings. I'd get to look like a badass and meet Morgan Freeman, it would be a good death.

 

[Geekosaurus]

Dulce et Decorum est Pro patria mori.

 

[Johnny Reb]

me and my friends were all actually talking about this in gym today. were all in the ROTC and we all plan on enlisting when our time comes, me Marine Corps. But we were talking about what way we would prefer to die. and i said, "either by my own hand, taking as many of my enemies with me. or being a retired vet, dieing of old age"

now that's just me personally.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

To quote Patton Oswalt, "IN THE MOTHER-FUCKING APOCALYPSE!!!" *throws up horns*

 

[White_Hawk]

fighting a lion in a exploding neuclear reactor, and my last words would be: OH NOT THIS AGAIN!

 

[Kuriko]

If I get to choose, I'd like a quick death thanks.

I'd hate to have to suffer for years before dying.

 

[ElTigreSantiago]

Getting bit by a zombie and then crashing a plane into a massive group of them before I turn.

 

[ThatDamnedBadger]

running into a army with a single assault rifle screaming "BRING IT ON MOTHERFUCKERS!" while killing at least 40 people. Or dying while saying "Hey, give me back my leg bone, OW, dont hit me with it!"

 

[Tasachan]

As a teen I wanted to go out in a freakish way. Nothing painful, just memorable. You know, like "don't eat 20 bags of cotton candy, someone actually died from that!"

But now that I'm a mother, I want warning and I want to be able to say goodbye and help my kids cope, so I guess I choose illness.

 

[swolf]

You know that powered wheel chair commercial where the old person is at the Grand Canyon? Well, I'd take it over the edge. That would be interesting. Or something insane.

 

[crudus]

Death via Agni Kai or some similar battle.

 

[JochemDude]

Desert Eagle .50 Action Express. Back of the Head. Like a Watermelon.

You mean something like this
http://poetry.rotten.com/failed-mission/
Warning some might find this image extremely disturbing

 

[AfroTree]

as long as it aint this im happy

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Dying for what i believe in.