You've just become emperor of the world. What's your first decree?
- Thread starter hyrulegaybar
- Start date
That I shall be little more than a figurehead, though I retain the right to pass laws etc. if I have a really good idea. A really rich figurehead. Oh, and bring me some food. Right now I'm in the mood for some chicken parmigiana... Don't know why.
Ok, first real decree. Reboot the research with stem cells. Go. Do it now.
Ok, first real decree. Reboot the research with stem cells. Go. Do it now.
You know, I just finished watching the movie... I should properly watch the shows. I've seen random episodes here and there. They seemed better than the movie.Kjakings said:
The first decree is to legalize marijuana.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
Chop, chop, let's go.
Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...
I'd lead as two kings.
The tyranny and the bullshit's gone on too long.
You old fuckin' shrivs who blocked it's legalization,
you're banished from the land!
The second decree: no more pollution, no more car exhaust,
or ocean dumpage. From now on, we will travel in tubes!
Get the scientists working on the tube technology, immediately.
Chop, chop, let's go.
Third decree: no more... rich people: and poor people.
From now on, we will all be the same... ummm, I dunno,
I gotta think about that...
I'd lead as two kings.
I would be a wise and fair emperor.
First, to stimulate the economy, I would commission a statue of myself, made of solid gold, depicting me as a sword-bearing general on horseback, and big enough to make the Colossus of Rhodes look like a midget.
Then, to unite the people, I would abolish all TV networks, replacing them with a single channel dedicated to me, broadcasting 24/7 propaganda attesting to my greatness. Any TV channel that I enjoy would still be allowed to exist, provided they broadcast exclusively to my extravagant palace from which I would rule.
Finally, to establish world peace, I would abolish all national armies and create a legion of invincible mechanical death walkers, armed with death rays and nukes, to crush all resistance at the first sign of dissent. I would even have a personalized death walker I could pilot myself, so that I could destroy any rebellion personally if I wished.
Yes, I would be a very wise, very fair ruler.
First, to stimulate the economy, I would commission a statue of myself, made of solid gold, depicting me as a sword-bearing general on horseback, and big enough to make the Colossus of Rhodes look like a midget.
Then, to unite the people, I would abolish all TV networks, replacing them with a single channel dedicated to me, broadcasting 24/7 propaganda attesting to my greatness. Any TV channel that I enjoy would still be allowed to exist, provided they broadcast exclusively to my extravagant palace from which I would rule.
Finally, to establish world peace, I would abolish all national armies and create a legion of invincible mechanical death walkers, armed with death rays and nukes, to crush all resistance at the first sign of dissent. I would even have a personalized death walker I could pilot myself, so that I could destroy any rebellion personally if I wished.
Yes, I would be a very wise, very fair ruler.
Enforce journalistic standards on all channels claiming to be news. Those that fail, or choose not to, meet the standards will have a disclaimer appearing when one switches to that channel. Something along the lines of "This is not a news channel. Any information presented is not factually accurate, it is highly recommended you do not make any decisions based on the information presented here."
I'd be tempted to simply cut all such channels, but i'm not fond of censorship. People should just be given the information they need to avoid getting scammed or fooled by lying pricks like Fox "News", for example.
I'd be tempted to simply cut all such channels, but i'm not fond of censorship. People should just be given the information they need to avoid getting scammed or fooled by lying pricks like Fox "News", for example.
My first decree?
The world will be run by Socialism from now on, and I officially step down from a position as emperor.
The world will be run by Socialism from now on, and I officially step down from a position as emperor.
Ash Ketchum will be killed, on-screen, in a brutal mauling by Pikachu, and replaced with a protagonist who has some character depth and a backstory.
And so, people are once again able to enjoy the Pokémon anime. Rejoice, for your emperor has saved you!
That or put a bounty on Fred Phelps. Whichever.
And for my second decree:
Anyone whose religious opinions can be summarized as either "All religions are stupid and evil" or "All athiests/people of other religions than me are stupid and evil" will be beaten with live cats until they learn to be tolerant.
And so, people are once again able to enjoy the Pokémon anime. Rejoice, for your emperor has saved you!
That or put a bounty on Fred Phelps. Whichever.
And for my second decree:
Anyone whose religious opinions can be summarized as either "All religions are stupid and evil" or "All athiests/people of other religions than me are stupid and evil" will be beaten with live cats until they learn to be tolerant.
My first decree would be to put all the hot emo/scene girls as my lovely concubines, then I would act like a good emperor, and when everyone least expects it, BAM, off-world slavery!
