Zero Punctuation: 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand

[PaxCorpus]

Yatzhee basically showed his ass a lot in his white-privledged clueless ranty-way. He said a lot of stuff that varied from borderline to outright racist.

This doesn'[t make him a horrible human being or anything. It just makes him someone who ranted and said something dumb in public.

Think of it this way. If you walk outside with no pants on, and some people stop you and say, "Hey! You don't have any pants on!" it's not an attack. It doesn't mean you should be quiet forevermore. It means we're assuming you want to be made aware, and that you should put on a pair of pants.

Hey buddy, get a clue.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

That one was pretty good, better than some of the more recent ones.

 

[DUD683]

Brilliant once again, and very philosopical if you think about it. Wtg!

 

[Legion]

I'll point out the two most obvious examples for people who might not be sure what I'm talking about: 50 Cent's avatar running around yelling "Yo yo yo, Awww yeah, bitches ain't shit aiiight" which no-one in rap has actually ever done; and the constant commentary about putting down women, again an inaccurate representation of 50 Cent's music and almost all rap.

Yeah I know what you mean... /sarcasm

Spoiler

[Intro: 50 Cent]
Yeah...
Uh huh
So seductive

[Chorus: 50 Cent & Olivia]
[50 Cent]
I'll take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollipop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)
[Olivia]
I'll take you to the candy shop
Boy one taste of what I got
I'll have you spending all you got
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

[Verse 1: 50 Cent]
You can have it your way, how do you want it
You gon' back that thing up or should i push up on it
Temperature rising, okay lets go to the next level
Dance floor jam packed, hot as a teakettle
I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
In the hotel or in the back of the rental
On the beach or in the park, it's whatever you into
Got the magic stick, I'm the love doctor
Have your friends teasing you 'bout how sprung I gotcha
Wanna show me how you work it baby, no problem
Get on top then get to bouncing round like a low rider
I'm a seasons vet when it come to this shit
After you work up a sweat you can play with the stick
I'm trying to explain baby the best way I can
I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands (ha ha)

[Chorus]

[Bridge: 50 Cent & Olivia]
Girl what we do (what we do)
And where we do (and where we do)
The things we do (things we do)
Are just between me and you (oh yeah)

[Verse 2: 50 Cent]
Give it to me baby, nice and slow
Climb on top, ride like you in the rodeo
You ain't never heard a sound like this before
Cause I ain't never put it down like this before
Soon as I come through the door she get to pulling on my zipper
It's like it's a race who can get undressed quicker
Isn't it ironic how erotic it is to watch em in thongs
Had me thinking 'bout that ass after I'm gone
I touch the right spot at the right time
Lights on or lights off, she like it from behind
So seductive, you should see the way she wind
Her hips in slow-mo on the floor when we grind
As Long as she ain't stopping, homie I ain't stopping
Dripping wet with sweat man its on and popping
All my champagne campaign, bottle after bottle its on
And we gon' sip 'til every bubble in every bottle is gone

[Chorus 2x]

 

[Gerscan]

Did you just get away with being racist just by saying you're not...?

...AWESOME.

 

[Slackenerny]

Glock of Damocles. That was funny.

 

[EspadaL]

LOL i dont even give the game a rating =_=
like a bad copy of saints row and GTA

LMAO at ending xDDD
that required me to STFU at this time because of laughter

 

[p1ne]

This is the picture if you were curious and didn't stop it at 2:21, and some later points in the video

If you have to include something like this in the video to convince people you're not racist, you're probably trying to convince yourself of it.

It appears I'm in the minority here, but I found this to be one of the least funny Zero Punctuations so far, even apart from the tasteless black jokes. Not trying to stir up controversy or anything, just how I personally felt about it.

 

[zagazsano]

This was so true. 50 could just go into the developer's office and scream for a "lolly" if he wanted to.

 

[p1ne]

Okay so having watched it a second time when I wasn't completely tired like last night, it was a completely decent review if you forget about the tasteless joke at the end and all the tangential apologizing for it done beforehand. I know it's cool to be edgy and defiant, but South Park already did that joke anyways.

But the game review part itself was good, and I think there's no need to apologize for or even mention the racial context. As Yahtzee pointed out, the plot and characters by themselves are patently ridiculous without having to attach any cultural framework to them. One of the things I like about Yahtzee is that he generally makes funny jokes without the use of stereotypes, so why start now?

 

[Sifer2]

I liked the bit about hit X to brutalize this guy....or don't that's cool. Also I agree with the social commentary too. Rappers are so dumb or at least the stuff they sing about is.

 

[dave.k]

That was "nitpickers". He was going to say "those lazy nitpickers".

Geez, doesn't that embarrass everyone who assumed something else.

 

[jinsenken]

Been watching ZP for a long time now, but this review was the one that made me register for Escapist.

This the funniest ZP review I have ever seen, and the end bit made me lol so hard because of how it reminded me of the episode of the South Park where the rich black people move into town. (Had the same joke at the end)

Hilarious review.

 

[Rahnzan]

You haven't made me laugh in a while but this got me. Well played Yahtzee, well played.

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

HAHAHAH OH NO HE DI-INT!!!

that was a great one.

please let there be at least one black person who gets generally offended by this review... PLEASE!!!

it would only make the "Not Racist" subliminal messages in the review all the more funny

I've lurked for forever-billonty years, and this comment finally prompted me to register.

Why in the hell would you wish for that? That's messed up.

... be...cause "it would only make the "Not Racist" subliminal messages in the review all the more funny"...

if anyone gets offended by Yahtzee's review, they really need to stop taking themselves too seriously and to lighten up. the review was made in good spirits and for laughs, and that needs to be not only recognized, but embraced

 

[Peach_hat]

<<<Not Racist haha took so long to pause it at the right time.

that last part was just like the southpark with Mr. Garrison when they scare all the black people out of town... haha if you've seen it you'll understand.

Season 5
Episode 12
"Here Comes the Neighborhood"

 

[Jallis370]

When is he gonna start doing the music part in the beginning and end of the vids? I miss it... The videos aren't as great without the nice music, now we have to listen to this damn heavy whatnot every time. Yes I can skip it but I didnt have to before because I LIKED the part I now have to skip... Yahtzee has gone and done what games do in the end; repeat itself...

We've sorted this out ages ago, everyone else got over it and he's not changing now.

Oy, I won't stop crying about it and neither should you. Yahtzee is just lazy and lazyness makes this not at enjoyable as before. QQ I miss the mood-bringing songs!

 

[theultimateend]

This is the picture if you were curious and didn't stop it at 2:21, and some later points in the video

If you have to include something like this in the video to convince people you're not racist, you're probably trying to convince yourself of it.

It appears I'm in the minority here, but I found this to be one of the least funny Zero Punctuations so far, even apart from the tasteless black jokes. Not trying to stir up controversy or anything, just how I personally felt about it.

You also in the minority for not getting the obvious joke that was that image. It's been a joke that's been around since the late 90's early 2000's. A white guy takes a picture of themselves next to any non-white person and say "see I'm not racist".

Welcome to almost 10 years ago.

 

[e-Jail]

This thread is just comprised of people basically saying "I liked the ending because he was going to say ******. Also, that line was on South Park."