Zero Punctuation: Age of Conan
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
As soon as AoC releases a free 10-day trial I'm all over an all-nude server. 
Seriously, I think the entire marketing to AoC is right there in the banners, "Titty titty titty titty SWORDS titty."
Anyway, I love the little naked sprite running around with "Jugs" written on her chest. XD
Seriously, I think the entire marketing to AoC is right there in the banners, "Titty titty titty titty SWORDS titty."
Anyway, I love the little naked sprite running around with "Jugs" written on her chest. XD
If Gamespot has taught me anything it's that Yahtzee will be fired by the escapist for not licking Age of Conan's balls.
Any chance of getting Yahtzee in a loincloth? Maybe there could be a Yahtzee calender? Yahtzee wearing nothing but his hat and a cleverly placed Guitar Hero guitar, Yahtzee wearing nothing but his hat and a cleverly placed DS, Yahtzee wearing nothing but his hat and a cleverly placed my face, Yahtzee wearing nothing but his hat and a cleverly placed... well you get the idea. Oh wait! Yahtzee wearing nothing but his hat and it's cleverly placed.
I'm not joking. I'm one of those guys who watches this with his boyfriend but only because I very publicly want to cleft Yahtzee in two with my "plot important MacGuffin".
Anyway, classic base-line Zero Punctuation.
I'm not joking. I'm one of those guys who watches this with his boyfriend but only because I very publicly want to cleft Yahtzee in two with my "plot important MacGuffin".
Anyway, classic base-line Zero Punctuation.
Gah...I had a nice wall of text there and then it 404's me.
Ah well.
Here's a review of the review.
Yahtzee, that charismatic stallion seems to have incontinence at the moment. Whilst being upgraded to the big time, all of that rich food seems to make him deliver more and more bile everytime; and some of it is splattering on our clothes.
Comparing MMO's to WoW seems to be missing the point somewhat. It's like comparing Tim Henman to John McEnroe. We all know who'd win, but we want to know the good points. And there were better, faster and prettier tennis players way before the ball was in.
Whilst running through his usual gobbets thrown at the walls a la Family Guy, there's a picture emerging that perhaps he just doesn't like reviewing games. He certainly is foregoing the review more to making Angry Jokes, and to help with this, he's actually going out there to make people angry. What exactly did you THINK would happen with a naked necromancer? People would applaud you for your roleplaying skills?
Anyway, I'd rate it good but lacking. Sort of like McCain Micro Chips. It smells ok and it sates me, but it's nothing compared to the greasy goodness of newspaper wrapped slabs of potato served by a woman in uniform.
And you still have that stupid steenkeng intro/outro.
Ah well.
Here's a review of the review.
Yahtzee, that charismatic stallion seems to have incontinence at the moment. Whilst being upgraded to the big time, all of that rich food seems to make him deliver more and more bile everytime; and some of it is splattering on our clothes.
Comparing MMO's to WoW seems to be missing the point somewhat. It's like comparing Tim Henman to John McEnroe. We all know who'd win, but we want to know the good points. And there were better, faster and prettier tennis players way before the ball was in.
Whilst running through his usual gobbets thrown at the walls a la Family Guy, there's a picture emerging that perhaps he just doesn't like reviewing games. He certainly is foregoing the review more to making Angry Jokes, and to help with this, he's actually going out there to make people angry. What exactly did you THINK would happen with a naked necromancer? People would applaud you for your roleplaying skills?
Anyway, I'd rate it good but lacking. Sort of like McCain Micro Chips. It smells ok and it sates me, but it's nothing compared to the greasy goodness of newspaper wrapped slabs of potato served by a woman in uniform.
And you still have that stupid steenkeng intro/outro.
Sorry if this has been posted before, but why does Yahtzee say that he's 'fat' at the end of his review? He always made jokes about being undernourished and scrawny back in his Fully Ramblomatic days.... Ehh, maybe I'm looking too much into this, though it is rather intriguing.
Oh, and AWESOME review, as expected. He might do an E3 one next week (you guys really expected him to do it this week?! [the poor guy needs time to rest, you know]), but he already did a little podcast on it; he mostly talked about the new Prince of Persia game, as well as his 'misanthropic cynicism', for those of you who are too lazy to check for yourselves.
EDIT: Oh, and what the hell, people? I'm not trying to flame anybody, but I wouldn't exactly call it unprecedented to ask you all what the fuck you're talking about when you bash on the new theme. Sure, the old ones were no-doubt clevar in their relevancy, but this is YAHTZEE - this is something that was pretty much created by the man himself. How can you not appreciate that?
Also, who in their sane mind doesn't like classic rock with a heavy dose of squealy guitars?
Oh, and AWESOME review, as expected. He might do an E3 one next week (you guys really expected him to do it this week?! [the poor guy needs time to rest, you know]), but he already did a little podcast on it; he mostly talked about the new Prince of Persia game, as well as his 'misanthropic cynicism', for those of you who are too lazy to check for yourselves.
EDIT: Oh, and what the hell, people? I'm not trying to flame anybody, but I wouldn't exactly call it unprecedented to ask you all what the fuck you're talking about when you bash on the new theme. Sure, the old ones were no-doubt clevar in their relevancy, but this is YAHTZEE - this is something that was pretty much created by the man himself. How can you not appreciate that?
Also, who in their sane mind doesn't like classic rock with a heavy dose of squealy guitars?
I miss Yahtzee's music choices. He used to pick songs for the beginning and end of the review that fit the game, or his opinion of it. I guess you can only do it so many times before it gets difficult to find good songs.
From here on, I will be pronouncing "niche" like "quiche" as Yahtzee did in this review.
He's absolutely right, however that every MMORPG should strive to be like WoW. 10 million people can't be wrong. They can be dumb, but they can't be wrong. It's a good business model, really.
He's absolutely right, however that every MMORPG should strive to be like WoW. 10 million people can't be wrong. They can be dumb, but they can't be wrong. It's a good business model, really.
Another spot-on review - finally getting used to the music. And hooray for more gay jokes, as well as the shout-out to a pure RPG like Baldur's Gate.
Best moment: the notice about the exclamation points over people's heads and the clear reference to Solid Snake. I am still annoyed about that loud noise that popped up in Metal Gear Solid every time someone saw you, second to my annoyance about Metal Gear's inability to kill off any of their main characters - the same reason I avoid the X-Men comics.
Best moment: the notice about the exclamation points over people's heads and the clear reference to Solid Snake. I am still annoyed about that loud noise that popped up in Metal Gear Solid every time someone saw you, second to my annoyance about Metal Gear's inability to kill off any of their main characters - the same reason I avoid the X-Men comics.
Still not quite understanding the ban fest that is going on but... This was quite humorous since I actually did play Age of Conan but never got past level 20...or level 17 for that matter before I gave up due to the instancing and boring grind fest that is every MMO. >_<
Ya know, I used to roll over laughing at these but now I seem to only smile and nod admittingly at the truth of these. Interesting how stuff like that happens. At least you aren't going to make a webcomic about miscarriages eh? =P
Ya know, I used to roll over laughing at these but now I seem to only smile and nod admittingly at the truth of these. Interesting how stuff like that happens. At least you aren't going to make a webcomic about miscarriages eh? =P