Zero Punctuation: Amy

[iblis666]

damn it im shaking in rage from the mere mention on a game based around escorting some one. its bad enough that skyrim has escort missions but to make a whole game based on it makes me want to punch someone in the face.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

 

[Hunter15]

This has been shooting fish in a barrel week......WTF that was hilarious

 

[Hunter15]

And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

well i read the review in Game informer and they said it was crap as well

 

[FallenMessiah88]

I dunno. I think this game both looks and sounds pretty good. I think im gonna go check it out sometime.

 

[BehattedWanderer]

And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

well i read the review in Game informer and they said it was crap as well

That would be a further example of my point. Between the bevy of gameplay reviews in both print and digital, the only reason to play this once-hopeful game is too see just how accurate the cries of how woefully terrible the game really is. When they claimed it would be something resembling Ico with zombies in, they piqued our interests. By lying, they've earned our scorn, and showed our trepidation about buying it to be correct. As I said--the system works.

 

[Caffiene]

What amuses me the most is comparing this review to Susan Arendt's opinions and Yahtzee looking like the calm and collected one...

 

[Beryl77]

I loathe escort missions in games. I've never played any game where the escort mission didn't suck. So I'm definitely not going to play a game which is pretty much one big escort mission.

 

[Second World]

"Usually Pair it with other [...] games"
No similar download-only games?

Yahtzee could have easily paired it with Corpse Party.
Maybe he doesn't have a PSP anymore..

 

[DPunch4]

I think Amy is wonderful. She makes great sandwiches!

 

[Freyar]

I'm glad I played the demo to help me choose not to buy it.

 

[pearcinator]

One of the funniest reviews in a while...there needs to be more games that are so universally disliked because of how bad they are. Just so Yahtzee can tear every last thing about it to shreds!

 

[Montezuma's Lawyer]

Fortunately, we do actually have a way to find out of little psychic girls are more powerful than Jason Vorhees, I think its Friday the 13th 8.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Thank you, Yahtzee, for an honest bashing of what sounds like the absolute shittiest horror game ever.

 

[Metalrocks]

susan already reviewed the game and gave it a very low score. complaining about the Ai and how bad the controls are.
the game sure sounds interesting and looks ok but it is a shame that the outcome is bad. but sure was funny to read that the developers said that the game is just hard, not bad.
well, it says it will come out for the pc, maybe there the controls will be better. if the port will be good and if they really bring it out for pc, thats the other question.

 

[Lizzz92]

I love it when Yahtzee rips on a game, especially when it's so obviously bad.

 

[excessum ado]

The door with the different text attached to it brought me to tears.

 

[daxterx2005]

hilarious as always keep up the great work Yahtzee.

 

[DanDeFool]

You know, for a while, I was honestly expecting Yahtzee to ignore Amy, but on reflection:

1. It's survival horror.
2. It's an indie game.
3. It's shit.

How could good ol' Yahtzee possibly resist?

 

[Aprilgold]

I've said this before and I'll say it every time anyone reviews this game or says anything about it and expresses anything approaching surprise that it's a complete load. This is "Escort Quest: The Game" how could you ever imagine there could be anything redeeming about it?

Seriously, it's one of the most hated parts of video games. And they MADE A GAME AROUND IT!

Who thought this was a good idea?

Well no one complained when Ico did it.

OT: Meh, so it's just not an escort game, it's a BAD escort game. And when it's worse than usual escort missions in games you just know there's no way to enjoy it. Plus i've still not regained my interest in zombies after that tidal wave that his us recently.

Because Ico was fucking interesting. I can't stress this enough, I just watched gameplay of Amy and I myself felt bored. At least when playing Ico the chick behind you didn't have a irritating voice and you had pretty scenery to look at.