Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed: Chronicles

Transdude1996

New member
Mar 18, 2014
188
0
0
Considering how there isn't really anything else out, I was really hoping he'd review Xenoblade Chronicles X, but this works too.

Also, don't give Ubisoft too much credit. EA let NFS miss a year and they still somehow managed to miss the point based off of what I've heard.
 

Freedom153

New member
Sep 29, 2009
34
0
0
"debating on the Internet is like trying to head-butt a brontosaurus to death"

Sad, funny, and true.
 

09philj

Elite Member
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
1,757
437
88
Transdude1996 said:
Considering how there isn't really anything else out, I was really hoping he'd review Xenoblade Chronicles X, but this works too.

Also, don't give Ubisoft too much credit. EA let the NFS miss a year and they still managed to miss the point given what I've heard about it.
Yahtzee doesn't like most modern JRPGs, so doesn't tend to review them. This is fair enough; better to review a bad game in a genre you like than a good game in a genre you don't like and essentially let your inherent dislike of the genre itself write the review for you.
 

Diablo1099_v1legacy

Doom needs Yoghurt, Badly
Dec 12, 2009
9,732
0
0
09philj said:
Transdude1996 said:
Considering how there isn't really anything else out, I was really hoping he'd review Xenoblade Chronicles X, but this works too.

Also, don't give Ubisoft too much credit. EA let the NFS miss a year and they still managed to miss the point given what I've heard about it.
Yahtzee doesn't like most modern JRPGs, so doesn't tend to review them. This is fair enough; better to review a bad game in a genre you like than a good game in a genre you don't like and essentially let your inherent dislike of the genre itself write the review for you.
That and even normal RPGs require a larger time investment in order to get a good idea of how you feel about it.

OT: I am hoping that the rumor about Watch_Dogs 2 is true, while that game wasn't the best, I still rather enjoyed it.
Also, nice to know I'm not the only one who reads the in-game wikia Yahtzee! :D
 

SiskoBlue

Monk
Aug 11, 2010
242
0
0
I actually like the first Assassin's Creed.

There was definitely something wrong with it, but I liked it. They completely abandoned the idea of preparing for an assassination. Well mostly, AssCreed2's linear mission structure was more like GTA style. I've not played GTA Heists but this was one of the first games I remember having missions that helped you prepare for a final mission. Admittedly those mini-missions were poor, and over repeated but I liked the concept. The thing they all lacked though was an exit strategy? What type of master assassin does all that preparation but not once thinks about how they're going to escape afterwards? A suicide bomber, that's who.
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
12,531
0
0
Thanatos2k said:
We already had Assassin's Creed Armageddon. It was Assassin's Creed 3.....
Wait... That game had both an asteroid AND Bruce Willis it it? Or was it because the game, itself, was a disaster? :p

OT: So, the only reason why Ubi's not releasing a full 3D Ass-ass-in Creed is because Shadow of Mordor tried to kill it in it's [development] slumber?

Other than that, does this mean Chronicles is the poor time traveler's Prince of Persia?
 

Combustion Kevin

New member
Nov 17, 2011
1,206
0
0
-enemies spot you quickly
-enemies kill you in one or two stabs
-enemies use their brains and shoot your ass at a distance

So all in all, it's as difficult as actually being an assassin?
 

KikReask

New member
Mar 25, 2014
14
0
0
Wait so Yahtzee reviews this but not Assassin's Creed Rogue? Rogue was better than Unity (Apparently) and it was part of the main series too at least according to wikipedia. Come on Yahtzee Rogue is basically the same thing as Black Flag only you get to play as a templar instead. :D
 

maninahat

New member
Nov 8, 2007
4,398
0
0
Assassin's Creed: The Awakening
Assassin's Creed:
Johnny Novgorod said:
RTR said:
That MJF joke. Not cool.
Michael would have a laugh about it. He's the first to poke fun at his condition.

Great, now I want an Assassin's Creed: Your Enthusiasm to be released.
 

T3hSource

New member
Mar 5, 2012
321
0
0
SiskoBlue said:
I actually like the first Assassin's Creed.

There was definitely something wrong with it, but I liked it. They completely abandoned the idea of preparing for an assassination. Well mostly, AssCreed2's linear mission structure was more like GTA style. I've not played GTA Heists but this was one of the first games I remember having missions that helped you prepare for a final mission. Admittedly those mini-missions were poor, and over repeated but I liked the concept. The thing they all lacked though was an exit strategy? What type of master assassin does all that preparation but not once thinks about how they're going to escape afterwards? A suicide bomber, that's who.
Pl aying it for the 3rd time. It's just so conceptually pure, I like the preparations along with what they provide. With a bit more proper world building and mechanical improvements they did later, it would've been an awesome murder simulator.
While the philosophical discourses from the antagonists don't charm me as much, I appreciate their function in humanizing them in some way. That immediately made the much more human than any of the later villains we've seen. I think there was one or so investigations that gave you maps, but those were for approaching the target, not for escaping the scene.
I still prefer it to 2, since I do relate more to Altair questioning everything trying to make sense of it all, rather than Ezio who becomes a Mary Sue after his tragedy.
The biggest mistake of AC1 is the Richard's Kingdom map, even on PC Director's cut you have to trudge through it 3 times, they were really ambitious, overestimating their scope of the game.
 

Steve the Pocket

New member
Mar 30, 2009
1,649
0
0
I don't know understand the comparison to It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, but a video game inspired by that movie sounds like a great idea. It seems like a perfect fit: You play as one (or two, in an optional co-op mode) of many colorful characters who are eligible to claim a massive cash prize, and the only thing standing in their way is each other. Think No More Heroes crossed with Borderlands with the wacky sensibilities of a modern Saints Row game. The biggest challenge would probably be coming up with a way to stagger the encounters with your opponents in way that creates a compelling progression from beginning to end regardless of which character you play as.
 

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
4,954
6
13
I really must get around to completing Chronic China. Though Chronic India can fuck off with its' timed levels. I hear the 3rd will be set in Chronic Russia, so as long as they cut the pressured time limits, i'm all over that as Russia brings pleasant feelings for some reason.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
0
0
Nice use of the Big Red Exclamation Point from Metal Gear Solid. The way he described how fast enemies spot you sounded just like that. Come to think of it, who is writing the in-game database entries? For most of the previous games (II, Brotherhood, III, parts of Unity, Syndicate), it was Yahtzee's favorite character, Shawn Hastings.
T3hSource said:
SiskoBlue said:
I actually like the first Assassin's Creed.

There was definitely something wrong with it, but I liked it. They completely abandoned the idea of preparing for an assassination. Well mostly, AssCreed2's linear mission structure was more like GTA style. I've not played GTA Heists but this was one of the first games I remember having missions that helped you prepare for a final mission. Admittedly those mini-missions were poor, and over repeated but I liked the concept. The thing they all lacked though was an exit strategy? What type of master assassin does all that preparation but not once thinks about how they're going to escape afterwards? A suicide bomber, that's who.
Pl aying it for the 3rd time. It's just so conceptually pure, I like the preparations along with what they provide. With a bit more proper world building and mechanical improvements they did later, it would've been an awesome murder simulator.
While the philosophical discourses from the antagonists don't charm me as much, I appreciate their function in humanizing them in some way. That immediately made the much more human than any of the later villains we've seen. I think there was one or so investigations that gave you maps, but those were for approaching the target, not for escaping the scene.
I still prefer it to 2, since I do relate more to Altair questioning everything trying to make sense of it all, rather than Ezio who becomes a Mary Sue after his tragedy.
The biggest mistake of AC1 is the Richard's Kingdom map, even on PC Director's cut you have to trudge through it 3 times, they were really ambitious, overestimating their scope of the game.
The way I figure it, in the first game, the maps you pick-pocketed or got from informants helped you come up with the escape plan, as well as the infiltration one. Otherwise, it's the same escape plan every time: run and hide in the nearest pile of hay until the heat's off.
And it's kind of funny recalling all those post-kill parts, where the targets tried to justify their actions. Some were understandable, others were deluded, and one guy was such a dick that Altair stabbed him again on principle.
 

Flatfrog

New member
Dec 29, 2010
885
0
0
Steve the Pocket said:
I don't know understand the comparison to It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, but a video game inspired by that movie sounds like a great idea. It seems like a perfect fit: You play as one (or two, in an optional co-op mode) of many colorful characters who are eligible to claim a massive cash prize, and the only thing standing in their way is each other. Think No More Heroes crossed with Borderlands with the wacky sensibilities of a modern Saints Row game. The biggest challenge would probably be coming up with a way to stagger the encounters with your opponents in way that creates a compelling progression from beginning to end regardless of which character you play as.
I totally want to play this game now. To the extent that I can't believe it doesn't already exist.
 

ccggenius12

New member
Sep 30, 2010
717
0
0
I may have to purchase it if they go the Armageddon route. Because clearly it would be easier to teach trained killers how to fly a space ship AND operate a drill than either of the two alternatives. Presumably because the incoming meteor is actually a Space Nazi death weapon/invasion platform, and they need to kill Space Hitler, in space.