Zero Punctuation: Bayonetta

[ckeymel]

While I usually don't take Yahtzees reviews seriously I do have to agree with this one. The sexual exploitation of this game is actually keeping me away from it.
I'm getting sick of games that overuse sex in their games.

I still feel like Bayonetta was one of the few games to showcase a strong, sexy, powerful female lead, the likes of which we rarely see in videogames and I really hope that Yahtzee focuses his written piece this week on that. I love Bayonetta to pieces for what she represents, and while I agree that she is pretty ridiculously proportioned, I still find her attractive.

Bayonetta is woman! Rah!

 

[Kanashe]

I knew that Australia sucked when it came to talent, comedy or even good entertaiment

Yahtzee is British, Philistine.

Meh, British, Australian. They all suck when it comes to comedy and can go to hell for all I care.

Hugh Laurie. Monty Python. Your argument is invalid.

Sucks, and super sucks.

 

[omegawyrm]

What's up with you people who are saying "I agree with you, I won't get this game." Did you miss the part where he said it was fun and he recommended the game? Hard to miss considering it's something he hardly ever does.

Anyway, I'm happy to see Yahtzee give Bayonetta a fair look for what it actually is. Hopefully he's turning over a new leaf of saying good things about the fun aspects of a game.

 

[MichaelMaverick]

Good review to my utmost surprise. Thought it would be his new most-hated game, not that he'd actually like it. Actually didn't even *mention* Bayonetta's completely unlikeable character, and that's saying a lot.

Honestly needs to drop the part where he assigns the "good" and "evil" alignment to individual parties in the game - he himself once said doing that was bullshit. And him not knowing how to pronounce a Japanse name is frustrating when at one point he said that not all anime is bad, but to even create an opinion like that, he'd HAVE to at least know how to pronounce Japanese, for god's sake.

 

[CopperBoom]

No desire to play this game, before or after the review, but I am sure happy to have had it.

 

[jamesthird]

Its a shame you had to play the PS3 version it was really badly coded port and therefore lags and takes ages to load and doesn't look as good or control as well... I enjoyed it but, the cheap deaths and enemy telegraphing pissed me off too

 

[TexasAssassin]

Hilarity is the norm but you should have tried the 360 version so load times wouldn't have been featured in your weekly rant. And yes it's over the top but in the same way House of the Dead Overkill was. Couple that with fewer technical issues and you may have enjoyed it /gasp

 

[BlueAnubis]

What I have to wonder is, how the hell would you pull the trigger of a gun that's connected to your boot? I mean seriously, if you had pistols in your stelletos, the barrel would get more and more clogged with every other step and most likely explode every time you pulled the special trigger with your toes.

 

[DanHibiki]

What I have to wonder is, how the hell would you pull the trigger of a gun that's connected to your boot? I mean seriously, if you had pistols in your stelletos, the barrel would get more and more clogged with every other step and most likely explode every time you pulled the special trigger with your toes.

Normally I'd say a wizard did it, but in this case it's a witch.

 

[Kingsman]

"HOW ABOUT I AGREE TO REVIEW BORDERLANDS WHEN IT AGREES TO SHOP CRASHING ON ME?"

Ouch. Okay, okay, shutting up, I liked the review.

 

[Ickorus]

Great review, had me laughing as alot of recent reviews haven't.

 

[Doug]

Oh thank god I'm not the only one who isn't forgetting Bayonetta is tits, arse, and offensively heavy levels of Japanese insanity.

 

[Joe Deadman]

I have no problem getting Borderlands to work. And since that's a problem exclusive to PC users, I assume that Yahtzee is wasting all his "hard earned" money on Branston Pickle and Cornettos rather than on a decent PC.

Actually he's already said that he thinks Borderlands is shit and has no intention of reviewing it. Because it's an RPG and has a multiplayer hook, he has no interest and can't bring himself to play it for more than five minutes. I respect that not everyone likes Borderlands, but if you're goning to play a game for five minutes and then declare it shit. I really can't respect you as a reviewer.

Unless you're playing something like Custer's Revenge.

I likewise have no problems running borderlands even with my ancient computer and enjoy it (even with the connection issues on the pc version) however I was just reffering to a part in the credits where he said "how about I review borderlands when it agrees to stop crashing".

Personally i've never viewed yahtzee as a reviewer he's more of a comedic critic in the purest form of the word as he picks out every flaw in a game and makes fun of it. To tell the truth I can totally picture yahtzee cashing in his paycheck and then rushing down to a store to buy cornettos and branston pickle thanks for getting that stuck in my head.

 

[Humppaporo]

Yay Yathzee is back! Well technically he never went anywhere but reviews are back to the old standards or better. Great.

 

[Xanadeas]

I kinda liked the game... Though the sex appeal was wasted on me. I did kinda hate how every level after the first gave me a failing grade. It wouldn't be a problem if some of these bastards didn't have some really cheap always gonna hit you no matter what moves. >_<

 

[oneshotfinchy]

Good job explaining the plot, he did much better than I did. I still don't know whether he likes the game though. Also why didn't he get the 360 version? Any ounce of research would have told him they did a poor port.

 

[Rayansaki]

Bayonetta is a very solid game with crappy port to PS3 and terrible marketing campaign that made everyone think it was a softcore porn game.
Yes, if you like DMC or GOW you should get it, it is a great game and has the best combat ever in the genre. Or at least until GOW3 beats it! And the QTE's aren't that terrible, there are too few of them so you won't expect them when they show, but if you fail them you wont have to replay more than 10 seconds so it isn't very punishing.

 

[Moeez]

Kamiya is getting better at putting the really cool action in his cutscenes through the gameplay, as evidenced by the Torture Attacks in this game. But yeah, I was always frustrated that you'd be resorted to be seeing the coolest action scene in just a cutscene, like Dante killing demons with snooker balls and cues.

I'm not a fan of his games though, with the focus on just building a big combo and end-level scores with boring AI. And this game, it's sometimes visually too much crap going on in the screen.

 

[Jory]

Not as good as Darksiders. But I did totally forget it was Wednesday and get a little giddy when I saw I had something to watch.

Good stuff

 

[Kojiro ftt]

I rented it, it's a fun game but given the current game climate, I won't be missing it when I return it today.

EDIT: Load times aren't too bad on the 360, I barely noticed them. And you could always install to the HDD if you found it to be a problem.