Zero Punctuation: Bionic Commando

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adman

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May 29, 2009
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I heard things about this game, that it was crap - average.

This confirms it.

I HATE PEPSI TOO :3
 

Defenestra

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Apr 16, 2009
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I think he raised some legitimate complaints. Badgered-up physics are a problem, but not as much as unmarked instant-death walls. That's all kinds of messed up, at least put in a buffer zone in which one's geiger counter bionic-arm upgrade chirps.

Or make the rads part of gameplay instead of an obnoxious impediment to it. Say, give you a radiation meter that builds when you're in irradiated territory and empties when you leave it, maybe some kind of protective system with limited capacity.

But the load times would really get me. Actually, having to face install times on a console would get me. It's a frelling console, you're supposed to stick a game in it and play. Not stick a game in, do your laundry, clean the kitchen, teach the dog to play the accordion and then play.

I'd also be annoyed over the inability to clobber things with pepsi machines. Maybe they could disgorge pop cans if you hit someone with them hard enough? :)
 

IsoNeko

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Oct 6, 2008
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Letter of the week should be a feature. So we all get to laugh at others idiocy and make ourselves feel good inside.

I know I'm not the only one thinking it.
 

Quadtrix

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Dec 17, 2008
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I've no beef against Pepsi, but it's far from my favorite soda. Mug Root Beer FTW!
 

Britisheagle

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May 21, 2009
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Brilliant as ever!
That letter at the end was fantastic albeit the person who sent it needs to seek help lol
And coka cola is far better than pepsi but i hate product placement in games as it is
 

Snyper5527

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Jun 3, 2009
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Loading...... I think this review Loading......... is a pretty good Loading........ -.- Loading....... oh for fuc- Loading........
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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Finally a "your mum" joke that I can willingly visualise...
Wow, my mom kicks ass.
 

Paulrus_Keaton

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Apr 23, 2009
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I feel for the guy who wrote the letter at the end. The is no way he can be that stupid, it had to be a joke.

And Pepsi does taste like crap.
 

metagross111

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Jan 21, 2009
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You know what I would find funny? If Yahtzee was influential enough to affect product sales. Just imagine a worldwide boycott on Pepsi now. Suddenly Yahtzee becomes very important.
 

metagross111

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Jan 21, 2009
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Paulrus_Keaton said:
I feel for the guy who wrote the letter at the end. The is no way he can be that stupid, it had to be a joke.

And Pepsi does taste like crap.
You don't know who John Sterling is, do you?
 

birdman_91

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May 20, 2009
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To: nathan-dts

Don't be retarded with capitalization
and dont speel check me when you cant spell either
it's douche not "douch"
besides i wasn't being a douche, i was saying how i thought he had already reviewed this
 

ssgt splatter

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Oct 8, 2008
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Revelo said:
Also, did someone seriously write to him asking where to buy Duke Nukem Forever?! I don't want to judge but how stupid and disconnected from society can someone get?!
I know that feeling. I almost thought the game had come out too but around the part where he said the game comes on 14 DVDs it clicked in my head that he was joking.
 

LadyZephyr

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Nov 1, 2007
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Okay, someone break out the spoiler tags and tell us the plot twist.

ETA: Oh god, TV Tropes knew it. Get this:

Soylent Green: In the sequel, it's revealed that all bionic limbs are created by killing a loved one and installing their brain into the limb. I Am Not Making This Up. So Yeah.