Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops

[catalyst8]

i don't play fps so i don't really care about the game, just looking for a laugh, and i have to say, i tire of the anti-America nationalistic superiority kick that is so in fashion at the present. I'm not angered by it or anything just bored with it.

So in fashion at the present? It's nothing new & if anything, & this is from memory, it's diminished over the last four decades. Bear in mind that it's mainly, though not exclusively, due to the US' history of bizarre foreign policies.

Edit: Grammar.

 

[Okysho]

I don't really approve of his pining for war, but overall I have to agree with some of his political... metaphors...

He's not the one pining, Treyarch and the other wargame developers are.

Though to be honest, I think that these games are actually fulfilling that "let's have a war" desire a low economy brings on, and that without them we'd probably be greasing up the tanks.

That's a good point. But for people who don't play video games... we're finding ourselves in the same situation. It feels like the economic downturn before WWII all over again (not that I'm will into my 90s or anything, I just take history courses at school)

Besides that, now that the Republicans have taken over most of the US, it feels like there's only a matter of time before things spill over. Those guys have their own hidden agendas are I swear have got some loose cannons that manage to get whatever they want when they're in power...

But that's all politics for another thread.

I'll admit the howlermonkey might have been a bit too far, but hey, that's yahtzee. He's right though about the messages that CoD are sending... I always suspected that they were some sort of propaganda material and waved it away because I didn't think anyone would stoop that low, but after playing them, I'm beginning to think that maybe Activision is getting some under the table funding from a PMC or something and in exchange they provide gullible recruits...

Please prove me wrong... it's actually not a pleasant thought

 

[Thorinair]

*Too much to be reposted*

That's the way the world is, sadly. The US is the punching bag for impotent rage for mostly undeserved reasons.

 

[jimduckie]

gee this was a great review , black ops should of been an add on to mw2 ... zombies again ? i hate fuck'n zombies ... as for the game it should of been a multiplayer game only with a training mode to get players leveled up faster... as for earning cash in the game ,that was pointless

 

[Chewster]

These games are never going to have good single player modes. Not when hordes of sweary, teabagging teenagers are lining up to pay for multiplayer mode so they can wave their digital derriere at someone's bullet ridden corpse.

Yes, and this is a shame, because the story in the first Modern Warfare was not too bad, and was of an actual decent length so as not to feel completely ripped off.

I guess those days are gone, after the ten minute single player that was MW2.

Fuck multiplayer. Srsly.

 

[Becoming Insane]

Dear Yahtzee (or whoever reads these posts, if anyone)

Thank you very much for the first good laugh I've had from watching a ZP episode in way too long.

Sincerely,
Me

 

[elpresidente]

As a non-American I can say that the part about America almost gave me a boner. That was a really good review. And it's obvious that the Americans were offended, they whine like little girls. If you guys don't want the rest of the world to hate you, vote for politicians who will close all of your 1000 military bases situated around the globe, and will stop meddling with the inner policy of the countries around the world. You fooled yourself with the illusion that you're the good guys for too long. It's time for reality check.

 

[Thorinair]

What our politicians do is out of our hands. They will say anything to be voted in. And I fail to see how Anti-Americanism is a good thing, or at least a good thing to you.

 

[Tiewing]

This is only an interactive movie...

If I heard correctly, he is playing on hardened? Even though that is the first level of the game, and its more or less meant to introduce the player to the ?Michael Bay American Jerk off session that is call of duty,? and not provide too much of a challenge to the player, it is still a shame to see that this is what single player shooter experiences have come to. (Just a string of heavily scripted events.) This can?t even really be called an interactive movie. It?s more like being a camera man with a gun in his hand, while you watch the action unfold and have the opportunity to shoot a little if you get bored. I was also going to say a rail shooter without the rails but at least in those you kind of have to shoot.

 

[Memor-X]

i doubt Yahtzee will read this but if he does, when did you start to make this week's episode cause earlier in the week the North and South Korea started to fight again, if it does start another Korean war, what's the chances that Korea might attack the US if they get involved, or Russia sees that while the US army is gone, they can come and invade

i've also noticed that a lot of war games is the US fighting Russia, why does it have to be killing that settles the fight, why cant the 2 just play 50 rounds of rock paper scissors every year, looser has to give up territory, or even better, why doesn't a game designer make an Online FPS game that countries can use to fight wars in, so instead of waisting money, time killing each other they can just waist time killing each other online, that way we can see who are the biggest jerks why counting the number of times someone teabags a corpse

C.C: cause if we could do that, wouldn't game designers be gods than
Me: not till Panderis is done
C.C: then what about getting countries to fight wars in Wow, after all, it's called World of Warcraft, a world of the Craft of War
Me: notice how i never said about waisting lives, we would still waist some lives in an online FPS game but if we used WoW for wars, we would be waisting way more lives, Wow is the 2nd most destructive weapon to nukes

 

[PinochetIsMyBro]

"Hey eastern europe, how about we do the genocide this time? *flicks a switchblade out*"

Couldn't stop laughing at that.

 

[Thorinair]

Okay Yahtzee. I came into this review expecting you to complain about it, as you do, but for it to be somewhat funny. No I got you being an anti-American douchebag again. To the point I'm actually disgusted enough with you to tell you so. Given my penchant towards apathy that's kind of impressive.


This here is what you appear to be degenerating into.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallNameBigEgo

A pretentious ass with delusions of grandeur. Delusions which are certainly not aided any by your legions, or perhaps hordes is the more precise term, of adoring sycophants.

While I agree some behaviors may be overblown, your strong hatred of America seems to border on the pathological. The type of thing you tend to see in the very ignorant. Which is amusing as it seems to be what you constantly rally against.

Also as for the game itself. It is a black ops game. It's just basically what happens in black ops when everything that can go wrong does.

As for the world war thing. I actually do agree with the idea on a hypothetical basis that mankind needs a bit of culling. However, the manner in which you suggested it is telling of your ignorance. Because you know all the people who need to be culled live in America right? Not anywhere else?

Why not invade Australia? As obviously the only kind of people there are hardcore fascists intent on censoring all thought that doesn't please them, and pretentious asses like you. Wait I just repeated myself didn't I?

That last bit was obviously facetious for the stupid out there. However, it was a sign I can make the same ignorant generalizations as you can sir.

Note, I am somewhat ambivalent about my homeland as it stands. However, that doesn't mean I don't grow intensely tired of listening to everyone acting like we are the devil or whatever other omnipresent evil people wish to portray us as.

Countries are made of people. Lots of people are corrupt, stupid, or hateful. Painting everyone in a large country with the same brush is just insulting.

If you didn't go back again and again and again with your america hate I would attribute it to normal joking or misanthropy however you keep coming back to it.

In conclusion, I hereby request that you remove your bloated pompous head from your ass and maybe stab a pin into your head to let some of the ego and hot air out of it. Then you could attempt to make normal funny ranting reviews of video games without all of this ignorant political bigotry vitriol that has become so disgustingly prevalent of your reviews of late.

Good day sir.

You cannot fathom how much I agree. It an agree-a-palooza here.

 

[Nocturnal Gentleman]

What our politicians do is out of our hands. They will say anything to be voted in. And I fail to see how Anti-Americanism is a good thing, or at least a good thing to you.

Pretty much what I was going to say. In fact the more I see of this anti-american mess the more it feels like I'm watching a schoolyard bullying scenario. People insult what they don't understand. They come up with solutions that are never as easy as they think they are. They over generalize to the point where it's painfully obvious that they're just following someone else or again don't know what they're talking about. It's ridiculous.

Plus, I find the death to Americans mess kind of disturbing and somewhat ironic. People from other countries agree that we're just a variety of world cultures mish-mashed on the same continent. You know, including people that probably came from their country and proudly represent it every day. I don't even think people realize how many Americans are dual citizens. All my friends in high school had at least one parent from another country.

 

[Thorinair]

It doesn't matter. The US is just the world's scapegoat and we can't change that. Let them have their fun, let Yahtzee have his ego run rampant, let them all do whatever they want. Because what it all boils down to is ignorance. Yeah, surprising isn't it? Imagine, Non-Americans can be ignorant too. Funny that.

 

[RUINER ACTUAL]

Hopefully we'll all love Homefront!
And yes, zombies do seem to be a necessary requirement now.

It does look amazing. The story sounds like just the thing Yahtzee wants. And the multiplayer looks really fun. Hopefully it will be packed with sweet weapons too.

 

[MrGalactus]

this one was great! Both funny, and a good review. You are on top form lately Mr. Croshaw!

 

[thepyrethatburns]

It doesn't matter. The US is just the world's scapegoat and we can't change that. Let them have their fun, let Yahtzee have his ego run rampant, let them all do whatever they want. Because what it all boils down to is ignorance. Yeah, surprising isn't it? Imagine, Non-Americans can be ignorant too. Funny that.

Translation:WAAAHHHHH!!!! Someone is taking a shot at the poor lil' U.S.

Look, this is very simple. If you want the world to stop blaming the U.S., then the U.S. has to stop blowing the crap out of foreign countries and start acting like a civilized country should.

What our politicians do is out of our hands. They will say anything to be voted in.

This excuse would be okay in a dictatorship. The U.S. is a constitutional republic which votes their leaders in. Therefore the citizens are ultimately responsible for what their leaders do.

And, frankly, what U.S. politicians do IS reflective of the populace. I go to a few political boards and one of the big trends right now is "Why doesn't the U.S. just jump into N. Korea and slap them silly?". Before that, more than a few kept advancing the notion that the C.I.A. should "silence" Julian Assange because he has, using the military's own records, embarrassed the U.S. military (which says something about how much people want to stick their fingers in their ears and hum loudly about the actions of the American government and it's military).

On the first day of the Iraq Invasion, a co-worker in MPE was watching the air assault on Baghdad and whooping it up over the best fireworks show he's ever seen. At the time, I dryly noted that there are people on the other end of those bombs.

No, this excuse doesn't really work.

The "America needs to be wiped out" stuff is pretty much the same thing any dominant world power has gotten. It's just with advances in media we can hear more of it, much more quickly. Spain, Britan, France, and others have all gotten their chance at being dominant global powers and every one of them was hated at the time.

Spoken like someone who hasn't been outside the country. A lot of the hate that each country got at the time was due to the inhumane way they treated others. For example, the people living in the Ivory Coast hated the French not because of some deep-seated envy of the French but because of the atrocities that the French visited upon the natives.

Other countries might have some envy of the U.S. but most of the actual hatred comes from people who have lost family members to U.S. bombs or from nations that have watched a successive line of Presidents declare that the best way to bring democracy to people is to murder large segments of those people.

We're nicer than most other dominant global powers were,

Iraq, Yugoslavia, Panama, and quite a few other countries would take issue with that statement.

but that doesn't change the fact that the people on the bottom of any system are ALWAYS going to be discontent, and the rest of the world is always going to be envious when they see another culture dominating because every people ultimatly wants their way to be #1 in the world and to be assimilating other people like dominant world powers do.

Facepalm .....this....isn't a parody video to you, is it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWS-FoXbjVI

While I agree some behaviors may be overblown, your strong hatred of America seems to border on the pathological. The type of thing you tend to see in the very ignorant. Which is amusing as it seems to be what you constantly rally against.

There is no law stating that everyone has to like all other countries. Certainly, the love U.S. citizens have for Muslim countries these days is underwhelming.

As for the world war thing. I actually do agree with the idea on a hypothetical basis that mankind needs a bit of culling. However, the manner in which you suggested it is telling of your ignorance. Because you know all the people who need to be culled live in America right? Not anywhere else?

Part of the thrust of this comment is that, if the U.S. had a war on their own soil, MAYBE the idea of bombing other countries, both in media and in real life, might lose a little luster.

Why not invade Australia?

How many countries has Australia invaded recently?

Countries are made of people. Lots of people are corrupt, stupid, or hateful. Painting everyone in a large country with the same brush is just insulting.

Germany....COD WW2 games. Russia/Muslim countries.....Modern Warfare games as well as just about any U.S. media in the 80s. Pot....Kettle. Etc.

 

[Strain42]

One of the worst ZPs I've seen in a while. It wasn't even all that funny, just a lot of anti-america bullcrap. I'm not even a CoD fan (never played any of the games) I just didn't find this episode funny. I know that Yahtzee can't be expected to be all gold all the time, so I just hope that next weeks episode is better.

 

[Thorinair]

Do you want to know who has power in the US? It's not the hard working Americans, not the intelligent ones, no, it's none of those. It's the rich lobbyists. I have some questions for any Americans here; did you, at any point in your life, vote for a declaration of war? Did you ever vote for the bombing of another country? Do you, personally have any say in the foreign policy besides what the politician decides they are going to do? You're argument that the American people are personally responsible for the wars we enter is wrong.

EDIT:

Other countries might have some envy of the U.S. but most of the actual hatred comes from people who have lost family members to U.S. bombs or from nations that have watched a successive line of Presidents declare that the best way to bring democracy to people is to murder large segments of those people.

I was under the impression we were not talking about countries that have been legitimately harmed by the US's actions. I thought we were talking about people that have no reason to hate the US besides some imagined moral superiority.

 

[Rannxz]

Not sure why there is all this hate for America. It's the most culturally diversified nation and has at least one person from every other country in this world. It's one of the most democratically free nations in the world.(Care to voice your opinion in North Korea? Nice knowing you...) It has one of the largest economies in the world, is ranked 3rd in population density, and is the most well-defended Country in the world. It's allied with over 100 nations in the world, and even though were almost 14 trillion dollars in debt, dozens of countries are in debt with us.

Citizens from other countries want to call American people all fatasses who eat at McDonalds...Okay. What ever country you're from has a stereotype as well. Not everyone is fat in the country, and not only American's are fat.

Want to complain that we act like peace keepers and try to maintain the peace? Well, sure, our Country likes to impose our beliefs with others, but so has many other countries as well. Plus, every single war we've been involved in(yes...every single one) has had at least another country helping America. Every disaster, every issue, every problem our world faced that America has tried to help(whether good, bad or indifferent) at least one of country has assisted as well.

Every issue others have with America most likely involves their country as well. It's just idiotic to hate a Country, when your country is most likely doing the same thing. Most of the people on this forum I see really don't know what they're talking about and want to jump on the 'I hate America' bandwagon.

Good for you, you hate one of the fastest growing super power nations this Earth has ever seen. It's a shame that America has most likely helped your country at one point during it's existence.

I know this post is gonna be dissected and flamed from a couple of people. But, whatever. The world would be bland if everyone had the same opinions. I hope you voice yours like I did mine.