Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Ghosts

Something Amyss

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Evonisia said:
It's weird that the message is "The only people who can beat America is America" with that laser, they can't be sympathetic when they practically caused their own downfall.
I think you overestimate the target audience for modern military shooters. Loud white Americans who are probably doubly pissed that not only is America under attack, it's under attack because some brown people stole the toy we were going to use to kill brown people.

I'm not saying you have to be a paranoid racist to like Call of Duty games (BLOPS 2 was quite fun, even), but I do think it's marketed to the 'brown people are scary' crowd. Or, I think that's the subtext to a lot of the jingoism we're getting these days.

In short, I think America is sympathetic to the Americans this game is marketed to, at least in sufficient numbers.

JoJo said:
Brutal, as expected. My brother picked this up a few days ago but I haven't had the chance to give it a try yet.

Also, that ending was possibly creepier than anything even Jim Sterling has done on this site before.
I laughed at the bit about dying in a pose that would confuse future archaeologists.

Grach said:
Everyone pretty much figured from the first trailer that it wasn't going to be any different from the previous one.
You need to tell that to my friends list.

Pretty much any of them.

Jman1236 said:
Seriousally south america invades the US? I call BS!
You know how zombies were originally an analogue for black people? Well, maybe you don't, but early zombies, before they were a commentary on commercialism or republicans or whatever else the writer wants to call mindless, they were an analgoe for black people. There was this fear that black people were going to take us by storm in the US, and America would be ruined by having....Slightly higher melanin in the skin? I don't know.

I suspect this plays off the fear that 'Mexicans,' because pretty much anyone to the South of the US is called that it seems, are invading us and destroying America. I mean, you'd have to ignore the numbers, where the number of illegals is no longer increasing (and may actually be decreasing, depending on the source), but people seem happy to do it. If you believe Fox News, it's a miracle they haven't completely overrun the South and Southwest. And, because Fox wouldn't be Fox without race baiting, all those imaginary brown people seem to have some sinister plan to destroy America from within.

Brown people from our south attacking us with our own infrastructure sounds like someone played perfectly into that paranoid mess.

Basically, zombies became a thing in America based on the premise that black people are scary.

MMS would probably be a thing, period, but I'm sure cashing in on the notion that brown people are scary isn't hurting anyone's wallet.

josh4president said:
But what about the multiplayer, Yahtzee?
don't be silly. Nobody buys COD for the multiplayer. Nobody.
 

Mike Fang

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I was wondering when Yahtzee would be reviewing another spunkgargleweewee game. And as expected, he went on about the same points he has in just about every CoD game; not that it's entirely his fault, since from the sound of it each game's plot and gameplay barely differs from the previous installment.
 

LordMonty

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Its not a game I think people go to for any sense of logical story telling, its the foxnews of gaming.
 

Mr. Q

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I was wondering when we were going to get the latest entry in the Spunkgargleweewee franchise. The Monty Python reference in the beginning pretty much sums up CoD from the first Modern Warfare game onward. Second verse, same as the first. Makes me wonder, if this game continues, what will be the next implausible enemy to knock on 'Merica's front door. My money is on the Ministry of Silly Walks.
 

Imp_Emissary

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Wow. I think that may be the worst you've ever been on a COD story, Yahtzee.
Probably earned ire though.

Also; D: JAM!
JoJo said:
Brutal, as expected. My brother picked this up a few days ago but I haven't had the chance to give it a try yet.

Also, that ending was possibly creepier than anything even Jim Sterling has done on this site before.
I don't know. Have you heard his Willem Dafoe screenplay? <.<
 

PunkRex

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Fucking South America, are you shitting me!? Christ, lets just drop any semblance of reality COD and have the freaking English do it, thats more plausible than FUCKING SOUTH AMERICA!!!
 

Erttheking

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Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!
 

Deathfish15

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Is anyone really surprised that the latest in the Call of Duty milking operation is nothing more than dry powder that puffs from a chaffed tit which dried up years ago? Activision is going to keep milking this sad, pathetic excuse of an "IP" until such time as they cause it to implode; and based on the intellect of the average American -and players of these games-, that won't be happening any time soon.



Yahtzee, I'm sorry that you were put into a position to actually play this dribble just to review it. The only thing I think could have made it moderately tolerable is that it was so bad it was funny, thus you got a very long laugh out of it while doing your job. Still, enjoy your freedom from the hellish nightmare until next year's iteration (probably going to be "Call of Duty: Nuke the Whales" ).
 

Aardvaarkman

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Jul 14, 2011
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JJJAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM... Best advertisement ever!

If you'll excuse me, I need to make some toast. Will the sequel be called "Marmalade" or are you going to come out of left-field and call it "Branston Pickle"?
 

Elijah Newton

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Can't say enough to agree with the problems of the premise. I can't shake the feeling that these games, whse crazy, rampant xenophobia seem to be excused as weakly written 'plots', are going to be our generation's blackface minstrel shows.

I loved the stinger, particularly the bit about the most which could be hoped for in death was to be found in a pose which confused archeologists.

Zachary Amaranth said:
Evonisia said:
You know how zombies were originally an analogue for black people? Well, maybe you don't, but early zombies, before they were a commentary on commercialism or republicans or whatever else the writer wants to call mindless, they were an analgoe for black people. There was this fear that black people were going to take us by storm in the US, and America would be ruined by having....Slightly higher melanin in the skin? I don't know.
Source(s), please? I'm not arguing zombies haven't been a metaphorical stand-in for racial tension from time to time but I am curious what works you're referencing with this timeline.
 

MichaelMaverick

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Nice plug at the end, might look into the audio version. And for the record, I'm pretty sure the one whispering "Jaaaaaaam" was Gabriel.
 

Two-A

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PunkRex said:
Fucking South America, are you shitting me!? Christ, lets just drop any semblance of reality COD and have the freaking English do it, thats more plausible than FUCKING SOUTH AMERICA!!!
Yes!. We will attack with sticks, stones and political corruption. They will never see it coming.

Never mind the fact that getting ALL of South America (or any other continent that has more than 2 countries in it) to agree to do something together it's unlikely, to say the least.

I hope they didn't give all the villians Mexican accents (please, please tell me they didn't).
 

VikingKing

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With the enemy country in question, I'm surprised there wasn't a single reference towards the US acting like a soccer player pretending to be badly injured to get an unfair advantage.
 

Arnoxthe1

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You know what the funniest thing is? I remember IW specifically saying that they wanted to do something different for this game instead of just making another Modern Warfare. Maybe they were talking about the Multiplayer or something...
 

Jaeger_CDN

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josh4president said:
But what about the multiplayer, Yahtzee?
He's pretty much said before that he hates and won't review MP and I don't blame him since it's subjective to the server and people you play with
 

Rassmusseum

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I picked up a paperback copy of Jam awhile back but never finished reading it. I'll probably get the audiobook though since I can just do whatever while Yahtzee does all the work of reading it to me.
 

Darth_Payn

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I had to laugh at the joke about outsourcing weapons development to Megatron, because NERD ALERT he gets most of his weapons from Shockwave, who secretly plots against him to takeover leading the Decepticons. END NERD ALERT

OT: very funny video, disappointed there's a LACK of much playing with the dog. Bit of a rip-off, I say. Scuba dog would have been son CUTE!
And I would buy JAM: The Audiobook if it had the same soundtrack as that stinger.
 

hentropy

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Most of the Pokemon villains seem to be more realistic than CoD villains/storylines nowadays. It's like some sort of Team Tortilla from an incredibly racist fanfiction. It'll sell a billion and CoDbros will be all "play it for the multiplayer duh". But like Yahtzee the prospect of making an entire game based off of multiplayer to me is just... no. TF2 being the only possible exception, and even that was only an obsession that lasted a few months before it got too annoying.

If Jam is read in that same tone the entire book, I'll probably pick up the audiobook version.