Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Ghosts

[FallenMessiah88]

*sigh*...Here we go again...

I don't know what to say. A lot of reviewers say it's bad, but I haven't played it yet so i'll reserve my final judgement until then.

 

[Enlong]

Well, who the hell buys CoD for singleplayer anymore?

Please, stand up and say your name, so that we may oggle at the oddity that is you.

See, that's not much of an argument.

It's the Gears of War situation again. Had Yahtzee said that CODGhosts' single player was amazing, nobody would have said that they don't care about the single player campaign.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

Well that's a thing then. I'm gonna go back to playing Brutal Doom, thanks.

 

[Boogie Knight]

Hasn't there been nuclear war yet in the Call of Duty series? Why not just have an old fashioned resource war as the setup for a game? The United States can still have the killbots and high tech stuff, but lack of resources to maintain the high tech gear makes them very valuable but only as an ace up the sleeve when the situation is dire. It also justifies people we normally wouldn't think of as threats being antagonists, they're the strongest simply because they were the least f-ed up by the previous war. Further, with the simple goal of getting the resources to keep their own civilization going, it would set up moral ambiguity which would come across as more genuine.

A damn shame the dog was just another toy to throw away. Would have been fun if he was a core aspect of the game. I might have forced myself to play it while pretending the dog is the son of Hewie from Haunting Ground carrying on his father's secret war against alchemy

 

[moggett88]

I don't think we should be criticizing the developers for the prevalence of burly white dudes - the money they saved on alternate character models is clearly what allows for the staggering degree of innovation the series is known for.

 

[McFazzer]

On the topic of "America is OP" (Even if MW 1-3 was more British SAS and America as a way to fill in the gaps) if anyone wants to read a story where America is a Villain, try Seven Ancient Wonders by Matthew Reilly. Sure it's got mystical junk and technology that doesn't make much sense, but it's no worse than COD and has a very Indiana Jones/A-Team feel to the whole thing.

 

[Marowit]

Well, CoD is slowly collapsing it sounds like. Like watching an old person fall over, it looks like slow motion, but it still hurts the person all the same.


As for JAM...that was the most confusing thing I've watched in a while. Is it a book of free flowing consciousness coming from Yahtzee? If that's the case I'm sure many high readers/listeners will come up with some rather profound interpretations.

 

[I.Muir]

Well I did enjoy the mogworld audio book.

You might think they would take risks knowing that everybody will just buy their game anyway. Well except for the battlefield fans.

 

[dystopiaINC]

Wait a minute WHAT!? Orbital missile platforms? Did Activision miss the part where those were outlawed by the Geneva Convention? That's a freaking war crime waiting to happen right there! And who exactly is the US going to nuke? This all coming from a freaking American!

So the basic detailed I gleamed from the inter webs is that the middle east oil supply is dwindling and caused a major economy collapse in most of the developed world. while at the same time large oil deposits were found in he South America and at some point the "federation" forms and begins a hostile take over of South America and then works its way up. the Odin satellite are not nukes they are rods the deal massive kinetic damage but don't leave any nasty radiation. I remember an article about in in the escapist even. I don't know why the satellites were there, but at the start of the game there was no war ongoing and there was some sort of treaty in place that was broken by the villains when they took the satellites and used them on the US and used them as an opening blow, and at the en of the game the villain have built there own orbital satellites and are actively using them on US forces when they are taken away and used against the federation. Something about how he portrayed the situation in the video seemed off so I went and looked up the plot and that what I came away with

anyway not nukes, general politics have taken a massive change, and I think the satellites were what was keeping the war from starting up in the first place.

 

[Objectable]

I'm going to say it: If that was a sample of the audio book, it turned me away from a purchase. Mostly from the stilted voices that were indistinguishable from each other.

 

[Flunk]

Was anyone under the impression that Yahtzee would like this game? Did anyone think that it would actually be any different from the last one?

No, probably not. But like sports games they seem to make the exact same game year after year and still sell out. I don't understand it, but apparently there is an entire demographic that wants to buy the exact same game year after year (with betterz grafix).

P.S. Just for accuracy's sake the US actually does have a giant space laser.

 

[Enlong]

Was anyone under the impression that Yahtzee would like this game? Did anyone think that it would actually be any different from the last one?

No, probably not. But like sports games they seem to make the exact same game year after year and still sell out. I don't understand it, but apparently there is an entire demographic that wants to buy the exact same game year after year (with betterz grafix).

P.S. Just for accuracy's sake the US actually does have a giant space laser.

Wait what? We do? Since when? What's its name?

...and do you actually mean "giant space laser that can be used to attack things on the ground, like Dracula in his moon base", or "giant space laser that sends beams of light out to distant planets to analyze the general temperature of the dust"? Because the latter sounds like the more realistic thing to have happened.

 

[Branindain]

While this spectacularly boring franchise still makes a squajillion dollars a year, its review scores and award nominations are at least in slow decline. Hopefully that's the first step. Probably not though.

 

[IPunchWithMyFists]

Anyone else unable to shake the feeling the Spec Ops: The Line may have warned us about the orbital space cannon bit?

Seriously, someone please acknowledge this, it's driving me crazy.

 

[Reed Spacer]

So I guess you could say it didn't have a Ghost of a chance?

 

[SSJBlastoise]

The lack of the dog mostly is quite weird too, he was the major selling point.

Outside of the first reveal, where was the dog pushed as a major selling point? In any of the adds I saw there was barely any dog action shown. I really don't get where people got this from. I think people are mistaking what the community was going on about rather than what the developers were saying.

Fucking South America, are you shitting me!? Christ, lets just drop any semblance of reality COD and have the freaking English do it, thats more plausible than FUCKING SOUTH AMERICA!!!

It's a game, why does it need to be 100% realistic? People complain about them being the same so they try using an enemy that is hardly ever used instead of reusing China or Russia for the millionth time.

Again with people complaining that Yahtzee doesn't review COD Multiplayer.

1) He's stated numerous times that he doesn't play multiplayer unless he's absolutely forced to by contract (Diablo III, SimCity 5) because it's incredibly repetitive. He seems to dislike any kind of grind and what is multiplayer if not that?

2) He lives in Australia; spelled b-a-d-i-n-t-e-r-n-e-t-c-o-n-n-e-c-t-i-o-n. I can't remember where, but I seem to recall him stating that on the best of days, he gets a laggy connection to a few dozen people and the furthest away is New Zealand. This is COD, a game that relies entirely upon twitches. It takes very few bullets to kill you and the guns fire very fast. It's hardly an unknown fact that the best internet connection wins in COD in the Western hemisphere. Imagine what it would be like for him online.

EDIT

Regarding the story; some people here are saying that IW and Treyarch et al should remove the story section and it will solve all the problems. It sounds like the issues are deeper than that. If the stories really do have all these undertones to them, it's far more troubling than simply having a vestigial option.

1. There was one person that said that in this thread and I am 99% certain he said it sarcasticly

2. As an Australian that is a lie. Yes, our internet is not the best in some places (mainly country areas) but in the cities it is perfectly capable for online gaming. I occasionally play COD online and a number of other games on my laptop online all the time and almost never experience lag.

OT: Does anyone else find it funny that a couple of episodes ago Yahtzee said he won't review Pokémon X and Y because it's too samey yet constantly reviews COD? Other than that it was a decent review but far from his best.

 

[BrownGaijin]

I do find it ironic that the dog had the most personality out of the entire cast members.

 

[Amir Kondori]

They don't call COD the micheal bay of video games for nothing. Seriousally south america invades the US? I call BS! This is why I play only multiplayer in COD, FYI the guard dog killstreak is OP.

Well it couldn't very well be England or France invades the US, COD players would get confused if they virtual people they were killing weren't brown.

 

[gridsleep]

Huh. Couldn't get Ian McKellen to read it into the microphone, eh?

 

[Grabehn]

I absolutely ADORED the Mogworld audiobook and now this? I'm gonna get it right now.

BTw, SA invading the US? Bullshit on that, but the dog gets KILLED? FUCK YOU IW, FUCK YOU! And if it doesn't actually die... FUCK YOU anyways IW.