Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Ghosts

[KDR_11k]

The weapons in Ghosts are inspired by Project ODIN, which uses kinect kill weapons dropped from orbit. These are perfectly legal as they are not classified as WMDs due to not being "Nuclear, Biological, or Chemical" which is how the treaties define WMDs. The only reason we havent built a real version is that the cost of getting the tungsten poles from earth to orbit is so costly that it would out weigh its strategic value.

Don't they destroy a whole city with that sat in the game? That would make it a WMD regardless of the nature of the payload. Same for the microwave beam cannon in Vanquish though that game is just designed to be 100% ridiculous anyway.

 

[PunkRex]

Fucking South America, are you shitting me!? Christ, lets just drop any semblance of reality COD and have the freaking English do it, thats more plausible than FUCKING SOUTH AMERICA!!!

It's a game, why does it need to be 100% realistic? People complain about them being the same so they try using an enemy that is hardly ever used instead of reusing China or Russia for the millionth time.

Look guy/gal, there's a difference between having fun with an idea and being straight up stupid. From what little I know of South America they can just about cobble together a legitimate political party let alone a unified freaking military force capable of invading the US. What are they gonna invade with, farmers mounted on the backs of drug lord hippos!?

Heres an original premise for game developers, the US aren't the under dogs. There, i'm fairly sure when they've rolled with this idea in the past it's worked well.

Look, i'm not ragging on the actual game. I'm one of those people who thinks the vast gaming media should back off the COD games, it's not their fault every out of touch suit wearing mofo feels the need to try and mimic their stuff.

But if COD really wanna score points with me I wanna see the US invaded by te Clangers.

Look a them... what are they planning up there?

 

[Two-A]

CoD needs futuristic US civil war setting
But not the lazy scenario (copying past North vs. South war, but with lasers)
Something more interesting- maybe conglomerate of companies vs. government?

I hope they didn't give all the villians Mexican accents (please, please tell me they didn't).

You know what? At least this would make the game somewhat entertaining
Imagine if every enemy character sounded like stereotypical latinos gang member
Or even better- make them sound like characters from AliG Indahouse
Then at least we would know that it is a parody
But noooo, everything is so goddamn serious, so straightfaced it becomes creepy

Fair enough.

If I ever make a videogame, I'll make sure to include an option that changes all American accents to Canadian ones.

 

[Diablo1099_v1legacy]

I thought this game was going to a prequel be about the guy Ghost from MW2.
Hell, where does Ghosts fit in COD Canon anyway?

I know that:
COD4 > MW2 > MW3
and
Black Ops > Black Ops 2

But unless this is a different timeline...

I know it's nitpicking, but why else would they base the Ghosts off Ghost from MW2?

 

[Triality]

Great video Yahtzee. I bought earlier this year and blew through it quickly. Very funny read. The end left me feeling a little emptier for how many of the cast you killed off whether they deserved it or not. For a comedy story it turned rather depressing in the darkest hour after the climax. I hadn't felt that way since playing Conker's Bad Fur Day. Shame on you, entertaining me.

 

[Spud of Doom]

Very well done this week Yahtzee. You actually took a lot of swings at it that I had not even heard from other sources, but totally made sense. One of the stronger recent episodes.

 

[gjkbgt]

Haven't brought a CoD game since 4
After watching this video i decided to look up some gameplay videos on youtube.

I was surprised by just how dated it looks. I mean if anything it's been simplified since CoD 4.
I mean, compare Ghosts to Farcry 3 (from last yeah). Both are first person shooters.

Ghosts gives you no tactical options all you can do it aim and shoot. you don't even get to choice what gun you use.
And don't say Farcry 3 is sandbox that only means that doesn't anything in moment to moment gameplay.

I don't care about quality of gameplay but games are getting better why isn't this series.

 

[Tim Chuma]

"Call of Duty Dog!", sorry just had to say it.

Shacktac did en interesting mission where one of the players was a dog and could only communicate by barking and chewing on the zombies.

For the life of me I can't find the exact video with the dog, but Beagle, Dslyecxi and CHKilroy have good Youtube channels. They are still playing a seven year old game (ARMA 2), but with special mods such as for the radio to make it more realistic, but not "milsperg" like some people do.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

But what about the multiplayer, Yahtzee?

He's made it a point in several other reviews that if a game can't hold its ground in single player, fuck it.

 

[TheUnbeholden]

so call of duty Ghost isn't a attempt to reinvigorate the franchise with some life, and attempt at a lower calibre coherent dark storyline, but rather the same shit they've done before with different gimmicks this time around... I think we know Infinity Ward well enough now.

Developers with the brains of a publisher.. a scary thing. The series has had some good moments in its clusterfuckness but I think its time to open up the windows, spray some air freshner,
fire a few people and start to get serious about this god damn series!

 

[Mahoshonen]

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that no one posted a link to the Monty Python sketch Yahtzee referred to in his review.

 

[mrdude2010]

Anyway, Yahtzee, did you seriously expected Ghosts to actually feature a weakened US? Everyone pretty much figured from the first trailer that it wasn't going to be any different from the previous one.

One can always hope.

I'm still waiting for the game where some US analogue is treated as the bad guy and the protagonist is horribly outnumbered and out teched.

 

[saiyanwarrior]

I will never understand the appeal of the call of duty games

 

[glider4]

And this is why I don't play COD campaigns. However IF's last 2 attempts at multiplayer were also awful and people are saying this one is too so It's a miss. At least Treyarch's multiplayer and zombie modes are fun.

 

[TheArchbishopJubilee]

I don't know. I haven't played COD games for so long maybe I'm out of touch. I thought the game was fun from simply a shoot 'em up stand point.

It seems like you are taking things way too seriously by expecting "realism" and plausible story-lines, etc. Can't I just shoot some bad guys and look at some cool graphics and maybe for two seconds not feel so bad about spending $400 on a game system that has no games?

I can't believe you injected race somehow into this. I didn't even notice. That you did I think says something about you. How many black guys are appropriate? Tell me. Maybe you can set up a committee that determines the proportion of women to men that need to be in each game. Then once you've achieved your fantasy ideal mix of race and sex, you can then go on to complain that the game doesn't focus on game-play.

Yahtzee, I think in some ways you yourself sold out on this video. You bought a COD game and now you are complaining that it's a COD game. What did you expect?

 

[mlow44]

I don't know. I haven't played COD games for so long maybe I'm out of touch. I thought the game was fun from simply a shoot 'em up stand point.

It seems like you are taking things way too seriously by expecting "realism" and plausible story-lines, etc. Can't I just shoot some bad guys and look at some cool graphics and maybe for two seconds not feel so bad about spending $400 on a game system that has no games?

I can't believe you injected race somehow into this. I didn't even notice. That you did I think says something about you. How many black guys are appropriate? Tell me. Maybe you can set up a committee that determines the proportion of women to men that need to be in each game. Then once you've achieved your fantasy ideal mix of race and sex, you can then go on to complain that the game doesn't focus on game-play.

Yahtzee, I think in some ways you yourself sold out on this video. You bought a COD game and now you are complaining that it's a COD game. What did you expect?

So because we were all expecting a bad game means we should forgive it for being a bad game? Cogent argument, my good sir, complemented brilliantly by pointing out that Yahtzee created the lack of racial diversity by directing your attention to its existence. And the way you proudly proclaimed you wished for mindless next gen bliss? Quite inspiring. Really, never have I seen such an intelligent and insightful comment on these forums.

 

[ninjarafter]

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that no one posted a link to the Monty Python sketch Yahtzee referred to in his review.

Tried to play it. Got a 33 second ad for a 45 second video and I closed the shit out of that window.


As for the review, I thought it was pretty funny in the first half, then I saw the implication that including a German Shepard was part of a racist agenda and the stupidity knocked me out for the remaining duration of the video.

So, I guess I'm giving this five minute video a 5/10, since the first 2.5 minutes were funny(and thus they get a full score) and I never saw the other 2.5.

 

[_Russell_]

But if COD really wanna score points with me I wanna see the US invaded by te Clangers.

Look a them... what are they planning up there?

HA!

That's easiest the funnest thing I've seen on the Escapist.

 

[Westonbirt]

Everytime I hear the story of one of these Spunkgargleweewee games, I see this scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oEA6zK_8u8