Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 - It Sucks, Ha.

Yahtzee Croshaw

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Aug 8, 2007
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Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 - It Sucks, Ha.

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2.

Watch Video
 
Aug 1, 2010
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I dig the new little title bit. Good to get the whole opinion out in the open nice and quick like!

I'm still hoping for a Dracula dating simulator where you have to seduce people or die of starvation.
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
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The new titles seem to just remove the surprise of the review, but if they can make a good joke in time I'll probably warm to them.

Eh, this never really peaked my interest and the review doesn't make it sound any better.
 

Malbourne

Ari!
Sep 4, 2013
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It's always difficult to be enthusiastic about new environments when they only consist of construction sites, sewers, and factories. Those places can be done well, but not often. With a series like Castlevania, there was definitely an opportunity to set a spin on the real world with gratuitous Dracula mythos. Then again, maybe it would just end up a little too similar to Devil May Cry. The only way to win is to actually play as Dracula, I guess!
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

Henchgoat Emperor
May 15, 2010
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Great bit, and for some reason Dracula in ZP looks more like Dave Grohl (especially with the sunglasses and guitar) than Robert Carlyle... But still I am going to pick it up anyway because I need some sort of closure and I've heard good things from friends. Friends who will be visited by henchgoats if they've lied to me.
Beware confetti.
 
Jan 12, 2012
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Evonisia said:
The new titles seem to just remove the surprise of the review, but if they can make a good joke in time I'll probably warm to them.
Was there ever much surprise in a ZP review? You pretty much know he's going to rip apart whatever game is put in front of him with a chainsaw made of snark, occasionally saying that he enjoyed X despite its flaws. Not a big twist ending.
 

Grach

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Aug 31, 2012
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Thunderous Cacophony said:
Evonisia said:
The new titles seem to just remove the surprise of the review, but if they can make a good joke in time I'll probably warm to them.
Was there ever much surprise in a ZP review? You pretty much know he's going to rip apart whatever game is put in front of him with a chainsaw made of snark, occasionally saying that he enjoyed X despite its flaws. Not a big twist ending.
Besides, I wouldn't hold much hope for these games anyway.
 

Frontastic

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Aug 3, 2010
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Did Yahtzee just make a 'Hello to Jason Issacs' joke?? Yatzee is a fellow Wittertainee?? This was not expected. And yet it makes so much sense...
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,258
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Thunderous Cacophony said:
Evonisia said:
The new titles seem to just remove the surprise of the review, but if they can make a good joke in time I'll probably warm to them.
Was there ever much surprise in a ZP review? You pretty much know he's going to rip apart whatever game is put in front of him with a chainsaw made of snark, occasionally saying that he enjoyed X despite its flaws. Not a big twist ending.
Well I wasn't thinking it would much a surprise in this case seeing as he hated the first one. Maybe from 2007 through 2010 that would be the case but I don't expect him to tear into every game he encounters.

Did he rip apart Spec Ops: The Line and then say "Oh, I liked it", or Crysis 2, Papers, Please, Saints Row IV, Luigi's Mansion 2?
 

marioandsonic

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Nov 28, 2009
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Can't say I'm a huge fan of the new video titles. Kinda gives away the ending. Still enjoyed the video though.

Have to admit, I haven't played a Castlevania game since Castlevania IV on the SNES, and I have no desire to play this one.
 

mjharper

Can
Apr 28, 2013
172
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'Can we go back to when vampires weren't sexy please.'

While I completely understand where you're coming from, but given that the sexy vampire phenomenon goes back at least as far as Bela Lugosi, I think it might be difficult to achieve :)
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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Imperioratorex Caprae said:
Great bit, and for some reason Dracula in ZP looks more like Dave Grohl (especially with the sunglasses and guitar) than Robert Carlyle... But still I am going to pick it up anyway because I need some sort of closure and I've heard good things from friends. Friends who will be visited by henchgoats if they've lied to me.
Beware confetti.
Oh yeah, he does look like Dave Grohl in this video- waitaminute, those sunglasses. He got those from Kamina from Gurren Laggan! And I thought Yahtzee disliked anime.
 

orangeapples

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Aug 1, 2009
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Perhaps the minions of darkness aren't under Dracula's control or on Dracula's side at all. Perhaps he just doesn't clean out his castle much and he can't be bothered to clear them out after doing so for so many centuries.
 

Remus

Reprogrammed Spambot
Nov 24, 2012
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mjharper said:
'Can we go back to when vampires weren't sexy please.'

While I completely understand where you're coming from, but given that the sexy vampire phenomenon goes back at least as far as Bela Lugosi, I think it might be difficult to achieve :)
But....Steve Niles! Those are the vampires we need to see more of in popular media - the shark that walks like a man, or intelligent rage zombies. Hungry enough to tear through people like a bloodcrazed, starving lion, smart enough to cover its tracks afterward.
 

Thanatos2k

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Aug 12, 2013
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I liked the first game. It had just the right balance of stolen ideas from God of War, Zelda, and Shadow of the Colossus. Sort of like Darksiders which also had the right balance.

And just like Darksiders 2, from all accounts it seems like the dev team just starting stealing more things for game 2, things that don't work together at all.

I'll wait until it hits the bargain bin this time.
 

Mahoshonen

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Jul 28, 2008
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Can we go back to when Vampires weren't sexy?
Yahtzee, Vampires have always been sexy, or a least since Bram Stroker got his hands on them.

I mean look at this suave blood-sucker: