Zero Punctuation: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

[beema]

I've heard nothing but bad things about this game, even from people who were REALLY looking forward to it.
Also I played the demo and it made my want to stab my eyes out (although my ears loved Patrick Stewart, but even his godly voice couldn't polish this turd).

 

[ishist]

That was funny, Now I'm waiting for the New Vegas and Fable 3...both of which I liked. Castlevania fell off my radar about the same time I stopped browsing the SNES section at the game store.

 

[JoeCoolMaverick]

Besides the Portal thing, here what I would tell people:

"The game was developed by the same company that made "Clive Barker's Jericho". That's all you need to know".

Dear God, the two 3D Castlevania games for the Playstation 2 (Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness) and Harmony of Despair for XBLA were better crafted than this train wreck. At least those three, despite their faults (and there are many of them, believe me), didn't have me banging my head against the wall. I only played the demo before the review, and it left me feeling uneasy.

And finally, switching discs to go back to previous areas? Really? What the hell is that!?

 

[LazyAza]

Never played a Castlevania game myself and this was the one time I was actually interested but of course we end up with another shitty gow clone. Come to think of it I don't think anyone has made a god of war style of game yet that wasn't shit. Ah well maybe some day some company will figure out how to not fail at doing so.

 

[EqualNOpposite]

That bit at the end is possibly THE most horrifyingly funny image Yahtzee has ever constructed. Kudos, Croshaw!

 

[KzoR]

The end made me laugh for hours! LOL

 

[Caradinist]

Guys, the game is a prequel. Even the prequel that was released before this one (Lament of Innocence) didn't have Dracula as a boss.

The game does have it's problems, what with the Camera Angles, and the game pulling tricks on you at the beginning so you might miss a few jumps thanks to said camera angles. In the end, you get used to this (about four chapters in) and this is no longer a problem. To me this game is worth at the very least a rental.

Honestly, there's no need for blindingly following Yahtzee just because this game has two Portal references (yes, i groaned at it too, I suppose i ought to have shut off World of Warcraft years ago just because a couple of goblin NPCs referenced Rocket Man).

 

[atomicmrpelly]

The ending was particular vulgar this week, slightly unnecessary I felt!

 

[Smooth Operator]

This doesn't feel like a Castlevania game because it was intended as a different game (Lords of Shadow), but then Konami as the publisher brought out it's "names that make more money" stamps and picked Castlevania, and told the developers they need to get Dracula in there.
So if you do play it, keep in mind it's actually a different game, then you wont be as annoyed by all the missing pieces.

But even as it's own game, it doesn't really stack up, there are better GoW like games out there, so check them out first, unless you are really into the MGS storytelling then get this game.
Not my cup of tea tho.

 

[Kimarous]

I dunno... "Teerts Emases Morf Tnouc Eth" sounds pretty cool to my ears. If you spell it along the lines of "Tyrtsemasesmorph Tnouc'eth", it almost sounds like some Lovecraftian abomination.

 

[bluekangaroo]

Everyone except idiots and noobs get it, games are just copying big hits, you could probably find thousands of god of war clones. Why not base reviews on gameplay?

 

[Andy of Comix Inc]

Left 4 Dead 2 has a Portal reference and that game's awesome.

A song from Portal is not a reference, it's just a... song from Portal. Not trying to be funny, just throwing in a song. Like they use a song from Half-Life during the Valve logo, I guess that's a Half-Life reference, oooh!

No. No, a Portal reference is using "cake is a lie" and expecting a laugh. It wasn't even particularly guffaw-worthy when Portal did it, it was just a quirky off-beat section that was kinda designed to mess with your head a bit. So any other game thinking a "cake is a lie" reference will provide the player with anything other than complete distaste for their lack of humour or subtlety, and one more name added to the Kill List.

 

[MasterV]

Very funny vid Yahtzee, well done. I laughed my ass off almost the entire time!

My main gripe with Castlevania games in recent times (i.e. Symphony of the Night and beyond) is the Kojima syndrome. Meaning that the story gets more and more convoluted without needing to be. Many times (both in GBA/DS an in the shitty PS2 games) I was left with my wtf face when I read the story.

This one upped the ante with having Kojima himself making it more of a convoluted mess. That they needed to make a reboot says that pretty much they were f*cking it pretty badly and from what I've seen LoS doesn't seem to be rectifying matters. Only making them worse.

Why they couldn't keep the story simple (go to castle, kill Drac) and make the journey memorable instead of making these crappy stories up?

 

[Volkamar]

I actually have to disagree... with almost all of it actually. But then again, that's easy to do, since Yahtzee is more of an entertainer than a game reviewer (if people actually follow his "reviews" to the bone then their gaming collection would consist of Portal and Portal 2 once it's released).

Sure, a lot of people could say it's a lot like God of War, but... (no pun intended) it has evolved somewhat from that by offering a more intricate combat system. Rather than just mindlessly spamming AoE attacks like you do in the God of War Games, this game rewards feats of defense (Parries, Dodging etc) and pulling off monsterous Combos (Kind of like Bayonetta thinking about it). Also having Shadow of the Colossus style fights shouldn't really be bashed around like Mel Gibson's dignity, as it adds to the gameplay, rather than becomes it. Just to help keep that variety.

Sure there are problems with the game, the Camera for one, but there's no problems within the game that scream out to me "This will make your experience sucky". I really enjoyed almost everything the game had to offer, the Voice Acting, the Combat and for finally having a 3d Castlevania that I can call great.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Did you break your headset again?

Also this would be the first legitimate time one can say "the cake is a lie".

 

[BlueInkAlchemist]

Left 4 Dead 2 has a Portal reference and that game's awesome.

As does Dragon Age: Origins.

OT: I'm glad I'm not the only one who prefers a game like Symphony of the Night to some 3D knock-off trying too hard to be other games.

 

[uguito-93]

I still dont get why he always brings up super paper mario and metroid prime 3 when mentioning light/dark systems. the phazon system in prime 3 was used as a risky and temporary offensive boost and super paper mario's system merely involved the changes from 2d to 3d levels.

 

[Turbo_ski]

I still dont get why he always brings up super paper mario and metroid prime 3 when mentioning light/dark systems. the phazon system in prime 3 was used as a risky and temporary offensive boost and super paper mario's system merely involved the changes from 2d to 3d levels.

I'm sure he ment Metroid Prime 2, but knowing Yahtzee he probably never played those games and just is going on hearsay.

 

[Turbo_ski]

Besides the Portal thing, here what I would tell people:

The portal thing is retard to mention as a negative or positive on any scale. It's equivalent of saying Portal failed because it had a radio at the beginning and this is supposed to be the future. It's something so incredibly minor and irrelevant most people will not even see such things while playing through it. To even see the portal reference, you have to find the corpse that has the scroll and then open up your menu, find the journal log and read the optional journal entry of a soldier going insane and it's mention as his last sentence. There is also a reference in the same fashion to Deku trees in separate entry, again optional reading that can easily be missed.

"The game was developed by the same company that made "Clive Barker's Jericho". That's all you need to know".

jericho suffered from awful directing and writing, visually it was impressive. Mercurystream was the sole developer and did a good job with the mess of a material they were given. LoS is co-developed by both Mercurystream and Kojima Productions, had multiple writers and more funding and a different director. There is a also the difference in publisher, as Konami is more than willing to throw money at Hideo but Codemasters ends up being far more conservative and has a robust history of bad games they've churned out.

Dear God, the two 3D Castlevania games for the Playstation 2 (Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness) and Harmony of Despair for XBLA were better crafted than this train wreck. At least those three, despite their faults (and there are many of them, believe me), didn't have me banging my head against the wall. I only played the demo before the review, and it left me feeling uneasy.

Sorry but having played LoI and CoD, this game is leagues better than those two games. If you actually played the game and not the demo which is essentially the basic combat tutorial before it introduces the shadow and light magic and focus bar which make up the core combat mechanics. Also you gain XP from killing foes and solving puzzles to unlock new more powerful moves including all your aerial combos.

And finally, switching discs to go back to previous areas? Really? What the hell is that!?

PS3 version is a single blu-ray disc, chalk it up to Xbox fail on that one.

 

[Mykayel1]

The game is basically a hybrid of Shadow Of The Colossus, Super Castlevania 4, a bit of Devil May Cry (the combo buying part) and Prince Of Persia (the platforming IS taken straight out of the Sand of Time trilogy)...so I guess it is like God Of War since that's basically what God Of war is. But calling it a God Of War knock off is like calling God Of War 3 a Dante's Inferno knock off because D's I came before GOW3 on the PS3. And as for mounting monsters....it's just a coincidence that both GOW and LOS did it. If you insist that one must of copied off the other (I don't believe that is the case though) you got it backwards, the fact that you can mount enemies was announced for LOS long before it was for GOW3 and I doubt Mercury Steam had inside information on the fact that Santa Monica Studios where doing this (seriously, look it up). Besides, they control completely different.

EDIT: I also noticed a lot of people think this wasn't meant to be a Castlevania game...it was. The original Lords Of Shadow trailer was shown to Konami as a 'prototype' of what Mercury Steam wanted to do with the franchise, but they didn't know if Konami would like it so they just called it LoS until Konami responded giving them permission to make it.