NOTE: I should mention you shouldn't read this if you haven't finished Dante's Inferno or if you wish to.
surely I'm going to get flamed out of the escapist for this, but to hell(oh-hoh!) with it. I thought this weeks ZP was bloody terrible. why? reasons below.
1:nitpicking
Dearest yahtzee has this form of grasping at straws down to a fine art. To complain that one slash is too like another slash is akin to saying one car is too like another car because it drives. likewise, whining about how one game is too like another is the same blasted setup but on a bigger scale. while yes, it is a mortal sin in the gaming world for a game to be a clone of another, if you're going to compare game 1 of genre a to game 2 of genre a where game 2 is the generic staple of that genre, then I'm going to have to award you the "detective dipshit" achievement, it comes with a badge and gun, only the badge is cock shaped and the gun fires dick jokes.
For a good while this has never really bothered me with his videos, every now and then he would make the same mistake "like halo but" but this time it really got stuck in my craw, why? because I appreciated it for almost everything he complained about. Which brings me onto my second reason.
2:so what? are games still art or did I miss a meeting?
Dante's inferno has a very (I shudder to say this word, but it's true) compelling storyline, or at least it did to me, anyway, to quote the man himself from his silent hill 2 review "we're here to get our story on."
and that's exactly what I did, I got my story on, like. crazy. maybe its just my natural interest towards roman catholic mythological damnation playing at me again, but I loved the story, A slowly grinding tale depicting one mans suffering over what appears to be an unfair act upon his beloved, only to find out that it loops back on itself and he, through the chain events started by his original sins is solely responsible, and his journey is his penance, his character develops from the soul scarred warrior and through the inevitable realisation that he must forsake himself to save his love, sacrifice himself and finally absolve himself of his last sin, but he is not perfect, he doubts himself, and he doubts reality. I thought it was a great game not because of the gameplay, but because I related so well to the protagonist. I remember at the entrance to one of the circles he turns to his guide, vergil and asks "vergil, am I undone?" and I thought "that's funny, because if I was in that situation that's exactly what I would have said to my spirit guide" only my spirit guide would be dogbert.
he had a delightful sense of humanity about him which I have NEVER seen in any game before. It's not fresh, infact its entirely classic as far as plot goes but I like that. I'm so bored of the constant stream of terrible attempts at something new, If something works then why not expand on the idea? God of war worked, why not expand on the idea and give the fucker some depth.
3.It's called strategy, croshaw, strah-teh-ghee!
I hit many many MANY snags in Dante's Inferno, but the most prominent thing I noticed was that in almost every one I had to employ a strategy. He complained about the stupid amounts of health that the enemies have, and the first thing that came to mind was "because your not using the right attack" I got RUINED fighting alieghiero(dante's dad) trying to use the cross, and light scythe attacks and I got raped using magic. in the end I beat him in around 2 and half minutes using a combination of the heavy attack, the cross when in the air and the magic frost thingy whenever he got cheeky and decided to use one of the rarer moves. theres a different strategy for almost every boss (spoiler: with the last boss you gotta use a certain pattern of dodges in a certain direction, very fucking challenging)
To be honest, I loved yahtzee up until about half a year ago. recently his act has been getting staler as the quality of games have been on the rise(and yes, they have been on the rise) he's been grasping more and more at the straws of nitpicking and it's starting to show, This was the most depressing review hes done yet, because it made all of his faults stick out, and the blind humor was just a cheap attempt at covering up the growing pretention.
Adam We, OUT.
