Zero Punctuation: Darksiders

[Sonicron]

"I AM A MONSTER TRUCK THAT WALKS LIKE A MAN!"

Wow, we've already got a contender for quote of the year.

I second this.

That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed Darksiders. Yes, it's a patchwork blanket of shamelessly ripped-off gameplay concepts, but seeing how I enjoyed all the games this stuff was ripped from I really can't complain about it - that's why I'm probably going to enjoy Dante's Inferno, too.

Also, considering how much Yahtzee hates today's blandly colored games, I'd hoped he'd mention the fact that Darksiders actually employs a full pallette of colors, which is especially astounding considering that it takes place 100 years after a cataclysmic event that wiped out the human race.

 

[headcrabgordan]

At least it's a decent idea, I can name 3 worse ones off the bat:
A video game based off the second part (apparently everyone forgets the first and the third) of dante's epic
A plan 9 from outer space game
And another halo game

P.S. will you ever review the penumbra games?

 

[Fwee]

BTW why is every game in this style called a "God of War ripoff"?
What about Devil May Cry? Or Ninja Gaiden?
Personally, I think God of War gets WAY too much credit. Plus Kratos looks like a bit like a firedancer in the hard-gay section of Burning Man.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

To be honest, I thought Darksiders was a PS3 only game. Now I know it's on 360, I'm skeptical. Thanks Yahtzee.

Why does that make a difference?

Basically, I was kinda wanting it, and when a friend got it on PS3, he had no end of complaints. Now, another review that was negative, I am left not sure if I want the 360 version (I have no PS3).

Thank fuck for LoveFilm rentals.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Why is the always at least one person who gets themself suspended by posting a comment as soon as the video is posted every week?

Anyway, good show Yahtzee. So in other words this game what you'd get if you threw The Legend of Zelda, God of War, and Portal into a blender and hit 'massacre.'

 

[Sneaklemming]

"I am a monster truck, that walks like a man."

Epic.

 

[PhiMed]

Agreed. Incredibly derivative, but I thought it was pretty fun. Tides me over until the real thing comes around.

 

[Mullahgrrl]

Anyone else that thinks darksiders sounds like a sitcom?

Like Honeymooners.

 

[Jory]

Hilarious. One of the best I'd say.

"Gillie suits made out of dinnerware"

 

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

What's the point of playing as one of the horsemen, if there is no apocalypse?
I saw some videos, and doesn't seems that spectacular, but it's not that uncommon to find game like this lately, which is the sad part of all this.

 

[Stormshadow243]

Funny review, but I have the game and I've frankly enjoyed it from start to finish. For me, originality is always good, but if you can have an amalgam of other things and make them work together, that's just as fun.

2 small things though:
1) War's personality: He's fucking War, what else would his personality be? I can't imagine any of the Horsemen being all that deep. They're there to be awesome. Let them do that.
2) Also, Yahtzee talking about anything artistic is pretty funny considering he's got the aesthetic sense of a giraffe.

One more thing: Yahtzee clearly never bought the scythe because if he did, he would have known that you CAN indeed mix the sword and scythe together in combos.

 

[metalcore42]

I have figured out which of Yahtzees critiques I like best:
The ones where he rips on games for ripping off other games.

Awesome as always!

 

[headcrabgordan]

Oh come on, you're really going to group Majora's Mask with all the other Zelda games? I'll grant you that most Zelda games follow an identical formula, but MM is unlike anything I've ever played. Seriously.

Anyway, great review, as always.

majora's mask is the other half of ocarina of time, it focuses on stronger characters and more interactive environments. I would say that majora's mask is an underrated classic of the N64.

 

[Woodsey]

To be honest, I thought Darksiders was a PS3 only game. Now I know it's on 360, I'm skeptical. Thanks Yahtzee.

Why does that make a difference?

Basically, I was kinda wanting it, and when a friend got it on PS3, he had no end of complaints. Now, another review that was negative, I am left not sure if I want the 360 version (I have no PS3).

Thank fuck for LoveFilm rentals.

Ahhh I see.

I remember seeing a trailer for it, not having a clue what style of game it was and thinking "OH MY F*CKING GOD!!". Then recently, I saw the game being played.

CGI is so misleading.

I thought the game had been getting pretty good reviews though?

 

[OGRC]

one of my faves for sure

 

[DeadAccountMoveAlong]

It is strange how all of them are coming out at the same time. I only have a 360, so I'm waiting for all to be released before I make a decision over which to buy. But by then ME2 will be out, and the Escapist won't hear from me for a month.

Why the bloody hell would that banned fellow say "Yahtzee has done it again?" Was there some doubt as to whether or not he would meet his contractual obligations to release the weekly show he has never failed to miss over the past few years? At this point it's like saying "Yahtzee has an accent."

 

[Erana]

I think that was one of the best ZPs Yahtzee's done in months, if not longer.
I guess I prefer the more traditional review formula of, "Synopsis, notable features, overall impression," but he does it quite well.
There were fewer tangents than usual, but it made the few, particularly the "I am a monster truck who walks like a man" thing all the more memorable.
Still, this seems like he was particularly inspired, or feeling quite on the ball at the time of making this review; sometimes one does just do something better than they usually do.

 

[ultimasupersaiyan]

I liked Darksiders. It's DMC and LOZ blended with an apocolypse. Darksiders always gets compared to God Of War but only the finishers are like God Of War and nothing else since the blue souls are currency like the red orbs of DMC. The game definately seems to copy, paste alot of things from popular games but it's done very well.

 

[Hussmann54]

oho man! Havent had a good laugh like that in a while.

I never intended to buy the game (and by "Buy" I mean "Buy, rent or play") anyways. I heard that it had some christian theology tid bits and that made me skeptical. Most people who try to incorporate christian theology into popular media (Movies it was Legion, Darksiders represents video game industry) usually fail miserably. This isnt a bash against Christianity, just that some people wind up misconstruing everything about it. (again..... Legion people............)

My prediction is that Dantes Inferno is going to be a terrible attempt at an old literary work and fan boys will say its gonna be amazing and try to justify it by its combat, but they really only wanna see some boob-age (and some of them, penis...... age)

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

Everything he said in this review is true. And I agree with it. ALL. The worst thing?

I still love the game and will continue to do so until I've cleaved enough meat from demon bones in order to feed the five thousand!

Wow, I'm rather impressed with that line. Go me!