You mean all the people chiming in fully agreeing to prove "they ain't a part of the SYSTEM!!!!"WDK89 said:
Zero Punctuation: Diablo 3
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
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First of all it baffles me that some people don't seem to understand, that Yahtzee is a video game reviewer in the same way that the Nostalgia Critic is a movie reviwer. His reviews are not (mainly) meant to help you decide which games to buy, but for comedy
So you can't except an indepth review like you get on IGN. That is not what this is.
@Diablo3
Always online? Well screw that.
Blizzard, if you are worried, that people might cheat and thus kill the auction house, well you did a bang up job. Countless people got their shit stolen. You really protected your economy there.
But even if that had worked. What kept you from making an offline single player mode, that can't tranfare items into the online game? Right, nothing except greed. You figured if everybody had to be online anyway, they would stumble over the real money auction house eventually and line your pockets.
Well I don't want to play online. I have to deal with stupid people on a regular basis in my real life. My free time I would like to spend alone or with friends, thank you very much.
I should not have to suffer through lag, server outages, etc. just because you are greedy. I already payed 50? for a half assed game. That should be more than enough.
There are a lot of other games out there, that offer way more for that kind of money and where the makers don't try to bleed me slowly with microtransactions.
So you can't except an indepth review like you get on IGN. That is not what this is.
@Diablo3
Always online? Well screw that.
Blizzard, if you are worried, that people might cheat and thus kill the auction house, well you did a bang up job. Countless people got their shit stolen. You really protected your economy there.
But even if that had worked. What kept you from making an offline single player mode, that can't tranfare items into the online game? Right, nothing except greed. You figured if everybody had to be online anyway, they would stumble over the real money auction house eventually and line your pockets.
Well I don't want to play online. I have to deal with stupid people on a regular basis in my real life. My free time I would like to spend alone or with friends, thank you very much.
I should not have to suffer through lag, server outages, etc. just because you are greedy. I already payed 50? for a half assed game. That should be more than enough.
There are a lot of other games out there, that offer way more for that kind of money and where the makers don't try to bleed me slowly with microtransactions.
![[REDACTED]](https://eg-forums-escapist-data-bucket.fra1.digitaloceanspaces.com/data/avatars/l/129/129871.jpg?1621054700){kind=avatar}
That was relevant. And you do realize that if he did review it he'd almost certainly tear it to pieces, right?Chew Kok said:
Pretty much. I especially love the reviews of Nintendo games where he and his fans preemptively strike at all of the invisible drooling Nintendo fans only they can see.Undeadpool said:
GRAMMAR NAZI PROTOCOL INITIATED.Yahtzee Croshaw said:
Good work on the review, Yahtzee. Reading through the 'Lore' of Diablo, it's a good but weird storyline.
Will there be a Diablo 4 or are Blizzard going to go all out for Warcraft 3?
CAPTCHA: brand spanking new. Well, this is an insult! I have been here for a good while!
how do you people SURVIVE on the internet?Rheinmetall said:I was eating something at that time and suddenly I saw the tarantula. I said okay, don't pay any attention, he uses this photo of the spider in his videos from times to times. But he was showing that thing for two whole minutes.. Mercy!Fiz_The_Toaster said:Painful for you to watch too?Rheinmetall said:
The minute he said he was playing as a witch doctor I silently pleaded for him not to go overboard, but I was wrong, oh so wrong.
I mean, trauma and all that cool shit is really something. I have my own fair share, thanks.
But I will never complain about them being shown or talked about or misjudged in media, because frankly, whatever was shown here is neither tangentially related to me OR reality. (doesn't stop me from raging about everything anyways, though : D )
it's just a fucking picture. also: face your fears, running away makes them MUCH worse, etc.
(I was insanely afraid of spiders as well, for years, before I got tired of killing/letting someone kill them over and over, and have some more respect now. Living in a basement is good therapy, especially if spiders hang on the ceiling above your head when you try to sleep)
Also well...another good ZP episode, I guess. XD
EDIT: also people can NEVER respect all phobias, no matter what. There's things like xylophobia, fear of wooden things/trees. "so yeah, let's build everything from metal in here then, because we want to respect people". Well damn, there's a phobia for that as well.
(cheap but good example)
Actually the point of the procedurally generated terrain is to make it different for each playthrough, like playing a "new game". Considering Diablo is a series about playing through many many times, having random layouts is a good thing.0over0 said:
However, to stay on topic, Diablo 3 decided to throw most of that out the window, along with many of the other features from the Diablo franchise (like quality and addictiveness) and instead Blizzard released this tripe. It's too bad, but in a way it's also good. It means that I won't be spending another 12 years playing one game...
Forgot to check Escapist for few days, so meh.CaptainMarvelous said:
First, thanks for incorrectly marking me as a fanboy because I like Diablo series. I don't like Blizzard that much. Never played Starcraft, didn't like WoW and I hate what it did to many players who play games and expect instant gratification for no effort.
Second - Zelda games aren't connected as sequels, moron. They are "alternative realities" or "timelines". They don't have a plot connected in some specific, rigid order.
Consider playing oh, I don't know, Mass Effect 3 without playing any other game series. Or ME 2, since EA kind of made ME3 so it appealed more to new people than long-time fans.
"What the hell, who's this Shepard guy, what are Reapers, what are we talking about, who are those blue aliens, why is that guy limping, what is going on?!"
"You need to play the first game to fully understand..."
"FAAANBOOOOOYYYYY"
Also, why aren't you banned for insulting me? I thought mods were more trigger-happy around here.
Not one account with authenticator, which is free, was compromised. Only accounts who were keylogged and unprotected were "hacked".Slowking said:
I AM UNEDUCATED AND I THINK EVERYTHING IS OUT TO GET ME!!!
There are files server-side that are not client-side for protection against duping, cheats and hacks. Client has only ability to read them once connected to server. You can't get those files and use them to make a hack without hacking the server itself, which is a LOT of effort and risk compared to potential gains.
Microtransactions are optional and only among gamers. Game is not half-assed only because it requires you to play online to protect everyone from unfair advantages of cheaters.
Luckily, they don't need you or your money. Kind of sad that biased and uninformed reviews are ruining image of a great game.
So Yahtzee do you get paid to not finish and not properly review games now?
Are you simply just a comedian?
It takes less than 20 hours to complete Diablo III on Normal mode, and you seriously didn't complete it? I get Skyrim and Final Fantasy, but really?
Also, it doesn't really make sense to critique a game on things simply because you didn't explore the options and key binding menus.
This was a very poor review, I don't care if you hated Diablo, but honestly you should really have beaten this one man...it wasn't very long.
Are you simply just a comedian?
It takes less than 20 hours to complete Diablo III on Normal mode, and you seriously didn't complete it? I get Skyrim and Final Fantasy, but really?
Also, it doesn't really make sense to critique a game on things simply because you didn't explore the options and key binding menus.
This was a very poor review, I don't care if you hated Diablo, but honestly you should really have beaten this one man...it wasn't very long.
Which "great" game were you referring to? Diablo 3? The game that relied on the coat tales of its predecessors to make its ginormous sales and the one that has destroyed everything about the previous games for the "hope" that Blizzard will milk you for more money?Abedeus said:
Kind of sad that the bias is strong in reviewers and fanboys alike. Yahtzee seemed informed to me, but was definitely a lot "nicer" on the game than I would have been, considering its quality level (the lack thereof I am referring to). The online direction is not to prevent "cheaters" despite what you wish to think (as evidenced by the proliferation of cheaters already existing...). It's to make it more likely that you will put yourself into their auction house and give Blizzard a little more money.
There is nothing redeeming about the current iteration of the series. The "soul" of Diablo left with the developers of Blizzard North and what is left is but a gaping husk with the same name and the impetus of making Blizzard money rather than making a great game and have people give you money for it.
It's just to bad they pulled an Activision and drove the quality of a once great series into the dirt. (See Guitar Hero for another example of this).
I have never been more disappointed in a game than with the release of Diablo 3.
Sorry, what? Insulting you? By saying your argument is biased on your liking of Diablo? Well blow me down, I am terribly sorry please forgive my heinous disregard for your genteel feelings. Wheras you calling me a moron because you didn't follow my example is just A-OK?Abedeus said:
Well let's tread gently to avoid hurting your feelings some more.
Let's start with the Zelda and, helpfully, use your hilarious Mass Effect conversation as a base
"Who the hell is Ganon/The Butcher? What's the Triforce/Black Soulstone"
"You need to play the previous games to understand"
"Really? Seems to explain it fairly well in game"
"Well, yes. I guess it does. Hmm."
Of course, I could only be referring to the plot when I compared the two of them, Zelda doesn't have a running timeline or anything (HINT: I can't be bothered to find it now, but there is one, and you know how important it is to understanding each game? It isn't important in the slightest)
Now let's carry on and examine the Mass Effect example AGAIN to properly illustrate how you seemed to not understand what point I was trying to make
"What the hell, who's this Shepard guy, what are Reapers, what are we talking about, who are those blue aliens, why is that guy limping, what is going on?!"
"You need to play the first game to fully understand..." (ALTERNATIVE: Read the handy codex included in the game.. wow, this example really was poorly selected)
"Hey, I'm not sure I like the shooting mechanic-"
"YOU DIDN'T PLAY THE FIRST ONE YOU DON'T GET AN OPINION!"
Now, this is probably where our thoughts diverge, YOU appeared to in your post express the view you can't review a game without playing the preceeding ones. I believe it is possible to review a game without playing the preceeding one on the basis of it's a game.
Also while we're going with the Mass Effect 2 example, everyone who played it on the PS3 didn't get to play ME1.
Hope that didn't insult you too bad.
There's something else I'm disappointed with. A distinct lack of fanboy rage. I was hoping several D3 kiddies would come charging valiantly to rescue the most precious game they've been waiting years for and all of its vaunted improvements that put all other games to shame. This has happened for other games, but this thread seems quite vacant of the one thing I was really (and guiltily) hoping to see.
It probably has its improvements, but they also lost quite a bit of cred where they could have easily gained it.
It probably has its improvements, but they also lost quite a bit of cred where they could have easily gained it.
Pro tip: normal difficulty is a quarter of the game.
Don't get me wrong, loot stays a big thing and the game doesn't really get challenging until hell difficulty, but the nuance and skill in the combat is almost entirely relegated to the later difficulties, in the same way that CoD on recruit is an absolute joke. Also, time isn't really an excuse given that normal difficulty takes 8 hours to complete and you regularly review games that take 12-14 hours. A couple of acts on nightmare would've at least have fixed some of your less genre-focussed criticisms.
Don't get me wrong, loot stays a big thing and the game doesn't really get challenging until hell difficulty, but the nuance and skill in the combat is almost entirely relegated to the later difficulties, in the same way that CoD on recruit is an absolute joke. Also, time isn't really an excuse given that normal difficulty takes 8 hours to complete and you regularly review games that take 12-14 hours. A couple of acts on nightmare would've at least have fixed some of your less genre-focussed criticisms.
A look at the gold auction house will tell you that aint gunna happen. So much crap on there, and while someone could, in theory, find an item worth buying, by the time you have scrolled through all the crap (filters on), you could have found your own pair of magic pants (+1-2 fire damage, .00000003% chance to stun an enemy) by simply playing the farming simulator yourself.
It wouldn't be the first time, although at least he mentioned it this time around. I don't much care for the review, it doesn't seem to hit on a lot of decent problems with the game. Glad someone is getting paid to say things about popular games.
Honestly, always found dungeon crawlers to be an acquired taste.
Despite what people may think about Diablo 3 it's basic gameplay is still very much like Diablo 2's and other dungeon crawlers: Pick a class, run around slaughtering thousands of the same generic monsters for several hundreds of hours hoping to find "phat lewtz".
That's it. There's nothing truly complex about these games, honestly. I enjoy them because that's all I expect from them: wanton slaughter. If you're expecting anything deep from a dungeon crawler than you should probably look elsewhere.
Despite what people may think about Diablo 3 it's basic gameplay is still very much like Diablo 2's and other dungeon crawlers: Pick a class, run around slaughtering thousands of the same generic monsters for several hundreds of hours hoping to find "phat lewtz".
That's it. There's nothing truly complex about these games, honestly. I enjoy them because that's all I expect from them: wanton slaughter. If you're expecting anything deep from a dungeon crawler than you should probably look elsewhere.