Zero Punctuation: Dragon Age II

[chainguns]

Let's take the good: there's precious little at fault with the story itself.

Except for the small point of it ending on a cliffhanger because they wanted to microtransact you into paying more to find out what 'really' happened. And that the story is 99% the same no matter what your Hawke does and dialog options s/he picks. And it's plain weird and OTT B-movie stuff. Give me Origins' cliches anytime over exploding chantries.

The combat is also mostly fun. We should NOT have to always compensate for a new wave of enemies in the middle of a fight, but it becomes a minor nuisance once we learn that it's to be expected.

No it's not just the waves. It's the spawning in mid air. It's the fact that the game tries to be an action game ... using a vestigial semi-turn based mechanic from Origins. Ends up being just a chaotic mess where you desperately flail around trying to use the combos, but can't see properly or time them properly. Using the AoE is just random luck because the enemies move stupidly fast and the targetting area UI is glitched (snaps into places it 'likes'). Boss battles take 25 minutes, so if you are on NM and need to reload 3 or 4 times it is a frustrating, mind numbing chore.

As it stands, DA2 is one of the best RPGS out there. But, on the strengths of his story alone, it could have SOARED. Sadly, bioware rushed it, released it in the same engine as Origins,

Sorry, but you must have played seriously different RPGs to me (or this is some level of sarcasm I do not grasp). This game is Sacred 2 -level bad. Rushing it was not the main problem. They gutted out 50% of typical RPG mechanics (which is a big deal, since last time I checked, BW made R-P-G's). They made an art style based on some anime cartoon with stupid exploding enemies and JRP combat moves. The plot and dialog is clearly aimed at young emo teens (in BW's insane bid to get the Call of Duty audience interested in orcs and sorcery). Basically BW lost the plot on almost every level. In no conceivable way is this just a question of bugs and recycled areas - the rot goes waaay deeper.

 

[X51]

Just for the record, the Escapist disagrees:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8701-Dragon-Age-II-Review

I'd also like to point out that Yahtzee is a cynical bastard (I still love him!), and if you go into any game looking for cut corners, that's all you're going to see. I get the gripe about the reused dungeons, but I'd bet my financial aid check that that was solely the result of a short development window. If the price for the awesome dialog and amazingly well-developed characters is a few repetitive dungeons, then I'll gladly pay it.

 

[Tontomanzz]

Just for the record, the Escapist disagrees:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8701-Dragon-Age-II-Review

I'd also like to point out that Yahtzee is a cynical bastard (I still love him!), and if you go into any game looking for cut corners, that's all you're going to see. I get the gripe about the reused dungeons, but I'd bet my financial aid check that that was solely the result of a short development window. If the price for the awesome dialog and amazingly well-developed characters is a few repetitive dungeons, then I'll gladly pay it.

Thing is, if I wanted just awesome dialog and well-developed characters (and I say just as there's nothing wrong with that, just if that's all there is), I could pay $5 and rent a movie...

For the case on rushing it out, seems to be the trend with time being focused on marketing and DLC. I knew there was some in DA2, but never how much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMcVZQI6ybw

It's a trend that I hope stops sooner than later. I didn't like hats (yes hats) taking over my TeamFortress2 and stopping new gameplay development.

 

[Wolfram23]

Not when your character is supposed to be " the Champion"
It kinda defeats the point don't you think if he doesn't do something incredible to make playing him worthwhile

Spoiler

He defeated in single hand duel the 7 foot tall leader of a very hostile tribe of religious zealots who seemed content in calling an army, annex the town and submit everyone to either the Qun or the blade. He Saved the town. Does that only count as incredible if he did it while riding in a fucking unicycle? Suppose then there'd be bitching about there not being unicycles in Thedas...

He stepped up, saved a city in a time of cryisis, and during a vaccuum of power. THAT justifies being called a champion. It's what heros do, in fact.

Spoiler: Nuh uh!

He refused to duel because he was a rogue and couldn't take a hit, so Hawke, Aveline, Merrill, and Anders, and Isabella kicked everyone's ass together. But Hawke is the only Champion

 

[Tontomanzz]

Here's a though after mentioning the DLC. If there was all that DLC already ready at the time of release.... how can they say they were short of time and had to cut and paste the dungeons??

Seems more like putting DLC and money ahead of the original content you already paid for in buying the game. That's a nasty trend.

 

[JohnnyDelRay]

Didn't have any problems with loading, even playing on my laptop. Yeah, preferred DA1, the dungeon recycling didn't bother me that much, and I don't even know why people are bitching about this when Oblivion had the same problem, only 100x worse. I did enjoy DA1 though, the characters were more involving and interesting, and the villains truly seemed like villains.

Even though a story based closer around a character and his personal happenings was a breath of fresh air from the usual "save the world from total utter tragedy" fare.

 

[samaugsch]

Not much of a story...

But I liked how the rogue actually did flips and shit. I can't recall another RPG that had rogues that actually felt nimble.

I thought I'd hate the new combat. It's actually the only reason I keep playing...

I always play a rouge its my favorite class, but the rogues were just to weak in this game. i had to play a warrior, and that was disappointing.

What about picking locks? Do they limit rogues to that in the 2nd game like they did in the first? Because that was the only reason I chose to go rogue.

yeah only rogues can pick locks, but you can keep a rogue in your party that well pick locks for you.

I know that, but in the first game, if I didn't go rogue (I like saying that ), I wouldn't be able to open some of the chests early in the game at all because I wouldn't be able to get one in my party at the moment. I always liked to make my party completely diverse ;D (a warrior, a rogue, a mage, and a war hound). What I wanted to know is if there's a moment in Dragon Age 2 where there is absolutely no way to pick a lock because you couldn't get a rogue in your party unless you started out as one.

 

[Painronamic]

Refer to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2TeX4wQ18g

 

[X51]

Just for the record, the Escapist disagrees:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8701-Dragon-Age-II-Review

I'd also like to point out that Yahtzee is a cynical bastard (I still love him!), and if you go into any game looking for cut corners, that's all you're going to see. I get the gripe about the reused dungeons, but I'd bet my financial aid check that that was solely the result of a short development window. If the price for the awesome dialog and amazingly well-developed characters is a few repetitive dungeons, then I'll gladly pay it.

Thing is, if I wanted just awesome dialog and well-developed characters (and I say just as there's nothing wrong with that, just if that's all there is), I could pay $5 and rent a movie...

For the case on rushing it out, seems to be the trend with time being focused on marketing and DLC. I knew there was some in DA2, but never how much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMcVZQI6ybw

It's a trend that I hope stops sooner than later. I didn't like hats (yes hats) taking over my TeamFortress2 and stopping new gameplay development.

It's not *just* the dialog and characters, but your interactions with them. It's getting to know Merrill, and being shocked by her innocence in the face of what you first discover about her. It's standing up for your sister when Fenris goes on an anti-mage rant. It's butting heads with religious zealots and conniving politicians. Or, you don't have to do any of it! You can reject Merrill as a monster. You can throw your sister under the bus and agree with Fenris. You can play toady to the religious leader and increase your own power and influence with which to stab them in the back later.

Regarding DLC, Dragon Age 2 isn't nearly as bad as other games. Most of the DLC are items, and they're mostly free (not counting some of your free time), and are hardly essential to the content of the game (you'll be replacing most of the items by level 12 or so anyway). It is admittedly lame that a full character is left out of the main game, but the same was true for DA:O.

 

[LulzOdin]

Dead on Yahtzee, as always!
But yeah I mean what were they expecting the feedback to be like when all the devs did was to showcase us an unfinished version of a sequel half-arsedly put together in a sh*t scenario.
I call Dragon Age II the "Vista of Dragon Age Series" because of this. ^^

 

[Vapus]

Kudos ! youve done it again , articulate much more eloquently that which I was feeling myself,, this game is a TURD !!!!

 

[Ekonk]

Hahaha, "Freud Freud".

 

[DoomBlackDragon]

Epic Review. See people. Even Yahtzee hated the game. This is the worse game in bioware history of games. It funny how BioWare seems to think if it not Mass Effect. Mass Effected it. It as if Dragon Age 2 caught some nasty Virus before it was even launched. Wonder if this means Star Wars old republic will be just as bad.
Would say Mass Effect 3 will most likly be bad but oh wait it already Mass Effected.

Still Mass Effect 2 was very much shit. Main Story plot. You got for repear killing bad ass to corpse and baby sister. To a rag tag team of Regects with a few worthy members. Only to find out 75% of your crew are not loyal until you stop their family problems.

 

[xdiesp]

Yahtzee you edited the sound too fast, it's barely understandable.

 

[PopcornAvenger]

Mages are peeples tooooo *sob-sob*

oh, DA2, you are so cr-ool and edgy!

 

[Sodoff]

Its funny how you can play the same game as someone else and have a completely different look on things.

The combat for one, I loved it and found it easy to aim at my enemies and control the camera.

Still great episode, although its diffucilt to laugh as much as usual when Im disagreing with your arguments.

 

[DolorousEdd]

It's a shame that this review is slightly muddled by Yatzeeh's highly subjective dislike for sequels. If you have a developer of epic, character-driven fantasy RPGs with a setting that took years of development and still can take more development, improvement and holds countless more stories of the same or better variety, it's just plain unrealistic to expect them to do only one game and even unfair to some of the people involved like the writers to say that they had no original interest in making their games.

That said, I still happen to be in the overly-critical camp about this game. Ah, and actually, I don't find this review overall so convincing and insightful.

 

[THGhost]

I had to sit through 4 adverts just to watch this fucking episode.

 

[Sherishade]

I liked the game personally and my only complaint was the occasional glitch and the copy/paste dungeon problem other then that I liked it a lot. Now maybe it was different for me because I can very easily put my self into the role of any race/gender/lifestyle/occupation, and that allows me to replay a game several times and continue to enjoy it.
I also feel the game was just as good as dragon age origins, I?ll admit I can find entertainment in a lot of games most people would scoff at and call drivel but I honestly don?t see how everyone feels the game is that bad. Finally the game felt plenty epic to me I mean the first time we actually deal with the Qunari on a large scale level and the ending, I mean I play a mage in all games a game sucks for me when the mage class isn?t done properly. It was a huge deal and epic for my mage and I was thoroughly happy with it and the game as a whole.
Oh and on the relationship thing I?m comfortable in my hetero-sexuality so it doesn?t phase me I?m not afraid of catching ?the gay? and Merrill is my sweet heart and was better then any of the romances in Origins.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

xD The blowjob at the end.