Zero Punctuation: Dragon's Dogma

garacius

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Thunderous Cacophony said:
Hang on, didn't he just write an Extra Punctuation about games allowing you to fuck up, and how that was a good, organic thing? Seems like Dragon's Dogma is just doing that in an RPG setting: You can go anywhere and challenge anything, but you might get your ass handed to you if you're not careful.

The review was really funny, just thought I'd mention that.

About mucking things up, I would attribute it too his rather frequent hypocritical humour.
Also, don't forget his amusement in the last lines about respecting a game that lets you take the reins, even if the first thing you do is drive it over a cliff.
 

MrBrightside919

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I never made the connection between PIMPING and PAWNS before this review...

"Swords are pointy"

...thanks, pawn
 
Jan 27, 2011
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This was a HILARIOUS review.

First, you have demon's souls attempting to fall onto your head like the evil prepare-to-die creature it is, and then...

"WAIT A MINUTE! AM I PIMPING?!". I almost fell off my chair laughing.

Well done, man. XD
 

CD-R

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Sperium 3000 said:
I'm surprised. I thought Yahtzee would rip this one a new one for not being pitch perfect, but he was surprisingly nice to it, all things considered.
Especially considering how similar it is to Monster Hunter a game he absolutely loathed.
 

Scars Unseen

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May 7, 2009
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It's particularly funny when you fight a golem and one of its weak points is right on his ass.

By the way, since we're on the topic of pimping, anyone(with the PS3 version) who wants to can send me a friend request so they can use my pawn for free. His name is Taslar and he's around level 50 at the moment. I've got him leveling his warrior vocation right now. My PS3 ID is Scars_Unseen.
 

Danzavare

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An absolutely hilarious video~! Easily one of my favourite Zero Punctuation videos~!

After this review I'm even more tempted to buy the pimping simulator Dragon's Dogma. I plan to play a mage if I do so hopefully there will be less grabbing and being suplexed for me.
 

Varil

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May 23, 2011
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Given that Dragon's Dogma is my current addiction, it's hard not to fanboy(v. : to be a bitchy fanboy) all at Yahtzee here for not singing praises and thoroughly fellating the game, but I'll restrain myself. All-in-all, this is practically a glowing recommendation of the game, given that Yahtzee's reviews are generally tactical missiles designed to reduce games to smoldering hate-ash.

Do wish he'd talked about the combat a little more, since that's pretty much the glowing, awesome part of the game, but I have to admit that most of his criticisms are pretty accurate. Pawns talk too much, and when climbing it's sometimes hard to tell where to go. I didn't really have his problem with figuring out where the main quest is. The sidequests are generally just the notice board stuff, and the occasional quest from random passer-bys, but the game practically throws the main plot at you.

It's true that it is kind of hard to judge which areas can and can't kill you if you're just randomly exploring, but I'd argue that that's not really a bad thing. I found a lot of the most entertaining moments of the game to be when I was very distinctly NOT in a safe zone. Getting lost in a super dangerous area while night falls while trying to escort a non-combatant is a hell of an adventure.

I...hadn't really connected pawns to pimping. I guess because my pawn was a big, brawny pack mule. Then again, some people are into that sort of thing.

Uh.

OH GOD. I need brain bleach. Excuse me.
 

Kargathia

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Thunderous Cacophony said:
Hang on, didn't he just write an Extra Punctuation about games allowing you to fuck up, and how that was a good, organic thing? Seems like Dragon's Dogma is just doing that in an RPG setting: You can go anywhere and challenge anything, but you might get your ass handed to you if you're not careful.

The review was really funny, just thought I'd mention that.
That's certainly a good thing, and apparently even earned some rare praise.

Having a good thing, however, does not automatically turn an entire game awesome.
 

Simonoly

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Great review. He forgot to mention the weird romance mechanics in the game, where in giving too many gifts to pretty much any NPC secures their undying love.

I didn't realise this until completing the game when my character decided to have sex with some random Fisherman that I once gave some food to. And now he's living in my house! It made zero sense, but oh my did it make me laugh.

For all its flaws, there's a bizarre charm to this game.
 

Mozza444

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ace_of_something said:
Mozza444 said:
Really? My pawn is a gigantic bulky black man warrior armed to the teeth He gets rented about once a day and I've accumulated upwards of 50,000 rift crystals from time to time (it's usually about 4,000) The crystals are based on how much XP the pawn earned while in the other person's employ.
What system are you on? I'm on PS3 so maybe the Asian gamer has a little more influence on whats popular.
I was wondering how the rift crystals were determined too so cheers. The day after i started pimping the horrible little slut i had created i got a rental of 23,000 crystals.
Although I recently had him visit to the barber now he has bright blue skin and glowing purple eyes.
I will never hire a pawn that looks like a stripper or a small child. There's enough of them out there that I can get sensible ones. Plus two of my best friends have the game and are staying roughly my level so I use their pawns since I don't have to spend crystals to hire people's pawns on my friends' list.
If i pass a pawn that looks like that i go out of my way to throw them off any sort of height.. it doesn't even kill them bud that blood stain shows that it at least hurt. That is why it annoyed me to stoop so low and make myself a prostitute, out of 40 hours gameplay and 2 weeks with the male pawn i had 3 or 4 rentals.
I'm just waiting to get a few more and hopefully i can change them back.
 

kyogen

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Varil said:
I...hadn't really connected pawns to pimping. I guess because my pawn was a big, brawny pack mule. Then again, some people are into that sort of thing.

Uh.

OH GOD. I need brain bleach. Excuse me.
Well, he's not really wrong. Comparing it to pimping is the joke form of what the pawn system is: a master/slave relationship a la G.W.F. Hegel with a good dose of Friedrich Nietzsche's take on morality and will.

Dragon's Dogma is a very smart smart game. It's fun to play and has excellent combat, creature animations, and AI pathing. It also draws its fantasy narrative not from Tolkien, but from French symbolism and German philosophy. It's anything but generic, though it's flexible enough to allow its players to be as generic as they like. You don't have to know or care about its source material to have a great time with it, but it's got a lot of layers if you want to start peeling.

It was a fun video, but Yahtzee short-changed how the romantic interest works: I didn't get the willowy blond girl (well, I did briefly, but then she went off somewhere else). Instead, I got two brunettes who both decided to live in my character's house and didn't seem to mind each other. One guy on the GiantBomb forums was hitting on two female NPCs but didn't work the affinity system right and accidentally ended up with the city blacksmith (decidedly male, rather hairy, neither blond nor willowy).
 

Steve the Pocket

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And now I have a better idea of what Neopets actually is. Sort of. I guess. Maybe. I mean, all I really knew about it before now was that it's a thing that teenage girls draw fanart of on deviantART.
 

Erttheking

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Yahtzee made his character a chubby black girl and his sidekick a thin petite long haired white boy with rosy cheeks...we need to talk man.
 

oldmeme

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For a while I was convinced the Escapist is making all of Yahtzee's choices for games these days. Then a he blew out of that streak and now it feels like it's happening again. Why doesn't he get games the rest of us are actually playing? Ghost Recon, Rayman Origins, Gravity Rush, Day Z even. *Nobody's* been talking about, or was excited about Dragon's Dogma. If anything, Yahtzeen probably made the game more noticeable by reviewing it, almost like the Escapist was given a copy for him by Cap-ARGHABBLESAGGLESHAWAMS
 

hazabaza1

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oldmeme said:
For a while I was convinced the Escapist is making all of Yahtzee's choices for games these days. Then a he blew out of that streak and now it feels like it's happening again. Why doesn't he get games the rest of us are actually playing? Ghost Recon, Rayman Origins, Gravity Rush, Day Z even. *Nobody's* been talking about, or was excited about Dragon's Dogma. If anything, Yahtzeen probably made the game more noticeable by reviewing it, almost like the Escapist was given a copy for him by Cap-ARGHABBLESAGGLESHAWAMS
There's been various threads about DD before and after release, he's done Rayman Origins, Ghost Recon pretty much just got released, Gravity Rush seems really obscure from what I can tell and I've never seen him review a mod before.
 

Terramax

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Jan 11, 2008
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This is the first video to make me laugh in a while. BTW Yahtzee, would you be able to post a picture of your character?
 

Terramax

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oldmeme said:
For a while I was convinced the Escapist is making all of Yahtzee's choices for games these days. Then a he blew out of that streak and now it feels like it's happening again. Why doesn't he get games the rest of us are actually playing? Ghost Recon, Rayman Origins, Gravity Rush, Day Z even. *Nobody's* been talking about, or was excited about Dragon's Dogma. If anything, Yahtzeen probably made the game more noticeable by reviewing it, almost like the Escapist was given a copy for him by Cap-ARGHABBLESAGGLESHAWAMS
He did review Rayman origins. And how many people did play that? Not many, looking at the sales figures.

Gravity Rush hasn't been released yet.

Ghost Recon is pretty much the kind of game he usually does review.
 

Triaed

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Jan 16, 2009
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How long does long division has to be before it is called long?

I have trouble with two digits in the divisor...