Zero Punctuation: Dragon's Dogma

[Frostbyte666]

hah i'm not going to be looking at recruiting pawns the same way again though I will be laughing as I do it now. I would say this review has been downright nice compared to others.

I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

Fast travel is better on second playthrough but it does cost a lot and you still have to set up the travel system yourself. Also he didn't really say anything bad about the combat (though I've found it great fun), the grappling can be a finiky bugger though with drunken cameraman on the largest monsters.

Still good funny review.

 

[Alexander Competitor]

This gives me an idea, an online game that basically entirely revolves around pimping.

 

[robinkom]

I really enjoy this game and that's all the more reason to find this video hilarious. In fact, this was one of the most enjoyable episodes for me in a while. Bravo, sir!

To me, the cryptic and dodgy plot information and lack of direction smacks of classic 8-bit RPG's where you were pretty much thrust into the same kind of cliche struggle with little to no motivation except, blimey, you're the designated protagonist on the box art. It was typically due to software and hardware limitations back then but I'm so accustomed to that from those days that I feel it to be engaging on a different level with Dragon's Dogma; It adds a sense of wonderment to the game world.

And I never even considered the maintaining of my pawn as pimping... and now I can't shake the notion. I must gussy up my lady pawn in skimpy clothes and leave her on nearest Rift street corner. Thank you, Yahtzee. HAHA!!

 

[Sonicron]

Been quite a while since I laughed this hard during a ZP episode. Absolutely brilliant. xD
That said, I rented the game, and after about six hours I decided there's nothing on God's green Earth that could possibly compel me to buy this piece of junk.

 

[CD-R]

I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

I'm pretty sure in his earlier reviews of Elder Scrolls and Fallout he criticized fast travel systems for making smaller or something. I don't really remember. As for the reason there's no fast travel, it's because of the day/night cycle. At night it becomes much more dangerous. It's almost pitch black without a light source, monsters are more aggressive, zombies and ghosts come out, it almost becomes like a survival horror game.


It basically forces you to plan your journeys accordingly and make sure you leave enough time so you don't get stranded miles from town at night. If the game had fast travel this mechanic would be rendered useless.

The combat is actually very fluid and well designed. It just takes some time to get used to the climbing mechanic. But once you do you'll be stabbing cyclopes in the eye and cutting chimera tales off like a boss in no time. Plus climbing isn't the only way to kill the big monsters. There is a demo out for it if you're curious as to how the game plays.

Edit: I just realized the player character in this video looks just like the one Yahtzee described.

 

[lacktheknack]

Why does it not surprise me that you'd play a strong independent black woman who don't need no man?

 

[garacius]

So, considering the result of his Conan character, how long until deviant art rule 34s (or was it 32, keep mixing those two up) this one?

 

[Jonci]

If it helps, do remember that if a Pawn gets really annoying, you can pick them up and toss them off a cliff.

Also, did anyone else noticed how often female Pawns would be near naked near the release of the game? I swear perfectly good Pawns would come back without clothing and suddenly higher appearance ratings. Sluttiness is all well and good for a Pimp, but I need my pawns to have armor.

 

[Dangit2019]

Yahtzee the sugar mama

Dude, don't you have a pun? Isn't that your job?

 

[remmus]

consider it´s pretty much established anything he doesn´t mentions is either good or not worth mentioning, I think the game got of quite nice, I greatly enjoy it. The combat has little clutter and feel meaty, the archery is the best I seen in a fantasy game in a good while.

Also I kinda feel he undersells the pawns, oh sure they all are more talkative then a drunken housewife, but they are surprisingly tactical in combat and learn there role well.

 

[Tireseas_v1legacy]

Finally, the pimp simulator I was looking for...

 

[Mozza444]

If it helps, do remember that if a Pawn gets really annoying, you can pick them up and toss them off a cliff.

Also, did anyone else noticed how often female Pawns would be near naked near the release of the game? I swear perfectly good Pawns would come back without clothing and suddenly higher appearance ratings. Sluttiness is all well and good for a Pimp, but I need my pawns to have armor.

I used to have a huge bulky skin-head guy as a pawn who could carry lots of shit and act as a good tank. He was rented 3 times in a week, with 3,000 rift crystals as the maximum.

I changed my pawn to a near-nude woman and got around two rentals every time i played and racked up a shit load of rift crystals. It bugged me though so i now have her in heavy armour and she doesn't get half as many rentals.

Too many god-damn children too. I want a team of 4 men that look perfectly able to fuck cyclopes and dragons up. Not two naked chics and a little boy.

 

[Vredesbyrd67]

This one was fucking funny. Funniest in at least a month or two, I'd say.

 

[SnakeoilSage]

Thinderella's morbidly obese older sister... Precious? Fatasstasia? She probably pimps out Thinderella too, unaware of her scrotum-soul-sucking powers.

 

[nyysjan]

And now, after having watched this weeks Zero Punctuation, i am filled with the urge to play Dragon's Dogma.

 

[ace_of_something]

I'm surprised he didn't complain about the lack of fast travel. From what I've heard, this game is a pain in the ass to play sans-combat.

And, given that he didn't exactly endorse the combat, I see little reason to pick this up.

The lack of fast travel is a design choice. Traveling at night tends to be more dangerous, difficult and a different vibe. If you could fast travel you'd always just skip that and escort quests, which are actually kind of fun, would be pointless.

Plus everyone neglects to mention that a couple hours in to the game you get 'ferrystones' which allow you to teleport from anywhere back to the main city. A bit longer in to the game you get ferry crystals which you can place on the ground and teleport to with a ferrystone. The crystal is reusable you just pick it up off the ground and put it back in your inventory.

Also the 'ogre' is the enemy he mentioned. The point of the ogre is it's one of the big enemies that it's a BAD IDEA to climb around on. They're essentially giant gorillas on speed. The pawns learn the best ways to dispatch an enemy by your trial and error or the trial and error that someone else who used them does. They shout things like 'It will target women' 'keep your distance with your attacks!' 'it's resists much magick!' (about a million fucking times) to help you know that ogres are exceptionally tough, will always run at female party members (and go berserk earlier if it has a hold of one) and that debilitating effects pretty much don't work.

 

[Thunderous Cacophony]

Hang on, didn't he just write an Extra Punctuation about games allowing you to fuck up, and how that was a good, organic thing? Seems like Dragon's Dogma is just doing that in an RPG setting: You can go anywhere and challenge anything, but you might get your ass handed to you if you're not careful.

The review was really funny, just thought I'd mention that.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

I have to admit I didn't see a lot of that coming. Good show Yahtzee! Let nobody say you have lost your game.

Also, I kind of like the pawn mechanic. I just wish there was more to like about them then them being a good bottom *****. As they say.

 

[Zydrate]

Holy shit, a Neopets reference? I was all over that shit when I was young.

 

[ace_of_something]

If it helps, do remember that if a Pawn gets really annoying, you can pick them up and toss them off a cliff.

Also, did anyone else noticed how often female Pawns would be near naked near the release of the game? I swear perfectly good Pawns would come back without clothing and suddenly higher appearance ratings. Sluttiness is all well and good for a Pimp, but I need my pawns to have armor.

I used to have a huge bulky skin-head guy as a pawn who could carry lots of shit and act as a good tank. He was rented 3 times in a week, with 3,000 rift crystals as the maximum.

I changed my pawn to a near-nude woman and got around two rentals every time i played and racked up a shit load of rift crystals. It bugged me though so i now have her in heavy armour and she doesn't get half as many rentals.

Too many god-damn children too. I want a team of 4 men that look perfectly able to fuck cyclopes and dragons up. Not two naked chics and a little boy.

Really? My pawn is a gigantic bulky black man warrior armed to the teeth He gets rented about once a day and I've accumulated upwards of 50,000 rift crystals from time to time (it's usually about 4,000) The crystals are based on how much XP the pawn earned while in the other person's employ.
Although I recently had him visit to the barber now he has bright blue skin and glowing purple eyes.

I will never hire a pawn that looks like a stripper or a small child. There's enough of them out there that I can get sensible ones. Plus two of my best friends have the game and are staying roughly my level so I use their pawns since I don't have to spend crystals to hire people's pawns on my friends' list.