Zero Punctuation: E3 2012

sunburst

Media Snob
Mar 19, 2010
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If Master Chief wore a top hat in Halo 4 and Hitman redid the nunsassin trailer with burly men, I would buy both games on day 1.
 

Canadamus Prime

Robot in Disguise
Jun 17, 2009
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You know, this just occured to me, but it seems odd to hear Yahtzee complain about the "clusterfuck," as he calls it, that is the multiplayer of New Super Mario Bros.Wii considering how much he loves Schadenfreude, you'd think fucking over his friends in that game would really suit him. *shug* Although I do have to admit that the addition of the 5th player that just draws platforms does sound like a dumb idea on paper.
 

Blueruler182

New member
May 21, 2010
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Um... It sounds like you just missed quite a few gameplay trailers. At least two that I know of, Halo 4 and Assassins Creed 3.
 

MailOrderClone

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Nov 30, 2009
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I like that everyone really enjoyed the Watch Dogs presentation. It might give the developers this crazy idea that people actually like new IP with fantastic gameplay presentations. What a novel concept that would be if it ever caught on.
 

Anchupom

In it for the Pub Club cookies
Apr 15, 2009
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Quite a lot of toilet puns and references this week Yahtzee... Did you script this while needing a piss?
 

Michael Ellis

New member
Jul 12, 2010
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What the everloving hell is sexualized about Lara's sufferring in Tomb Raider?

Seriously, this idea just makes absolutely no sense to me.
 

bafrali

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Mar 6, 2012
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Michael Ellis said:
What the everloving hell is sexualized about Lara's sufferring in Tomb Raider?

Seriously, this idea just makes absolutely no sense to me.
She is being deliberately harrased to make us white knights care about her. I wonder why would anyone think such a thing.

Gotta agree with yathzee about watch dogs. I wonder if it can be qualified as sci-fi?
 

ace_of_something

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Sep 19, 2008
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CriticKitten said:
That was enjoyable. And I was surprised to find that I actually agreed with Yahtzee about a lot of those games.

BBMv12 said:
I can't be the only one whose surprised he didn't mention The Last of Us or Beyond?
What is there to mention?

He'd probably (accurately) describe them as "Uncharted Reskin" and "Heavy Rain 2, starring Ellen Page".
Except that it's [a href=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140553/]not Ellen Page[/a] and I don't remember the part of Heavy Rain that took place well over 15+ years after a zombie apocalypse. unless...
 

EvilPicnic

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Sep 9, 2009
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Scrustle said:
I can tell you what Dishonored is. It's steampunk Bioshock. With knives.

Also this British killing thing with AC3 is getting on my nerves too. It's not that I'm British and boo-hoo they keep killing us! No, it's the fact that Ubisoft promises the game isn't just pandering to Americans and enemies are on both sides of the war, yet all we have seen is the guy killing British soldiers... And his monologuing sounds like your average patriotic American rhetoric about freedom and blah blah blah. Yeah that doesn't sound like it's not taking sides at all. I'm trying to reserve judgement about the game but it still bothers me.
I agree. I am totally cool with killing British people, but what we have seen shows Connor just fighting redcoats.

One of my favourite aspects of AC1 was that you are fighting your own secret war, within the Crusaders vs. Saracens conflict and killing prominent members of both groups. It expanded what could have been a goodies vs. baddies concept into something more nuanced and real.

That's a fine line we haven't seen displayed at all in these trailers. Back to goodies and baddies I suppose :(
 

Michael Ellis

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Jul 12, 2010
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bafrali said:
She is being deliberately harrased to make us white knights care about her.
Wow, that's so inaccurate it's not even funny. And what, caring about a character suddenly became a perversion overnight while I was sleeping?
 

aspherical

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Aug 24, 2010
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Am I the only one to notice that Watch Dogs includes 2 of Yahtzee's pet-peeves? Namely, cover-based shooting (albiet, using cars rather than waist-high walls, but we only saw 10 minutes of the game) and pre-baked finishing moves.

I was impressed with the demo, it looks like it could have some depth and complexity to it, just sayin'. CBS and PBFM. QED OMG BBQ
 

Redingold

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mar 28, 2009
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ace_of_something said:
CriticKitten said:
That was enjoyable. And I was surprised to find that I actually agreed with Yahtzee about a lot of those games.

BBMv12 said:
I can't be the only one whose surprised he didn't mention The Last of Us or Beyond?
What is there to mention?

He'd probably (accurately) describe them as "Uncharted Reskin" and "Heavy Rain 2, starring Ellen Page".
Except that it's [a href=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140553/]not Ellen Page[/a] and I don't remember the part of Heavy Rain that took place well over 15+ years after a zombie apocalypse. unless...
That comment refers to Beyond, Quantic Dream's new game which does star Ellen Page.
 

hermes

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Mar 2, 2009
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I, for once, liked this E3 more than the previous ones (especially Sony), mostly because they didn't spent 1 hour each trying to sell me on a piece of hardware that is going to cost a gazillion dollars and won't get any decent games until a couple years down the line. Instead, they mostly showed games... games that I will be able to play... in the near future.

I know Sony has the Vita, Microsoft has the smart glass and Nintendo has the Wii U, but the less they spent talking about them, the better. I just skipped most of the conferences mentioning them because I don't have them, I have no intention of buying them in the near future and therefore had little interest in that PR side of things.
 

ace_of_something

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Sep 19, 2008
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Redingold said:
ace_of_something said:
CriticKitten said:
That was enjoyable. And I was surprised to find that I actually agreed with Yahtzee about a lot of those games.

BBMv12 said:
I can't be the only one whose surprised he didn't mention The Last of Us or Beyond?
What is there to mention?

He'd probably (accurately) describe them as "Uncharted Reskin" and "Heavy Rain 2, starring Ellen Page".
Except that it's [a href=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2140553/]not Ellen Page[/a] and I don't remember the part of Heavy Rain that took place well over 15+ years after a zombie apocalypse. unless...
That comment refers to Beyond, Quantic Dream's new game which does star Ellen Page.
ahh got them mixed up.
 

malestrithe

New member
Aug 18, 2008
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CriticKitten said:
malestrithe said:
Wonderbook is the only thing I'm looking forward to this year.
OH GOD.

I really do hope you're kidding. Otherwise, I am morally obligated to end you. Wonderbook is perhaps the most gimmicky of gimmicks ever made, and I never again want to hear bitching about how "the Wii is a gimmick" now that Wonderbook exists!
Why do you want to end me? Is it because gaming has become more diverse and you can't stand that?

I don't care how you feel about this. I think Wonderbook has far more potential outside of gaming that BloodGunn 23 ever would.
 

rayen020

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May 20, 2009
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oh wow yahtzee doesn't like motions controls and harps on the wii for half the video. How bland and predictable and about as helpful as E3 is itself. for the bad taste at and media disgust with E3 this year the best he can do is bad mouth the wii U.

Yahtzee they stopped making games core gamers (unless you keeping counting mario you ponce) like you asked. so write it off like you said you would and lets move on. it stopped being funny around wii sports resort and if the game is for a nintendo product i don't even watch zero punctuation anymore. the Wii U, yes it's going to suck in your opinion yahtzee we got that back in 2008. thanks.

Yeah i'm a fanboy what of it? i'm not going to defend nintendo for making more mario games. they sell they're a business. I'm don't hold EA in contempt for making madden 20XX every year. i'm mad at the people who keep buying them. and the fact that mario is more than a roster update every year is enough to make it better than madden. the Wii and buy extension the Wii U, is a family console. Casual and family friendly games. super mario bros wii isn't met to be played by four friends who'd rather be sitting at home drinking mountain dew and jittering through another round of MW3. It's a game for a family of four looking to do something together on a rainy day. lets move past that.