Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

[NeroScuro]

It's a sandbox mmo, it is whatever you make it to be, there are no instanced arenas or such, which aint a bad thing.

I didn't ask for nor want arenas, I want the fleet combat to not suck.

More kinds of pvp doesn't = better.

It couldn't hurt if the only form of PvP sucks.

It's not just blobs either,

Yes it is.

most of my kills are solo or in small gangs,

You're lying. My old corp (Murder of Crows) basically fell apart basically because we found it impossible to get small-gang or solo PvP without getting blobbed. The game stopped being fun because thanks to retarded changes like WTZ all the 0.0 PvP was just blob vs blob or blob vs lone fucked dude.

and your comment about it being no tactics is just laughable.

Everything you just said is laughable. And wrong.

Judging by your post I'd say you dont know much about eve or its game mechanics.

I played for 3 years, my first fleet PvP experience was about 2 weeks into the game (I joined the DSMA in their war against FA, after getting bored of mining in high-sec) and I never stopped PvPing the entire time. 3 years of non-stop solo low-sec and 0.0 PvP, fleet ops, merc work, piracy, and alliance politics. So yes, I know a hell of a lot about EVE and it's crappy, depthless mechanics (big excel spreadsheet != depth, before you argue), moreso than you probably.

 

[ThEGr33k]

I see a lot of people defending this game from the review and I dont really know why.

Here are my views.

I played Eve on and off for about 4 years. I say on and off because I played it for a couple of months and got fed up with it then left it for a while and thought to myself "cant have been that bad surly". Had another go for a few weeks realised that I couldnt be bothered again spending 50 hours ratting and making money to buy/build a Battle ship just to go 3 jumps and get pawned by a few people gate camping in tiny little ships worth nothing.

Then there is the alliance wars. I was in IAC when we were giving BOB a good sorting out and my god BORING!? Like it has been said fly around for 4 hours waiting for the damn fleet to form then fly 50 jumps taking 5 hours and then get there and warp about for another 2 hours and maybe have a fight which looks like a slide show while having to click 50 times to lock onto a ship by which time as it decides to lock on the ship is already vapour and you are having to do it all over again.

Id like to know which bit is fun for these people who still like it? Going around popping people who are alone while you are out numbering and gunning them? Or mining? Or Ratting? Or doing missions that pay nothing and that are so hard you need a fleet of friends to complete?

IMO this review gets it perfectly.

Eve is soooo unballanced it takes the micky.

 

[Kaiyen]

EVE is my favorite game, though I never knew I was a nuurd.. That means I didn't find this review funny at all.
However, I have to admit that Yahtzee is pretty much right))

 

[Buddahcjcc]

All the review and NOW the ghost training nerf has lots of ppl leaving. The thread about the nerf is 5000+ replies long.

 

[asviola]

I never got into MMO's, until WoW, which pretty much claimed a large portion of my life. Thankfully I'm over that addiction, but then a friend suggested Eve, telling me it was a more sophisticated game directed for a mature audience. What I found was pretty much what you said. I spent about 2 hours just to get through the beginning tutorial, and after that I still didn't understand what was going on, but basically I went around shooting ships and traveling. The game was so incredibly boring and complicated I quit after one day.

 

[z0r]

He's got the UI part right. Its not intuitive at all. NPC missions and etc is right as well. Combat part is wrong. Its a bit more elaborate than kicking each other's shins.

Bit pointless to review an MMO if you're going to go only through the Single Player version of it though.

I've played it since 2006, and tbh what kept me hooked was the large scale fleet warfare. More so now when servers have been updated to hold up to 400 vs 400 fights.

And you dont need millions of skill points to join one. In the same day you join you're able to use a frigate decently enough to be useful as a "Tackler". And most player owned corps will supply you with ships, guns and etc at this newbie state.

Overall his review is correct for casual gamers, who arent CCP's target audience.

Imo I think he should do a Part Deux, invited into a Player Owned corporation, and see how Eve's endgame really is.

 

[Mighty Ferengi]

I "played" EVE for about three weeks. After cleaning my house spotless and rearranging my living room, I finally arrived at my mission only to be blasted by some jerk with a battle cruiser. Yeah, not my idea of fun.

 

[griffinith]

I "played" EVE for about three weeks. After cleaning my house spotless and rearranging my living room, I finally arrived at my mission only to be blasted by some jerk with a battle cruiser. Yeah, not my idea of fun.

One of the many reasons I like DarkSpace better than EVE Online. There's a Noobieverse for the beginners to get used to the game, and gain some experience before launching into the meta-verse in an attempt to take over the Galaxy.

 

[neoman10]

I "played" EVE for about three weeks. After cleaning my house spotless and rearranging my living room, I finally arrived at my mission only to be blasted by some jerk with a battle cruiser. Yeah, not my idea of fun.

One of the many reasons I like DarkSpace better than EVE Online. There's a Noobieverse for the beginners to get used to the game, and gain some experience before launching into the meta-verse in an attempt to take over the Galaxy.

umm wow

 

[Mighty Ferengi]

It's not just that aspect that I did not like, it was the time involved to get any where and it seemed like you did more when you were not actually playing the game than when you are. I am eagerly waiting for Star Trek Online before I try anymore MMORPGs.

 

[lordshinchan]

Most of the people in this thread are retarded and so is this review for most parts.

In you review you said you did not join a corporation, am I correct? Not joining a corporation is like going solo on a Raid in world of warcraft, its just not as fun because you do not have your friends/guild mates to back you up and have fun with.

And what are you talking about how the battle system is the same as every other game? All games including F2F games are just swords and magic spells. At least in EVE you get to take control of enormous ships that shoot rockets and thermal lasers instead of swords.

Hm, Yahtzee making an effort to find a new and inventive MMO? Is it raining custard? Have my legs suddenly turned into Belgian tourists?

Good God, it's for real.

Oh, wait, he's ripping the shit out of it. Thank goodness, I'll spit out those Asprin and keep typing.

Never even heard of EVE until today (no I didn't look at the ads, what do you take me for, someone with money?), and after today, well, I won't go near it without a flamethrower and a spray gun full of Holy Water. Never being much of an MMO fan myself, you pretty succinctly pointed out eveything that needed to be said:

Tries to be WoW.

Fails miserably.

Still murders your social life with a pickaxe.

Good man. Funny, angry and laced with bile. Not unlike my porn collection.

Check your facts first before you post without thinking.
Eve Online: May 6, 2003
World of Warcraft: November 23, 2004

And how does it murder your social life? You are able to level up even if you do not have your computer on, so if anything, it gives you more free time for your social life.

I agree with everything said in that review, i downloaded EVE because it is advertised here, I played it for about 20 minutes and thought, 'what the hell is the point in this?'. Granted, I have never been a fan of MMOs but this one is beyond boring

Only 20 minutes? In the first 20 minutes of your birth did you learn your entire native language? Do you learn how to read, write, do mathematical equations? No you do not, you go to school for years and learn how to do all those things.

It is true that what he said in his review that EVE does have a very steep learning curve but EVE is a more, mature game that is not populated with children. But if you take the time to learn the game you will find in more enjoyable as there are a lot of guides for learning how to play EVE. And PvE can be a little dull but you do not have to do PvE to make money, you can do like become a Pirate. Its a fun but dangerous job and takes some skill but worth it if you learn how to do it right and maybe find some friends to do it with to make sure you don't get jumped. But other than PvE the PvP is incredible.

I would love to spend an hour or two quoting most of the idiotic post in this 21 page Thread but I will chose not to read all the post just as most of you chose not to take the time and try EVE.

 

[lordshinchan]

Most of the people in this thread are retarded and so is this review for most parts.

In you review you said you did not join a corporation, am I correct? Not joining a corporation is like going solo on a Raid in world of warcraft, its just not as fun because you do not have your friends/guild mates to back you up and have fun with.

And what are you talking about how the battle system is the same as every other game? All games including F2F games are just swords and magic spells. At least in EVE you get to take control of enormous ships that shoot rockets and thermal lasers instead of swords.

Hm, Yahtzee making an effort to find a new and inventive MMO? Is it raining custard? Have my legs suddenly turned into Belgian tourists?

Good God, it's for real.

Oh, wait, he's ripping the shit out of it. Thank goodness, I'll spit out those Asprin and keep typing.

Never even heard of EVE until today (no I didn't look at the ads, what do you take me for, someone with money?), and after today, well, I won't go near it without a flamethrower and a spray gun full of Holy Water. Never being much of an MMO fan myself, you pretty succinctly pointed out eveything that needed to be said:

Tries to be WoW.

Fails miserably.

Still murders your social life with a pickaxe.

Good man. Funny, angry and laced with bile. Not unlike my porn collection.

Check your facts first before you post without thinking.
Eve Online: May 6, 2003
World of Warcraft: November 23, 2004

And how does it murder your social life? You are able to level up even if you do not have your computer on, so if anything, it gives you more free time for your social life.

I agree with everything said in that review, i downloaded EVE because it is advertised here, I played it for about 20 minutes and thought, 'what the hell is the point in this?'. Granted, I have never been a fan of MMOs but this one is beyond boring

Only 20 minutes? In the first 20 minutes of your birth did you learn your entire native language? Do you learn how to read, write, do mathematical equations? No you do not, you go to school for years and learn how to do all those things.

It is true that what he said in his review that EVE does have a very steep learning curve but EVE is a more, mature game that is not populated with children. But if you take the time to learn the game you will find in more enjoyable as there are a lot of guides for learning how to play EVE. And PvE can be a little dull but you do not have to do PvE to make money, you can do like become a Pirate. Its a fun but dangerous job and takes some skill but worth it if you learn how to do it right and maybe find some friends to do it with to make sure you don't get jumped. But other than PvE the PvP is incredible.

I would love to spend an hour or two quoting most of the idiotic post in this 21 page Thread but I will chose not to read all the post just as most of you chose not to take the time and try EVE.

Sensitive much?

Very.

 

[Drasden]

His problem is simple: In order to enjoy EVE you must spend at least a week researching to figure out what everything is. Unless you do that you'll be totally lost, and to be honest even after that you'll still be clueless about alot of things.

And yes the realtime-based leveling system does seem a little anti-climatic, but it does remove the grinding portion.

Too, he avoided the corporaions. Player corps are 99% of the game, and if you don't join one of them you're not the everyman, you're the wierd guy in the corner. The sheer limitlessness of what you can do with the help of others is the whole pull of the game.

Of course if that isn't your thing, then EVE isn't the game for you. Each to their own, eh?

 

[Edable Giraffe]

Only 20 minutes? In the first 20 minutes of your birth did you learn your entire native language? Do you learn how to read, write, do mathematical equations? No you do not, you go to school for years and learn how to do all those things.

Your logic is flawed, in the first 20 minutes of my life i didn't chainsaw aliens from beneath the planet's surface, yet i can do it in a videogame. Games are about fun, not realism

 

[The_Prophet]

EVE sucks, really sucks. I tried it and after only 15 minutes i said "F*** this i'm off". Too damm complicated, and yes it is the one game that makes deep space boring.

 

[Grybeard]

Having played Eve for the last couple years or so I can agree to the social life point. If you actually play the game regularly you will not have much of a social life. It takes a while to do anything in eve. Level 4 missions can sometimes take 2-3 hours a mission running solo.

The one thing these people that complaine need to remeber is:
Eve is an involved game
Its not for dumb people
Some of it actually requires forethought and planning
It does not lead you by the nose like Wow

The PVP is where you get the adreneline rush. When you die in wow or any other fairy game like that, you don't really lose anything. When your ship gets popped in Eve, you are out Isk. You have to rebuild your losses. So in this sense there is more excitement in eve. And when you are talking BILLIONS of isk for some ships, it can be quite... invigorating.. (read as stressful). I saw a recent kill posted where a hauler got popped transporting a huge ammount of BPOs. That kill cost him/his corp like 40 Billion ISK.

Eve is not for everyone. Its certainly not for those who want to hop on and grind for an hour or so. It IS a a very involved game where you can pretty much go anywhere and do anything you want.

 

[jodertio]

take that Yahtzee now you got eve ads after you videos also in the page muhahahahha

 

[Anti213]

The EVE ads gave it some delicious irony

 

[Mr.Switchblade]

Typical fanboys agreeing with everything Yahtzee says until he goes after their precious baby.

 

[Jammerson]

As with all your reviews this was absolutely priceless, but for those wanting a second opinion, and you wouldn?t be reading the comments if you didn?t want one, this game does actually have a niche. It allows you to truly choose your level of involvement in the game. I can choose to do something brain dead cause I just need some background noise while I do work. Or I can choose to take on something that will immerse me in strategic combat, like a game of speed chess only with infinitely more pieces. I still haven?t gotten up the courage yet to speak to player run corps but I am capable of finding fun in the game, but they defiantly don?t hand you fun on a silver platter.